Since I don't know the legend of ROBO DRAC, Luke is going to tell you.

The Tomfoolery and Misadventures of Robo-Drac, The Crazy Robot

Some people sometimes say to me "what the fuck is wrong with you? are you insane? get a life! what's up with you and this robo-drac crazy robo-shit, fucking freak." Now, obviously, i can tell you these people have never taken hallucinagenic drugs. Second of all, they should just be glad they are able to sit and yell vulgarities at me, while poor children in lithuania, britain and such can't because they are too busy being chased around BY ROBO-DRAC!!!!!!!!!! They won't be all yellly when they have a giant metal claw up their ass thats for sure. Excuse me for getting off track but those little punks don't know how lucky they are that they have decent hygiene, and there is no 9 foot tall shiney freak with one wheel rolling after them, pricks.

The Great Story Legend of ROBO DRAC

The Beginning Like I was saying, Robo-Drac is the end result of a super secret laboratory experiment to strike fear and peril into the hearts of soldiers on the new "high tech battle field" of the 1960s. Robo-Drac was the ultimate robot. His robot and dracula herritage was not planned though, at the final stage of his production, a bat flew into the open motherboard and started biting some circuits until the voltage fused his pathetic bat body into the nerve center. But this was no regular testicle, errr, i mean bat, it was a VAMPIRE BAT! dun dun dun! But this was no regular vampire bat, it was DRACULA! dun dun dun! So with that Robo-Drac was born. He was the epitome of 60s technology, a shiney titanium casing, a voicebox of magnets, the best micro-chips and state of the art circuitry of the time, newest capacitors, resistors, potentiometers, boards, wires and such of the time. He had all the best of the era, but sadly it was all analog, those ignorant fucks did not for see the digital future. They were wrong, dead wrong. Sadly they built in a switch that chose between Berzerk and normal, they didn't see a use at the time, but who knows, they could have needed it at one point. Robo-Drac was made to be a war machine, but in field tests he fell over alot and proved useless because he would have tendencies to suck the blood out of and kill his comrades, and would sometimes get horny after seeing a field radio, M-14, M-16, or other equipment being taken apart, so he would fuck the nearest object (pun intended) or start jerking off, which would get axle grease all over the place. So pardon the french, but he then sat around in the factory he was built in for a few years while his maker ran tests and developed upgrades. Some people have started rumors that he developed his hate for bad hygiene during this time because of the chief engineer's terrible breath in robo-drac's face all the time, but those people are fucking idiots and should be shot in the face.

The Rebellion Then one day robo-drac standsed all he could and couldn't stands no more. He acted like he was taking a robo-nap and when Dr. Fukinfaighet came in for his daily anal raping/probe robo-drac severed his head from his body, set fire to the factory and dumped the dismembered corpse into the closest body of water. It was with this that robo-drac discovered the fun and joy of killing, a book by Arnold Lambert, it was sitting on his end table when he went home to his new bitchin bachelor pad. ooooooooooohh weeeeeeeee, go robo, go robo, look out ladies, he's a robo-sex machine. Ahem, excuse me, I got a little carried away, fucking hookers.

Berzerk Time Robo-Drac sat and lay dormant for several years until one day while searching for his robot genitalia with his ridiculously large robot telescoping claw arms when he "accidentally" hit his berzerk switch into the on position. Lets just say it payed not to be a baby skull when that happened. He was raping, killing, high jacking, molesting, exploding, burning, heckling, yellling at, giving a hard time to, making uncomfortable, scaring, making people people lose a grip of their self woth and confidence, destroying self esteem, and being a big jerk to everything in sight. but he'd learn a lesson he'd never forget, never vacuum in a night gown, and listen for the popping to know when to stop microwaving popcorn.

turn tape over. BEEEEEEEEEP end part 1

Robo-Drac Tells you to suck It! Part 2: Ah, fuck. Robo-drac sez eat shit and die muthafucka!

The Awful Truth Part 3:

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OH SHIT! the bastard is goanna be berzerk 24-7 killing people. Why are you still reading this? your all dead and you don't even know it! run you fucking wretches! your fucked! run! run! give up! cry! your goanna die!

Robo-drac goes SUB-sonic

Part 5: Robo-drac got bored with killing land animals so he sent away for a new upgrade. It allows him to turn into a goddamn submarine, now is it me or is that just silly? That dick was sitting in my bathtub and he turned on the little attenuator that activated it and it blew my house up, i come back from the store and a big ass submarine was sitting on my ex-house. so i hit it in the crotch and smashed it's face in with a bottle and went for a ride, but it sucked so i got off. Of course he went and killed people in the dead see, the irony is incredible, it makes me want to vomit. and thats the end of that chapter.

Robo-drac shoots seniors in the face with a gun

Part 6: One day after fighting a bus-full of midgets to the death for their bread money he went into a senior citizen home and shot some old people. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. he's still loose. and always will be. uh oh.

COMING SOON!! Part 7(robo-drac beats you to death with your arms), 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, and 627