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| There was a group of people on a tour-bus. The guide on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a man got up and said that he could tell a Liverpool FC joke. Suddenly a bloke at the back of the bus said, "No, don't do that! I'm a Liverpool Fan!" The guide looked at him and said, "Don't worry! We'll explain it to you afterwards!" |
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| Q. How can you tell that the elephant man is a Liverpool fan? A. Because he looks like one! |
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| Q. What's the difference between a man with no tongue and a Liverpool fan? A. The man with no tongue has better taste! |
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| Q. What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a lemon? A. One's yellow, bitter and twisted, the other's a citrus fruit! |
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| Q. Why should Liverpool fans be burried 100 foot deep? A. Because deep down, they're really good people! |
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| Q. What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a coconut? A. One is thick and hairy, the other is a tropical fruit! |
| Top tip for Liverpool fans: Don't waste money on an expensive new kit every season. Simply strap a large inflatable dick to your forehead and everyone will immediately know what team you support! |
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| There was a girl from Merseyside on holiday on a beach in Tampa. She walked along the beach eyeing the big-bosomed girls walking arm-in-arm with their boyfriends and she became distraught, for she had a rather insignificant pair of jugs! Suddenly she found a merky old bottle that had been washed up on the shore and she picked it up. Poof! Out of the bottle emerged a genie who immediately offered to grant her a wish. Straight away she said, "Give me two of the biggest tits in the world." Poof! Poof! And magically before her eyes appeared Robbie Fowler and Emile Heskey! |
| Q. Why are Liverpool FC like a knackered old bra? A. They both have shite support! |
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| Q. What's the difference between Jamie Redknapp and a Skoda? A. The Skoda takes corners better! |
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