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| Q. Why do Kopites whistle when they're on the toilet? A. So that they know which end to wipe! |
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| Q. Why do Kopite Men like intelligent women? A. Opposites attract! |
| Q. What do you say to a Kopite with a job? A. Can I have a Big Mac please! |
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| Did you hear about the Conservative MP who was found dead in a Liverpool kit? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear to save his family from embarassment! |
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| Q. What do you call the Liverpool team standing ear to ear? A. A wind tunnel! |
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| Q. Why is the Anfield pitch so green? A. Because there's always loads of shit on it! |
| Gerard Houllier is curious as to how Man Utd achieve so much success so he goes on a visit to Manchester to watch Alex Ferguson coach his team! After the first day he is not particularly impressed with the training practises, so he asks Ferguson how he gets his players so sharp! "Well it is simple," said Ferguson. "I sometimes ask my players a difficult question, and that way they stay really sharp mentally!" Houllier wants an example so Ferguson calls over Paul Scholes! Ferguson says, "Paul, he is your father's son, but he is not your brother! Who is he?" Scholes replies straight away, "This is me of corse!" "You see! That's the way to keep them sharp!" Ferguson says to Houllier! So Houllier decides to bring this into Liverpool's training! During training the next day he calls over Robbie Fowler. "As part of a new training practise I have a question for you Robbie," says Houllier. "He is your father's son but he is not your brother! Who is he?" "My God!" Says Fowler. "I need to sleep on it!" Houllier grants the delayed answer and Robbie goes home to think about it! Later that night, still not knowing the answer, Fowler decides to ring his good mate Steve McManaman for help. "Hiya Steve. He's my father's son but he's not my brother! Who is he?" "That's easy," replied McManaman, "the answer is Me!" So the next day Fowler goes into Houllier's office full of confidence to answer the question! "OK Robbie," says Houllier, "he's your father's son but he's not your brother! who is he?" "That's easy!" replies Robbie "The answer is Steve McManaman!" Houllier is furious! "No Robbie you idiot! The answer is Paul Scholes!" |
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