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no self respecting hooligan, film -star wannabe, Youth Congress 
activist or milkman was seen 
without one of the thumping
exhaust singles.
Flash of the Thumper
 

Boozo Boz, Johnny the
wild one, Harley Davison
& the Marlboro Man
Screen Wheels
 
 

Diesel Enfields, Mz and
Nato experiments
Selling a Horse in
Donkey's country
 

Unqualified and self taught 
mechanics on one hand,
and unscrupulous dealers
on the other
...and the art of 
motorcycleMaintenance.
 
 

“Do you have gas shockers ?? 
For Enfield Bullet ??
No demand, doesn't Sell
 
 

A stallion on Viagra? No just
a Lemon from Bimota
Return of 2-stroke?

“Do you have gas shockers ?? For Enfield Bullet ??
I was at the stand of a reputed shock absorber manufacturer and the venue was Auto Expo. 96, New Delhi.  “Oh no, so far we only have them for cars”, was the polite reply to which I persisted “and why not??” 
“You see there is hardly any demand for them, besides a pair would cost around Rs.3600.”
“I would buy them tomorrow” I snorted, to which the gentlemen in charge of the stall broke into a smile and said, “of course connoisseurs like you know the difference, but the masses are hardly ready to even buy our standard ones, preferring to recondition them again and again.” 
Unlike me, the company executive probably had elements of truth in his explanation. Not that I was intentionally lying or boasting, just wishful thinking out loud, a bit of  Walter Mittying. 
An odd job man with an automobile garage chain having an executive's rank to bar union membership, my salary of that time equalled the rate quoted for the units. Nor did I really posses an Enfield.

Three years onwards, having become a self employed literary contractor and in possession of two cranky Enfields both donated (and not by the company), I scrapped enough financial prowess to equip one of them with gas dampers. Deciding that the same company must have launched them by now, I made my way to their agent in town, a good friend (all spare dealers are friends, otherwise how to get discounts).
Gas shocker, tu Gadi kab liya ??
Reaffirming my adhesion to poverty and that I haven’t bought a car, I told him it was for my motorcycle, to which he scornfully reminded that we were living in India. 
A similar scenario awaited me in Delhi. Strange looks and brusque replies, with only one enterprising entrepreneur offering several car units to chose from and to select the one closest to my specification. The grey market in Mumbai had a few imported pieces, but at a premium and none fitting an Enfield. The bottom line everywhere was that there is no demand and hence no supply. Thanks for reminding me of  my college economics class!!

If gas shock absorbers are absent on behest of being  rich capitalist toys, it still doesn't alter my perception of the Indian motorist, more so the motorcyclist as the most poorly serviced consumer in the country. In fact so pathetic is our condition, that most are thankful when a current production vehicle’s spare is available on demand. With two Escorts dealers in town, I still haven’t been able to purchase a Rajdoot’s front axle bracket, costing Rs 57 for three months. The reason - its a slow moving part.
Preceding my hunt for gaseous comfort was my search for sprockets with different tooth counts, which thankfully bore fruit in Delhi. The Sardarji in whose shop I struck gold, further offered to supply any configuration I wanted, provided it is a minimum order of a hundred pieces. My quest for high compression pistons however ended nowhere. Nonetheless a NRI Desi Bhaiya is reportedly marketing them over the web.

It is understandable when genuine OEMs stick to stock configurations, but what about the after market suppliers? So far the only widely available performance enhancing replacement part for two wheelers in the market are halogen light bulbs, maybe batteries, accompanied by larger then life claims and very little real benefits.  Forget hot Cams and Alloy cylinders with high compression pistons. Talk of simple replacements such as  tyres, air filters, exhausts or chains and one to all profess to be at par with OEMs, being “export quality” and that they increase fuel mileage ! 
No horse power boosting mufflers ( for 4strk), no large volume air boxes and not even O -ring chains. No K&N and Kerkers here, not even clones. 
The grey market ?? Sure, be ready to shell out a small fortune, knowing that the pieces were actually designed for  different machines and may come with different tolerances, and obviously no guarantees on quality. 

It would again be unfair on my part to denounce the entire Indian automotive ancillary industry as makers of decals, stickers and plastic add-ons, for there are a few manufacturers producing articles like electronic ignition modules, alloy rims and disk brakes. But try finding these products in the shop next door. Alloy rims for motorcycles ?? Go to Delhi !! Electronic ignition ?? Try Madras ( no Chennai business here). 
The scale of operations of most of these companies are usually too minuscule for nationwide distribution and you can’t really blame them for it. Apart for die hard enthusiasts, the majority of Indian motorists  wouldn’t dare to experiment with hot cams and programmable ignition timing. Poor knowledge of the vehicle’s innards is one cause for this, the equal ignorance of  most mechanics about anything beyond standard repairing, is the other.

“If you raise the compression of your bike, then your oil seals will not last long” one cautioned me matter-of-factly, making sure that all his customers heard his wise counsel. Luckily I did not figure among his clientele and went ahead with my project, oil seals are still doing fine, unless he meant the right fork  one. 
“Replace your air filter with the wire mesh one from a Rajdoot as it will breath easier and increase top end pickup”, I advised a fellow Enfield owner, drawing him a diagram how it is to be done.
He even bought the filter cartridge and one trip to the mechanic to get the changeover made, he rode back with the original. The mechanic told him that the Rajdoot filter might seize the engine.

Anybody wondering why Yoshimura or Paul Dunstal are not from  this country ?