Welcome
to
Anton Wantovic's
Planet
(Updated 26th of May 2007)
My dear "Intergalactic Friends" I suppose you have probably guessed that I'm not from your world after all but from a little planet called Sluggh. I have to own up I'm not really an Earthling you know, I'm a Sluggard and proud of it. Whilst you bide your short time here I am empowered to make you a Honorary Sluggard for your entire stay, this remains in force till you leave the site. To become a Full Sluggard is indeed an honour bestowed on very few Earthlings.
"How did we find your Planet?"
Full Sluggard status would enable you to have an exchange visit with one of our chosen Sluggard citizens on Planet Sluggh, however there are very stringent tests to pass before you can claim Full Sluggard status. A brief list is given below:
1. You must learn the words of the
though Sluggh language is preferred English is allowed. A full "Song Sheet" is available on this site for you to practice.
2. You must be able to swear the
"Oath of Allegiance to the Sluggard Flag"
this is done in Sluggh language only, English will not be considered.
3. The Earthling physical structure is highly amusing to Sluggard people very often resulting in pointing and laughing uncontrollably at the unfortunate Earthling whom they come in to contact with. It is highly recommended that molecular reconstruction is undertaken at the earliest opportunity if you are selected for an exchange visit, this is reversible. This is only suggested practice, if you like being laughed at then molecular reconstruction will not be necessary.
4. Try to learn some simple Sluggard phrases a native Sluggard will be delighted at your efforts to speak his language, even if you make ridiculous howlers.
5. A word of caution the "Bald Head" is highly prized and admired on the Planet Sluggh by the female Sluggards. They find a bald head irresistible. The balder the head the more attracted they are, and will probably throw themselves uncontrollably at you. This can be a curse and a blessing depending on how you handle the situation.
If the stringent tests are passed a full certificate will ensue entitling the holder to Full Sluggard status and the prospect of a six-month stay on this beautiful green planet.
Read "Letters to a Sluggard" typical Earthling replies to our people after staying on our beloved planet.
And lastly but not so beastly the comprehensive "Oxford Sluggh/English Phrase Book and Dictionary" to enable you to communicate in the tongue of our homeland people.
"GOOD LUCK EARTHLINGS"
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Links
4. Colopera
5. Bunterzone