***

My hands tremble a little when I reach up to fuss with my hair, facing my distorted reflection in the polished elevator doors that just closed behind me. "Agh!" I groan and scrutinize myself sternly, not at all liking the fact that I'm standing outside Pacey's new apartment talking to myself and feeling like a nervous wreck.

"Get a grip." I say quietly through clenched teeth before inspecting my attire one last time. It had taken me the better part of the afternoon, and my room had ended up looking like it'd been turned upside down, but I was pretty satisfied with the outcome.

The soft red silk of my sleeveless top helped add a bit of color to my face, belying the irrepressible bout of nerves that had my stomach in knots, and the black pants made me look a little taller. It took one full hour for me to decide to pull my hair up into a loose twist.

I roll my eyes at myself and then make an about-face. Just breathe.

My over-bright smile freezes on my face the moment the door opens. I had expected Pacey to open the door, and instead was greeted by a staid gentleman in an immaculate white jacket. One quick glance around the room confirms that I hardly know anyone in this party except for Philip Carter, my boss, and that most of the guests are women. Beautiful, statuesque ones.

"May I take your coat, miss?" The man who opened the door asks me.

I smile at him and slip off my light black jacket. I step a little further into the room as he hangs my coat in a closet, and my heart sinks when I spot Vanessa Reed walking in from the direction of the bedroom with a tight smile on her face. Pacey follows shortly after, his mouth set in a grim line that immediately disappears as soon as he greets some of the guests.

"Ah, you must be the mysterious Josephine Potter, interior designer to Nick Shafer's latest bachelor pad."

Eyebrows quirking in amusement, I turn toward the source of the unexpected greeting and find myself face to face with a tall man with light brown hair and smiling green eyes.

"Mysterious?" I repeat, curious.

"All Nick would tell me was that his new place looks fantastic, thanks to this talented woman with a lopsided smile and big, beautiful eyes the color of chocolate." The compliments roll effortlessly off his tongue, causing my cheeks to heat up, but he keeps going with smiling ease. "My name's Mike Whitman. I work with Nick. He's right, by the way. The place does look fantastic. And he really did say that you have eyes the color of chocolate." The last sentence is added with obvious amusement.

"Hi. I'm Joey. Thanks." I smile back, reaching out for a handshake and squelching the urge to ask what else Pacey had said. I don't know which to feel more - exhilaration or embarrassment - knowing that he had talked to his friends about me in such glowing terms. Knowing that he had been talking about me at all.

"Would you like to get a drink?" Mike asks politely, slightly raising the glass he had in his hand.

"Yes," I reply, grateful. "I think I need one."

We weave our way through the crowd of people in Pacey's spacious living room and head for the bar, stopping occasionally so that Mike could introduce me to some of the guests.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asks when we finally make it to our destination.

"The strongest white wine that you have."

My head whips around to find Pacey standing behind me, a grin on his face. I grin back, despite the fact that my cheeks were beginning to hurt from having to keep a smile pasted on my face the entire time that Mike was introducing me to their friends.

"Exactly," I say to confirm what he had ordered for me.

His warm smile imprints itself onto my brain. We stand there looking at each other, everyone else around the room dissolving into insignificance while the two of us share the briefest of moments. As if we were two kids keeping a special secret to ourselves.

Pacey kisses me lightly on my cheek, his hand touching my arm, and then pulls away again with a twinkle lighting up his eyes. "Jen's on her way."

My smile widens. "Is she bringing a date?"

He laughs and shakes his head before turning to his friend. "Hey, Mike," Pacey smacks him playfully on his back. "I see you've discovered my special secret." He winks at me and my already-shaky insides get even shakier.

The bartender hands me my drink and I take a sip, surreptitiously taking a quick survey of our immediate surroundings. No irate mannequin-like woman hovering. Yet.

"Forget it, Shafer, we all knew that you never could've come up with all this by yourself." Mike replies, his arm gesturing at the room.

Pacey laughs and then briefly puts his arm around me. "You'd better not try anything funny with this one, Whitman, or I'll personally kick your ass. Don't believe everything this guy says, Joey." And he's gone, leaving me a big, confused, jumbled mess.

I'm sipping through my second glass of wine, sick of mingling and tired of having to keep myself from craning my neck to see what Pacey was doing and who he was talking to, when I see Jen at the door. She catches my eye across the room and smiles.

"Hey, traitor." Jen greets me as soon as she's close enough.

"Traitor?" I ask innocently.

She laughs. "You should thank your lucky stars that John and I had a good time, instead of the horrifyingly traumatic episode that could have transpired because of your evil scheme."

"A good time, huh? How good?" I tease her, genuinely happy that all had gone well.

"You'll have to buy me lunch before I tell you. Where's Pacey?" We head for the bar, where she orders a drink.

I look around the party and spot him immediately. He's wearing a black shirt with gray pants, emphasizing his tall, lean frame. The women around him are laughing and hanging on his every word, all of them looking completely infatuated.

I take a big swallow from my glass and tilt my head in his direction. "Flirting with pretty much every woman at this party. Why am I not surprised?"

Jen follows my gaze, amused. "Do I detect a note of…"

"Don't even say it, Jen." I interrupt her and vehemently shake my head. "He can go on flirting with anything in a skirt, for all I care."

She looks at me and tries hard not to laugh. "Joey, how many drinks have you had?"

Just then Pacey looks in our direction. I avert my eyes quickly, taking another sip of my drink.

"Lindley! Thought you'd never get here." He says as soon as he had disengaged himself from his throng of admirers and gotten close enough to talk to us.

"Yeah, well, I had to placate John Terrell's wife because she found out that I was set up on a lunch date with him." Jen bursts out laughing when Pacey looks horrified. "Kidding."

I had been waiting for most of the night for him to be standing this close to me again, so close that each time I take a breath I inhale the scent of his aftershave. And now that he's here, every part of me feels paralyzed. Helpless.

"This place looks great, Pacey." Jen was telling him.

"Thanks." He replies cheerfully. "Of course, you know I owe it all to Joey." His hand touches my back so lightly and so briefly that I wonder to myself if I'm imagining things.

"Yes, and you'll know it, too. As soon as the bill arrives," I crack, finally shaking myself out of my daze.

The three of us are laughing comfortably when Vanessa comes up with a slight pout on her face and daggers in her eyes. "Nicky," she breathes, resting her hand on his shoulder.

Pacey stiffens and then quickly recovers, taking her hand and casually removing it from his shoulder while smiling and making the introductions. "Vanessa Reed, Jen Lindley and Joey Potter."

"Hello," Vanessa gives Jen a syrupy smile and then turns to me. "Oh, and Joey and I have met." She flashes me her perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth before looking back at Pacey. "At that party, remember? Although we haven't really been properly introduced."

He looks at her with an unreadable expression on his face. "Is there something you wanted, Vanessa?"

She blinks her eyes at him. "I have to go. I have an early shoot tomorrow, remember?"

He nods and lets her pull him to the door. "Be right back," he calls out to us.

"Right. Sure." I have to clench my teeth to keep from rolling my eyes toward the ceiling.

Pacey walks Vanessa to the door and gets her coat for her while Jen follows their progress, looking entertained. I can't keep myself from watching either, feeling pathetic for not being able to look away even when everything inside me is screaming for me to get out of there - anything to keep from having to witness this.

He looks down at her and says something. She gazes up at him and places her hand on the back of his head, her fingers buried in the short hair at his nape while she closes her eyes and gives him a long, lingering kiss.

My eyelids slide closed and I turn my head away, needing to clench my hand around my glass just so I wouldn't drop it. I can't breathe. I feel like my lungs have ceased to function, like my legs are going to give way anytime soon. My heart is squeezing so painfully in my chest that I almost want to cry.

And that's when it hits me.

That's when I know that I have to get out of here. Now, before something inside me collapses and I make an utter fool of myself in front of his friends.

"Joey?" Jen asks worriedly. "Are you okay?"

I open my eyes, smiling wanly. One look at the dampness in my lashes and she knows. "I need to go," I tell her.

She squeezes my hand quickly and nods. "I'll come with you."

"No," I shake my head. I've gotten a hold of myself. "You stay. You just got here. I'll be fine."

She looks reluctant. "Joey, I'd really rather go with you. I don't know anyone here anyway."

I look at her pleadingly, not wanting to arouse any suspicion that I am anything other than perfectly okay. "Jen, stay. Please. He'll feel hurt that you stayed so briefly." I add the last part with a rueful smile.

"Alright," she sighs with resignation. "But I'll call you as soon as I get home, okay?"

I nod and give her a quick hug. "Thanks. Bye."

I make my way through the remaining guests, the smile pasted firmly on my face again. I am almost at the door when I run into Pacey, who I assume had been on his way back to where Jen is standing.

"Joey!" He exclaims brightly.

"I need to go," I tell him right away, apologetic.

He looks surprised. "What? But you just got here!"

I force out a little laugh and shake my head. "I really have to go." Suddenly I remember something. I dig around in my purse for the single silver key and take it out, keeping my eyes fixed on it glinting in my hand. "Here. You should take this back now."

Pacey holds my outstretched hand in his and just looks at me for a few seconds. "Jo, please stay." He says quietly.

I stare uncertainly at the view outside Pacey's apartment, hardly registering the twinkling lights of Manhattan.

Pacey had gone downstairs to the lobby with Jen to get her a cab. All the guests have gone, the caterer has cleaned up, and the place is completely quiet except for the occasional car honk that comes in through the glass windows from outside.

My eyes focus on my reflection in the window. I feel lost, and I have no idea what I'm still doing here.

Except that he had asked me to stay.

My entire being had gone into a riot when he said it, my mind screaming no while my heart desperately wanted to do whatever it was that he asked. I had stood there in front of him for I don't know how long, not knowing what to say. He had closed his hand over mine and looked straight at me while his eyes said it again. Stay.

So I had, against my better judgment, while part of me waited in anticipation for what would happen, hoping, and the other part braced itself for the disappointment and heartbreak that I was half-sure I would end up with.

What am I expecting him to say, anyway? He had given no indication that he wanted to discuss anything serious with me, merely asked me to stay awhile and promised that he would drive me home.

Maybe it's his apartment? Maybe he really hates it, and wants me to do a complete overhaul. Maybe he's going to fire me and hire someone else to redo the place, but he couldn't do it while everyone else was here out of consideration.

My sardonic laugh fills the empty apartment. What am I doing here?

Feeling foolish, I grab my purse and walk to the hall closet for my coat. But the door opens and Pacey comes in.

I stop in my tracks and look at him, my lower lip between my teeth.

"You're leaving?" He asks, his expression carefully blank.

"I think I should." My palms become damp, my heartbeat steadily accelerating.

He shuts the door quietly behind him and looks at the floor. "I…" he hesitates and shakes his head, then looks at me and tries again. "I'm sorry for not being able to spend too much time with you and Jen tonight."

I shrug. "Don't worry about it. We understand."

Pacey fixes his eyes on a point somewhere to my right and goes on thoughtfully. "I'm glad Mike saw you come in and introduced you to everyone."

I stare at him, looking a little vulnerable, and my heart constricts achingly. A long time ago, he had looked this exact same way. I take a slow, deep breath and smile brightly at him. "It was a great party, Pace. Your friends are great."

He laughs shortly and walks to the window, me turning around in my spot to follow him with my eyes. "They are." He agrees and stares outside, head bent.

A lump begins to form in my throat, threatening to make me loose control completely. My heart hurts so much I can hardly breathe. "Listen, Pacey, I'll leave this here, okay?" I take his key and move to place it on the coffee table, desperate to take my leave. "I mean, I'm sure you're going to need a spare one of these days…" I try to laugh casually but my voice ends up breaking.

Oh, God. My teeth bite down hard on my lower lip 'til it nearly begins to bleed. I almost suggested that he give it to Vanessa. I close my eyes tightly, mortified, wishing that I had the courage to start walking to the door.

Pacey lifts his head but doesn't turn around. "You're the only one that I've given a key, Joey. I'd like for you to keep it."

I can only stare at him while my mind goes completely blank.

"Jo…" he says, his voice ragged as he turns to face me. "I'm sorry."

"What?" I ask, sounding strangely high-pitched.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Vanessa. The elevator, tonight, all of it. She was mad at me, and she shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"She was mad at you?" It comes out slightly above a whisper, not quite sounding like a question. Everything that was happening is coming at me in such a blur that I hardly have enough time to think everything through, or to completely comprehend what exactly he was saying.

Pacey smiles ruefully. "She said she hopes that 'the woman I want would dump me so fast my head will spin.'" He looks at me intently for a few long seconds before continuing softly. "She knew who I really wanted."

My breathing becomes shallow. I can't take my eyes off him. In the next second I find myself walking toward him on unsteady legs, one foot stepping in front of the other even while the emotions warring within me cause me to feel lightheaded, my heartbeat thudding loudly in my ears. My eyes are locked with his, the blue of his eyes darkening as I get nearer and nearer on feet that are no longer my own.

I stop in front of him, a combination of tearful exhilaration and questioning disbelief. I am positive that he can hear the maddened slamming of my heart against my ribs, the uneven breaths I manage to drag into my lungs.

I've hardly taken another breath when his fingers tangle in my hair, loosening the twist as he takes my mouth with his, my lips opening willingly to accept the invasion of his tongue and stroke against it with my own.

My hands drift up around his neck and I press closer to the firmness of his chest, all thoughts of fear, of repercussions, of consequences melting away from my mind. All I can feel, all I can think of is right here and right now. All I want is to have him with me, feel him touch me, even if it's just for now. Just in this moment.

"I've been wanting to do this since I saw you at the door, talking to Mike." Pacey whispers.

His mouth opens on mine as his arms pull me tightly against his hardening body, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth while his hands begin to touch me everywhere.

He reaches up to pull out the pins that hold up my hair, watching as the long dark strands cascade down and fall loosely around my shoulders. He cradles the sides of my head gently with his hands while he kisses me again, deeper and more demanding.

My shaking hands travel up his taut abdomen to his chest, settling on the small buttons of his shirt. He pulls the hem of my blouse up over my head and drops it into a small, silk puddle on the floor.

He nuzzles my ear and trails a moist path down my neck while he guides us into the master bedroom, discarded articles of clothing littering the brand new floors of his apartment.

My breath catches when skin finally touches skin, my whole body alight and hot with a thousand tiny sparks of electricity. He leans over me in his bed, his mouth tracing maddening circles around my breasts until the nipples are two hard peaks straining against him, begging to be touched.

Pacey trails soft, slow, wet kisses down to my stomach, his tongue dipping tantalizingly into my navel. Desperate to taste him again, I pull him up to kiss him roughly, taking charge this time. My teeth graze lightly over his lower lip as my hand floats down, my fingers skimming over the hot smoothness of his hard shaft.

A small chuckle comes out of his mouth and into mine as my hand begins an exploration, closing around him experimentally. He pulls away a little, our breaths still mingling, and looks at me with amused eyes, brows arched.

"Do I pass muster?"

Laughter tugs at my lips as I try hard to put a critical expression on my face. "Well…" I drag out the word, teasing him.

He grins naughtily. "You're an evil woman, Josephine Potter." He takes my hands and holds them down on either side of my head. He traces a moist path down my neck to my breasts, his tongue swirling lazily around each nipple until my back arches up to push against him.

A moan wrenches out of me when he reaches the curls between my legs and trails warm moisture on the insides of my thighs, kissing and licking at the tender skin before dipping in teasingly with his tongue. Something below my abdomen is aching, causing me to move restlessly underneath him, wanting more. Wanting everything.

"Pacey," the ragged whisper escapes from my lips, my hands gripping him tightly at his nape. "Now. Please." I've lost the ability to compose a comprehensible sentence, capable only of saying the words.

He looks at me with passion-clouded eyes the color of midnight and touches the sides of my face as he lowers his mouth for the gentlest, most agonizing kiss, at the same time thrusting deeply and surely into me, touching my soul and making me want to weep with the sheer beauty of it.

He holds me close and begins his rhythm, our hips parting and meeting in a maddening tempo over and over and over again, driving us toward the point where nothing else in the world exists, and no one else matters.

My stomach tightens, my whole body pulled taut, as he slides deeper and deeper inside me with every thrust, until finally I feel a burst of breathtaking, all-consuming pleasure, clenching around him as he pushes into me one last time before giving in himself, leaving our bodies limp and boneless. Content.