***

I'd been wandering aimlessly for two hours. I didn't feel like going back to the B&B and having to deal with Bessie's inevitable interrogation about everything that happened at the reunion, so I ended up just walking around Capeside, taking everything in.

I probably looked like a lunatic moping in my formal dress.

Andie's words stayed with me, along with an unshakeable feeling of regret. Pacey is gone. I don't know which hurts more - the way he had done it ten years ago, when he just started avoiding everyone and then seemed to disappear, or the way he was doing it now, by withdrawing into 'Nick Shafer' and shutting me out.

The Yacht Club comes into view again. I suppose I shouldn't have run off that way, when tonight was designed as an opportunity to talk to old friends again, heartache or no heartache. Jen and the others are probably celebrating Dawson's engagement by now, and I know that I should be there.

So with a clearer head and a slightly lighter heart from the long walk and fresh air, a brief glance at my watch to check the time and a muttered prayer that the slideshow is over, I square my shoulders and step back inside.

The first person that I run into on my way to the ballroom turns out to be Alyssa, walking with swift steps and almost literally bumping into me. "Oh!" She exclaims in surprise, then smiles. "Joey. Sorry. I was on my way to the ladies' room. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, actually." I smile back. "Are you bored to death yet?" I ask conspiratorially, tilting my head toward the reunion.

She grins and tucks a loose strand of long dark hair behind one ear, and it registers for the first time how genuinely pretty she is. "No, it's great. I'm really having fun. Everyone's been so nice - they've been telling me stories about when you guys were in high school, to Dawson's dismay! And your friend, he just arrived… oh, god, I don't know if I remember his name correctly… the tall one? With dark hair? He's so funny. I thought I'd die laughing!"

My eyebrows wrinkle with uncertainty. "Jack?"

Alyssa shakes her head. "No. P-something. Blue eyes…"

The small purse in my hand nearly falls to the floor. "Pacey?" I ask weakly, the name taking all the air in my lungs together with it.

She nods vigorously. "That's it! I wasn't sure if I heard it right."

The smile on my face has become completely frozen, Alyssa's words washing over me unintelligibly as she excuses herself to go to the ladies' room. I feel oddly light-headed, as if in danger of suddenly collapsing on the spot. I take the mere two steps necessary for me to be able to see into the open doors of the ballroom, fighting to take in oxygen as I see him standing there surrounded by people and laughing.

It's really him. Looking much like Nicholas Shafer, confident and sophisticated in his perfectly fitted tux, matured well by time and success. And I don't think he's ever looked more like a stranger to me than he does now.

Laughing blue eyes catch me watching him and I turn on my heel as quickly as I can. He's hurt me already. I refuse to be humiliated any more by the sight of him acting as if nothing was wrong. I don't think I can take it if he does that with Vanessa by his side.

My legs move as fast as they can over the thickly carpeted floor. My mind is racing and I have no clear idea where I'm headed, but I know that I have to keep going because I don't know what I'd do if he catches up with me.

"Joey!" His warm grip closes around my wrist, stopping my hasty escape and making me face him in an empty corridor somewhere between Capeside Yacht Club's lobby and function rooms. "Would you please stop for a minute?"

I stand in front of him and say nothing, looking at him stonily and praying to God that I can keep the tears at bay.

He just looks at me for a few long and agonizing seconds, his blue eyes so confused I have to bite down hard on my lower lip to keep from taking him in my arms. "Jen said you left."

"Sorry to disappoint you." I have to force the words out through the huge, aching lump that's formed in my throat.

"No, I -" He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "That's not what I meant. I just thought… I didn't know you were leaving New York; the day that I saw you in my building."

He wanted me to stop so that we could talk about when I left New York? I don't know what to say, and he speaks again after glancing away and laughing ruefully.

"I was sitting at my desk at work today, reading the same paragraph over and over, and… I don't even know what made me come here tonight. I just stuffed a few shirts into a suitcase and got on the first train I could find without really thinking, and the next thing I knew, here I was, fielding questions about where I've been hiding for the past ten years when all I wanted was…" Pacey keeps talking while avoiding my gaze, his words tumbling out of his mouth so quickly that he doesn't even seem to be stopping for breath.

"All I wanted was to see you."

The whispered words cause the scalding wetness to flood into my eyes and I have to close them tight so that the tears won't fall. I shake my head over and over, denying the way my heart feels like it's going to explode from my chest, still afraid to believe him.

"Joey," he says brokenly, his hands coming up to touch my shoulders and shrinking back when I continue to shake my head, folding my arms in front of me and hugging my own waist.

"You told me it was nothing." The accusation wrenches out of my throat. "You said it didn't mean anything." I will my legs to turn and walk away, reminding myself of everything he'd said when I went to his office.

"Jo, please," he stops me again, his hand closing briefly around my arm to get me to stay. "Please listen to me."

"You can't do this to me, Pacey," I manage to choke out. "I was practically begging you the day that I went to your office…" my words become choppy from trying hard not to cry. "I asked you to forgive me, and you… you said…" that sends me over the edge, hot tears flooding freely down my face.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His voice is rough with the emotion he was still trying valiantly to keep in check. "You were so unbelievable, and perfect, and everything I'd worked so hard to forget that I couldn't stay away even when everything inside me was sure that everything that happened ten years ago would happen all over again. It felt so incredible when you stayed after the party at my apartment that the next morning I couldn't see straight, but I thought I could finally breathe. I thought I finally had you." His eyes are a dark shade of wet blue, looking at me earnestly and asking me to believe him.

"Everything came crashing back when I heard Dawson on your machine." He runs his fingers through his hair. "And I was so afraid to go through it all again. I couldn't. So I did what I've learned to do whenever someone starts to get too close."

My heart clenches as I remember what Andie had told me.

"I said it meant nothing, Jo, but I was lying. It meant everything, and it scared me. And I couldn't do anything after that. You've made me completely unable to function, and I haven't been able to do a shred of work since the day you told me to go to hell." His voice has dropped to an aching, wretched whisper. "I couldn't even carry a single conversation without mentioning your name, and I knew I had to stop kidding myself. I just needed to see you again. Even if it meant having to come back to Capeside. Even if you're probably going to tell me to go to hell again… I wouldn't blame you. I've been a complete and total ass…"

Oh, god. How could I keep myself from throwing myself against him? My heart was close to bursting the second his arms closed tightly around me, the tears spilling over as my eyes close shut against his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Jo," Pacey whispers fiercely against my hair, his heart beating loudly in my ear. "I'm so sorry."

I have to take several deep breaths to keep from sobbing uncontrollably. My throat feels painful from all the tears still welling inside, my shoulders quaking in his protective embrace. "I was hoping you would come." My admission is muffled against his shirt.

His arms tighten around me, his lips brushing against my forehead. "I had to." I can feel his smile against my skin as he sighs. "I don't think I've ever stopped being in love with you, Potter."

He sounds resigned. And pure, undiluted joy bursts through me, in spite of the tears still brimming in my eyes.