- take shopping trollies for the express purpose of filling them and leaving them at strategic locations
-ride those little baby cars at the front of the store
-set all the alarm clocks in the store to go off at 10 minute intervals throughout the day
-start playing football and see how many people you can get to join
-contaminate the entire homeware department by sampling all the air fresheners
-challenge other customers to duals with tubes of wrapping paper
-leave cryptic messages on the type writers
-redress the manequins as you see fit
-walk really slowly when you're infront of people, especially in thin aisles.
-change all the radios to heavy metal stations, then turn them off and put the volume on full.
-play with the automatic doors
-walk up to a complete stranger and say "I havent seen you in ages!" etc etc. see if they play along.
-see how long you can talk to the shop assistants for before they walk away.
-when walking through the clothing department, say very loudly for all to hear "who buys this crap anyway?"
-ride a display bicycle through the store. say you are talking it for a test ride.
-follow people through the store, staying about 5 feet behing them at all times. continue until they leave.
-as the cashier runs yout purchase through the scanner, look mesmerized and say "ooo magic!"
-take off your shoes and try to return them. when the assistant tells you that you didnt buy them here, say "hmmmmmm i thought the customer was always right!"
-move "caution: wet floor" signs to carpeted areas, or try to buy them.
-set up tent in the camping department. tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring towels from bed and bath.
-test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles
-ask other customers if they have any grey poupon.
-drape a blanket over your shoulders, and run about saying "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
-toilet paper as much of the store as possible.
-through things randomly into neighbouring aisles.
-play with the calculaters so they all say "hello" upside down.
-when an assistant asks you if you need help, start crying and say "why dont you people just leave me alone?"
-when an assistant grins at you manically, look mad and depand "wot you lookin at eh?"
-when 2 or 3 people are walking infront of you, run between them yelling "red rover!"
-make up nonsense products (eg Shnerples) and ask employees if they have any in stock.
-sit on the floor in the toy department and start sobbing loudly coz you dont have enough money for a Baby Born doll.
-test the brushes and combs in cosmetics
-give a male friend a make over in the make up department
-while handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask where the anti-depressants are. act as spastic as possible.
-hold indoor shopping trolley races
-dart around suspiciously humming the Mission Impossible theme tune.
-attempt to fit into a very large gym bag.
-say things like "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Yum Yums."
-leave cornflakes in the garden sections, toilet brushes in the dairy section etc
-in the cooking utensil department, try out your Madonna look with various funnels.
-when someone steps away from his or her cart, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
-relax in the beds until you get kicked out.