Ahoy, fellow Pine Oaksians! You hold in your hands the very first Community Newsletter �Back to School� issue. Of course, this is only our third issue overall, so for awhile everything will be a �first.� Why just last week marked the first time I had to yell at our webmaster, Fred. �I want an archive,� I said, as calmly as can be. �That�s fine,� he responded. �How do you want it set up?� This raised my ire. Normally I keep my ire at acceptable levels, hidden in a drawer inside my lovely wife Andrea�s hope chest, where it�s safe from the world. But Fred forced me to find the key to that hope chest (no small feat � it was in our junk drawer underneath my good tongs and the 9 volt batteries), unlock it, press the hidden latch, take out my ire, and raise it to the proper level. But honestly, I�m sure you can understand my predicament. If I knew how I wanted to �set up� the newsletter archive, why would I hire a webmaster? Nevermind the fact that he�s volunteering on his own time to help put the newsletter online. Oh, I�m sorry I�m not as �hip� as you, Fred. We can�t all work from home and smoke pot all day, leaving the house only to pick up the mail and buy another box of Cheez-its. You work on the internet, you figure it out!
I�m sorry. I didn�t mean to get my ire up again. Perhaps next time I�ll hide the key somewhere I don�t usually look, like that one box in the basement from when we moved in, or my lovely wife Andrea�s underwear drawer. There are a few more issues I want to address before I let you go. First, I want to apologize to anyone who was offended by the Pine Oaks Seersucker Society�s banner during last month�s Founder�s Day parade. Due to an unfortunate typo, their slogan �Let�s Get POSS-y!� was misunderstood by some of you. While I heard that almost 60% of those in attendance were offended, given the low number of you who witnessed the parade, I�m sure this whole thing will blow over soon.
Second, since this is our �Back to School� issue I want to highlight the back to school savings going on right now at Stillman�s Hardware. We at Stillman�s know that this time of year can be financially taxing on families, what with all the new school supplies and clothes children need. So Stillman�s is doing our part by slashing prices on select items like: caulk; house paint from the red color spectrum; 3/8� and 2/7� screws; pre-cut plywood; irregular venetian blinds; electrical outlet covers; and halogen light bulbs. Remember � Stillman�s Hardware is your one-stop shop for back to school savings.
Third, for our �Back to School� extravaganza I wanted to come up with something special, so we�ve replaced the bland, dry, boring, tedious, uninteresting, insipid, stale, dull, dreary, lackluster, wearisome, ordinary, tiresome Board meeting minutes with a new feature called �Rt. 237 Fighting Spirit.� This is where you�ll go to find information about what�s going on at the high school (Go Fighting Van Burens!), written by the Senior Class President. I�m very excited about this new feature, and my apologies to our faithful Board Secretary Rosetta Davis, who was responsible for recording and publishing those minutes, and who is just finding this out as she reads this.
Finally, write to us! Have a question, complaint, backhanded compliment or smattering of faint praise? Just write to [email protected]. We�re eager to hear from you!
Jim Stillman
Fighting Spirit...p. 4
Neighborhood Watch...p. 4
Message from the President...FRONT
Pine Oaks Book Club...p. 3
Welcome Wagon...FRONT
This Month in Pine Oaks...FRONT
Young Person's Perspective...p. 5
[email protected]
July 2006
August 2006
PINE OAKS
September 2006
4 � Labor Day.
5 � Schools reopen.
8 � First Rt. 237 Fighting Van Burens football game vs. Nathan �Dave� Norton HS. George H. Candlemeyer Field, 7:30 p.m.
10 � Community pool closes.
12 � Pine Oaks Community Board Meeting. Residents are welcome to attend and bring any concerns to the board�s attention. Topics on this month�s agenda:
- Vote on streetlamp vendor
- Farmer�s market proposal
22 � Pine Oaks Movie Night. Come join your neighbors for a night of movies at the Pine Oaks Community Pool. This month�s movie is �Jumpin� Jack Flash.� Residents are not allowed in the pool. 8 p.m.
Hello again! It�s time for another edition of the Pine Oaks Welcome Wagon. Please say hello to the following new residents! I�m sure they won�t mind a friendly knock on the door.
Andrea Stillman
Welcome Wagon President
- While only one person moved into our fair community, I�m sure you�ll all give her the typical Pine Oaks welcome!
Andrea
Alicia Burrows; 1216 Carver Blvd., Apt. 104; Alicia comes to us from Alexandria, where she lived with her ex-husband. She works at a local Border�s.