Tower of cookies can't qualify as area's largest structure, commission rules

For the past four days, the Tallest Buildings Commission of Illinois has debated what is considered to be the strangest proposal ever put before the committee. Could a bizarre tower of 2,831 cookies be considered the largest structure in Illinois outside the city limits of Chicago?

According to official building records, the current title belongs to the Oakbrook Terrace Tower, an octagonal 31-story office building at Route 83 and Roosevelt Road in Oakbrook Terrace. It is 418 feet tall, standing on the site of the former Dispensa's Kiddie Kingdom and Castle of Toys since 1987.

A Lombard family that again shattered its Christmas baking record approached the commission Monday, saying it wanted to form a tower with its cookies to draw attention to the incredible feat. Last weekend, the group of girls baked nearly 400 goodies more than last year's 2,438. The 11 varieties in order of quantity were Peanut Butter Blossoms (496), Chocolate Chip (431), Spicy Oatmeal Raisin (292), Chocolate Peanut Butter (290), Butterscotch Drops (243), Choco-Mint Snappers (217), fudge (216), Snickerdoodles (181), Nutty Pretzel Bark (174), Strawberry Jam Shortbread Thumbprints (147) and Luscious Lemon Bars (144). Sugar cookies were abandoned Sunday night when the record was beaten and the three-hour "Survivor" finale aired.

If stacked one on top of another, the treats would stretch 177 feet into the air, falling significantly short of the Oakbrook Terrace Tower. But if the goodies were secured end-to-end into the sky, the structure would reach a height of 590 feet, easily surpassing any Illinois building outside Chicago. It would also be considered the tastiest structure in the world.

"Tasty or not, I don't see how a tower of cookies can be compared to architecturally superior steel and glass buildings," said a member of the Tallest Buildings Commission. "They're cookies, for God's sake. Wouldn't they blow over in a strong wind?"

Unfortunately for the family that made the odd proposal, the other members of the commission agreed after an extended debate. On Friday, the commission's ruling was announced: Great job on the cookies, ladies, but don't bother stacking them.

"Our final decision made good sense," said another member of the commission. "A massive cookie tower would not be structurally sound, and it would probably be devoured by the area's wildlife population within hours of completion."

The impressive baking extravaganza wasn't the only big activity the Lombard family participated in over the weekend. It was Week 15 of the world famous Sunday Football Picks, where Trevor topped everyone with an 11-3 record. Nicole's solid showing of 10-4 extended her first-place margin to three games over Mark and five games over Alicia and QT Pie.