Blagojevich arrested after allegedly offering Picks title to highest bidder

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested, handcuffed and hauled before a federal magistrate Tuesday morning for what U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald called a "corruption crime spree" that included attempts to sell the 2008 Sunday Football Picks title to the highest bidder. In a smaller offense, the governor also tried to put a price on the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.

Blagojevich was taken into custody by FBI agents at his home on the north side of Chicago one day shy of his 52nd birthday. He and his chief of staff were named in a federal criminal complaint that accused them of a wide-ranging criminal conspiracy aimed at providing benefits to the governor and his family. The pay-to-play Picks scheme could go down as the most appalling crime in Illinois history.

"I've always considered the Sunday Football Picks champion to be the greatest football mind anywhere," said NBC sportscaster Al Michaels. "A manipulated Picks title would be like discovering Joe Montana used steroids and stole playbooks."

Federal investigators confiscated several heaping plates of cookies allegedly baked by QT Pie just one week ago in hopes of climbing in the Picks standings. She is in fourth place after Week 14, trailing league-leading Nicole (121-63) by four games.

"Blagojevich has been pounding down fistfuls of cookies and urging the Picks Oversight Committee to tamper with the weekly results," said Robert Grant, special agent in charge of the FBI's Chicago office. "This honest family tradition of football picks has been going for nearly three decades, and we're not about to let him use his influence in such a reckless manner."

Other alleged offers that the governor has taken under consideration to falsify a Picks championship include a lifetime of free body shop repairs from Mark; an autographed football from Trevor, who says it will be worth a fortune some day; a personal hairstyling session from DJ, who knows the governor must dump that ridiculous haircut; free speech writing from Ali, who can really cruise on the keyboard now that she has a new computer; and autographed pictures of John Madden and Rachel McAdams from Blaine, even though Blaine is in the photos as well. Nicole offered the governor nothing, but that's because she's already in first place, and chuckling about it.

Despite facing a myriad of federal investigations throughout his five-year tenure, Blagojevich maintains he committed no wrongdoing. This was said, however, as he brushed cookie crumbs off his lips. It also appeared that Ali had written his public remarks because several times the governor used such lingo as LOL, JK and even BRB as he rushed to the restroom.