For personal and select distribution only � December 1997
by Pam Hunter

Sully sat naked on the end of the bed watching his tiny baby daughter asleep in the cradle he had made for her. He’d taken to doing this every morning in the eerie pre-dawn light created by the rising sun struggling to climb above the mountains in the distance, the time before night turns to day. He would rise from their bed, not bothering to dress - the early summer sun soon warming the room and dispelling the very slight chill in the air.

He watched as Katie gradually came more into focus with the increase in light - her chest rising and falling with her steady breathing, her hand balled into a fist under her chin, the light catching the pale fluff of hair on her scalp, the way her tiny mouth and nose twitched as if she was dreaming.

For three weeks he had marvelled over this beautiful being Michaela and he had created. He had been unprepared for the depth of his emotions, the need to protect, the need to hold and touch and watch, the need to be part of everything which effected her life. And those feelings weren’t confined to his new daughter. His wife, sleeping soundly behind him had engendered the same feelings.

He turned to look lovingly at Michaela. She was curled up on her side under the quilt, facing the window, the early morning light highlighting the copper streaks in her long, silky hair and accentuating the now fading, dark circles under her eyes. He had been worried about her. For the first week or so after Katie’s birth she had been tired and short tempered, even with Brian and Colleen who were very excited about Katie’s arrival. And with him she had been distant, totally preoccupied with caring for Katie.

The search for him when he went missing and was wounded and Katie’s birth out in the woods had taken a lot out of her. She had already been experiencing the heavy tiredness associated with the late stages of pregnancy. Then this had been replaced by the burdens of nurturing a newborn while expecting to regain her usual strength and vitality. The frequent waking in the night, the unaccustomed demands of nursing, the changes in her body and the way she saw herself, the never-ending chores which had to be done each day, no matter how tired she was, had all taken their toll. He did as much for her as possible, helping her in any way he could, and during the last few days it was noticeable that she was more herself. Also, the presence of her mother and sisters from Boston had, on the one hand been a comfort, while on the other, it had left her unable to relax and enjoy this unique time in their lives. Their return to Boston three days ago had made quite a difference to her outlook and manner. Much of her tenseness had eased.

He turned back to the cradle. Soon Katie would wake. He looked forward to this particular time, when he, Michaela and Katie would share a few moments of ‘solitude’ before the demands of the day took over. At this time Michaela, for just a little while, could forget her concerns about her medical clinic in town and the very young Dr Andrew Cook who was running it for her; and he could forget, or at least put to the back of his mind, his worry over Cloud Dancing - his friend’s whereabouts and whether he was being mistreated.

He yawned, took a deep breath, raised his arms over his head and stretched luxuriously, his well-defined back, neck and arm muscles straining. As if sensing the movement near her, Katie also began to rouse. The balled fist under her chin uncurled and the fingers straightened and stretched taut. Her neck arched and her head lolled back. Her eyelids flickered and closed, then flickered and opened. Her mouth pursed and then relaxed and then pursed again. She whimpered a little experimentally then uttered a louder sound, not quite a cry, more a demand. All this Sully watched in awe.

As her sounds threatened to become cries Sully reached into the cradle, peeled the blanket back and gently lifted his daughter into his arms. For a moment he revelled in her warmth and her baby smell, holding her against his chest and resting his chin on the top of her head then leaning down to kiss her cheek. She quietened momentarily, seeming to enjoy the protective hold and the feel of her father’s skin against her own. He rose and walked to the bench against the wall where he gently placed her on a rug to change her diaper. By the time he had finished she was grizzling again and ready for a feed.

Sully turned towards the bed to discover Michaela watching him - a shy smile on her face, her lip caught between her teeth, a light in her eyes which had been missing for a little while. He stilled momentarily.

"Mornin’," he said quietly. Her smile broadened, her gaze taking in the beauty and perfection of her husband and her daughter together, providing a startling contrast of size, build, colouring and strength.

Favouring his left leg somewhat, he walked slowly across the room, his eyes locking onto hers, Katie cradled lovingly in his arms. Michaela, her smile persisting, pulled herself up into a sitting position while Sully moved her pillow to support her back. She then reached out and took her daughter into the shelter of her arms. Sully leant in to give his wife a slow, sensual good morning kiss, his mouth opening and moving over hers encouraging a fervent response, his hand gently cupping her face. When he pulled back he held her gaze as he reached to run his thumb tenderly over her lips, full and warm from the kiss. Then he moved to the other side of the bed and slipped in next to them.

Michaela waited for him to settle beside her and then dipped her head to kiss their daughter’s cheek before undoing the buttons on the front of her nightgown. Sully watched as Katie instinctively turned her head towards her ma seeking relief from her hunger, familiar with her mother’s shape and smell. As Michaela lowered the left side of her gown Katie latched on to the nipple and began to nurse contentedly. Her suckling was accompanied by sighs and low humming sounds in her throat and her hand came up to rest on the side of Michaela’s swollen breast.

Sully couldn’t resist reaching out to lightly run the back of his fingers down Katie’s soft cheek and then he lightly laid his hand over hers resting on Michaela. Michaela looked up at him, a slow blush spreading across her skin. Sully knew that she was still self-conscious about her new more rounded, voluptuous shape but he thought it beautiful, he loved what motherhood had done to this woman he adored. He gave her his special smile and then leant across and kissed her cheek playfully before once again lowering his eyes to watch his daughter.

He and Michaela watched as their daughter drank her fill and as her hunger was gradually appeased she fought the drowsiness brought on by a full tummy. Her eyelids would flutter closed and the suckling would stop momentarily but a slight movement from Michaela would wake her enough to continue to nurse until sleep overcame her again. At last Michaela could no longer keep her awake and so she passed the precious bundle across to Sully who rested her against his chest and gently rubbed her back with the palm of his hand.

Michaela tiredly leant her head on Sully’s shoulder, reached out her hand to softly stroke her daughters arm, and then brought it back to do up the buttons on her nightgown.

His hand closed over hers. "Don’t …… please…..," he murmured quietly.

Her eyes rose to his face, the blush renewed, a question in her eyes.

"We can’t Sully ……. its too soon ….." she whispered shyly.

"I know," he said, looking into her eyes. "Trust me ……. please."

Her hands stilled and she leant closer to him, kissing him on the point of the shoulder. He laid Katie down on the quilt between their legs and then leant to undo the remainder of the buttons. He pulled back the quilt enough to reach the bottom of the gown and she shifted to allow him to pull it off over her head. Sully discarded her gown over the side of the bed, leant to lightly kiss the top of each breast and then they both snuggled down, skin against skin from knee to shoulder.

Sully raised himself to gently pick up their tiny daughter again and then laid her on her stomach on his chest, her head turned to face Michaela. They watched devotedly as she lay there sound asleep, her breathing deep and regular, occasionally emitting deep baby sighs, moving up and down with Sully’s chest as he breathed. His hand rose to lovingly caress her head and back.

"Do you think all new parents do this, watch every movement, listen to every sound, want to touch and hold, like we do?" asked Michaela with a smile.

"Sure, but we got lucky ….. got the most beautiful baby in the world, you and me," answered Sully with a chuckle. Then he looked at Michaela, his eyebrow arched as if asking a silent question. He turned back to gently untie the ribbons and remove Katie’s nightdress so that she was naked except for her diaper. She did not stir as he lay her back down on his chest, skin against skin as he and Michaela were laying.

Michaela reached out and rested her hand on her daughter’s back, her thumb stroking Katie’s soft skin. Then Michaela began to move sensuously against Sully, luxuriating in the feel of his skin against her own. She lifted her leg over his and began to softly rub Sully’s leg from knee to ankle with the arch of her foot. She had missed being with him like this and she hadn’t even realised it. Sully’s response was to slide his arm in under her and then pull her even closer so that mother and daughter were only inches apart. He gently stroked her arm and back, also revelling in the feel of her softness and bare skin. They lay together like that for a long time.

Watching Katie lying contentedly against Sully and her own hand stroking her daughter’s bare back Michaela suddenly said in wonder, "Look at the skin colours Sully ……. three shades …….. Katie’s pale and unblemished …… then me ……. I’m sort of in between …….. and yours is so tanned from the sun. I’ve never noticed that before."

"I hope her skin’s pale and soft like yours when she grows," he said, kissing his wife lightly on the top of her head. She made no comment. "You’re beautiful, you know," he said sincerely, as he placed his thumb under her chin to raise her eyes to his.

"Not at the moment," she said self-consciously, instinctively moving her hand to her breasts and then her stomach.

He watched her in some amusement, but realised that she really didn’t like her new and changing shape. He gently trailed his fingers down her arm to her hip and then forward to her still rounded stomach and then up to her breast which he tenderly caressed with his thumb. "*I* think you’re beautiful….. one of the two most beautiful women in my life." She looked up at him quizzically. "*You* and Katie here …….. the two most beautiful women in my life," he said with a chuckle.

She couldn’t help but smile delightedly and then reached up to draw his head down to hers. Their lips met and the kiss, which started out gently, deepened until both were gasping for breath.

"Thank-you Sully," she said with a heartfelt sigh of contentment. "For Katie, your love and your understanding …… and all the things you do for us …… I haven’t said it enough lately …. but I love you more than I could’ve ever dreamed possible."

In response his hold on her tightened and then he pressed a kiss to her forehead as if to say ‘You’re welcome’ and ‘Me too’.

After a moment he said quietly, "You’ve still got time for a sleep before breakfast." But when he looked down Michaela was already asleep, her hand resting on her daughter’s on Sully’s chest, her leg hooked over his, a half smile on her lips.

Sully looked from his tiny daughter to his beautiful wife and back again and decided that life couldn’t get any better than this. He held them to him until Michaela awoke again and they rose and joined Colleen and Brian to restart the new day.

THE END