For personal and select distribution only � November 1997
by Pam Hunter

I wondered about what might have made Michaela more ‘aware’ of Sully and Sully more considerate of Michaela’s needs between "Travelling All-Stars" (Episode 2, Season 4) and "Mothers and Daughters (Episode 3, Season 4). I’d like to think it went something like this ………..

Michaela could hear Sully moving around downstairs, locking the doors and extinguishing the lamps. She was already in bed but knew that she would not be able to fall asleep. This afternoon had been so exciting. Between them she and Sully had outsmarted Otis James, manager of the American All-Stars Baseball Team, at his own game, and the exhilaration of that feat lingered still. The town’s baseball team had actually beaten a professional travelling team! Everyone knew that the Colorado Springs team’s victory had nothing to do with skill, but that didn’t lessen the enjoyment of it at all. It had been Sully’s suggestion to use the fleet-footed Cloud Dancing as stand-in runner and it had been she who had realised how difficult it would be to hurl strikes at a batter as small as Brian. Even Colleen had joined in when the team needed her, something she had been reluctant to do of late. Together with the townspeople they had succeeded in doing something that nobody (especially Preston Lodge III) had ever thought possible!

After the long and joyous victory celebrations at Grace’s caf�, which had gone on well into the evening, the family had returned home, happily tired and unable to stop talking and laughing about the day’s events. Even the usually reticent Sully had wholeheartedly joined in the celebrations and laughed and chatted all the way home.

The children had reluctantly gone to bed a little while ago, falling asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows. But the excitement of today seemed to have stayed with Michaela somehow, leaving her feeling strangely exhilarated and now she found herself anticipating Sully joining her in their bedroom.

Their bedroom! It still seemed strange to her. They had been married for only a few weeks and there was so much to become accustomed to, so many feelings to explore, so much to learn about both Sully and herself. She knew that she had come a long way since their wedding night - she loved him so much and he was so patient with her - but she was still hesitant and a little shy about expressing her feelings or relaxing when he wanted to be with her. She blushed at the thought. Her mother had called it "doing her wifely duty" and certainly at first her doubts and inhibitions had caused her to view being with Sully in that way. But just lately, she was aware of strange, new feelings she didn’t understand, yearnings that she had been fighting hard to suppress.

Sometimes she would look at him and her heart would race. Of course this had happened almost from the first time she met him, but this feeling was different. Now, at the oddest times, she would look at him and want, or even need, to be alone with him. It had happened this evening in, of all places, the caf�. She’d been watching Jake, various townspeople and even a reluctant Preston, congratulate him on his efforts on the baseball field and she had fought an overwhelming desire to reach out and touch him or take him by the hand and lead him away somewhere so that they could be alone. She was embarrassed by these feelings. They made no sense to her at all. Neither her mother nor Dorothy had ever mentioned that this was part of loving and being with a man. And now, as she waited for him, her heart was racing again and she couldn’t stop the smile which was spreading across her face. What *would* Sully think of her if he knew?

At last she heard him begin to ascend the stairs. She listened as he opened Brian’s and then Colleen’s doors to check on them before retracing his steps to the door of their room. She loved this new ‘caring father’ side of Sully. She found herself holding her breath as he turned the doorknob and entered. She tried to control the silly grin on her face, and thought she had succeeded, but Sully’s smile and gentle kiss told her otherwise.

"I didn’t expect you to be in bed already," he said quietly, as he straightened up, holding her eyes with his. Sometimes she felt as if he could see right inside her, even read her thoughts and at the moment she’d rather he didn’t do that!

"Well … its late …. and …. and I thought I’d be tired …… but I’m not ……. maybe I’m ….. st….. still excited about this afternoon …… maybe," she stammered as she watched him remove his beads and pouch and hang them on the bedpost. He merely smiled his special smile he reserved only for her and walked across the room to the dresser. She found herself following him with her eyes, studying the way he moved, his expressions and gestures.

Then, as he pulled his shirt off over his head, Michaela noticed Sully wince in pain.

"Are you alright? You look like it hurt to do that," she queried in concern.

"Oh … its nuthin’ ….. I’m just a bit stiff from where I crashed into Otis and then hit home plate," he said, grinning at the memory.

Michaela rose from their bed and moved across to where he stood. "Where does it hurt?" she asked, adopting her doctor’s voice and manner.

"Don’ worry ‘bout it Michaela. A good night’s rest and I’ll be fine," he replied as he shrugged and moved towards the bed.

Michaela reached for him and gently rubbed her fingers across his bare shoulders and back, then down his right side to his waist. Sully shivered, though Michaela was unaware of the real reason. "You’ve got some grazes down your side," she said gently, shocked when she realised how much it mattered that he should not hurt. "I’ll be back in a moment." And she whirled around and left their room, heading downstairs, her long, copper-streaked hair swirling in a cloud around her shoulders and back.

In a very short space of time Michaela returned, her medical bag and a small bottle of a light coloured liquid in her hands. Sully had donned his nightshirt and was sitting on the side of the bed.

"You’ll need to take off your shirt so I can clean those grazes," said Michaela, trying to keep her voice steady. "Now lay face down on the bed."

Sully smiled to himself as he slowly pulled his nightshirt off over his head and lay down in the middle of the bed. All the while Michaela kept her eyes averted - three decades of restrictions and inhibitions silently telling her that she should not enjoy the sight of her husband naked in the lamplight. She dutifully pulled the covers up over him to the waist and then turned her attention to the grazes on his side. She tenderly applied a soothing cream to them while Sully secretly luxuriated in her touch. He turned his head to smile up at her, silently thanking her for her concern. She returned his smile and reached across to brush a lock of his long, sun-bleached hair from his face. As he lowered his head back onto the pillow his eyes alighted on the bottle she had brought with her from downstairs.

"What’s this?" he asked, picking it up from the night-stand, taking out the stopper and sniffing at the contents. "Mmmm, smells nice."

"It’s a ……… a ……… liniment …… or an oil ……….. sort of a cross between the two actually," explained Michaela. "I’ve been working on it since Cloud Dancing told me about the oils of some of the local plants and herbs. It’s got some of the ingredients of liniment but they’re mixed with some of those natural oils ……. smells much better and feels nicer on the skin …….. I’m not sure yet whether it will work as well as a liniment does though." She smiled at him shyly. "I thought it might feel good rubbed into your sore shoulders and back."

"Ya gonna test it on me?" Sully exclaimed in mock horror.

Michaela dropped her eyes from his, blushed and moved to take the bottle from him, always unsure of herself when Sully was being playful.

"I was jokin’ Michaela," he smiled. "Might feel real nice I reckon, long as *your* hands are rubbin’ it in."

If anything Michaela’s blush deepened and she hesitated, the bottle held in her hands.

"I’m sorry ……… please Michaela," Sully implored softly, not taking his eyes from her face.

She smiled then - she could never hold out against Sully’s charm. Sully wasn’t too sure of the reason for the smile, but he watched as she removed the bottle’s stopper and poured some of the light honey-coloured liquid into the palm of her hand. She then rubbed the oil into the other palm and brought her hands down to massage it into his shoulders.

At first, her hands were those of a doctor, kneading the muscles, massaging the oil into the stiffness. Then her movements began to subtly change. They became tender, gently stroking his neck, then his shoulders and moving slowly and sensuously down his back. Sully glanced surreptitiously over his shoulder at Michaela’s face. She appeared to be in a world of her own, a faraway look in her eyes. He doubted that she had yet realised the way in which her ministrations had changed. He decided to close his eyes and enjoy the sensation though he was unsure as to how long he’d be able to lay still and not respond!

Thinking that Sully had fallen asleep, Michaela stopped the gentle massaging, but her hands remained on his back, just momentarily still. The lamplight made his skin gleam where she had oiled it and she could not help reaching out to touch, to explore. Her fingers began to tenderly trace the outline of his body, defining the muscles, beginning at the neck and moving ever so slowly down, her fingers like butterflies on his skin. As she reached his waist and the covers that were providing a barrier to the lower half of his body, her hands again stilled as she debated whether to go any further. Her need to know Sully better overcame her doubts so she slowly and gently slipped the covers down and continued her explorations using just her fingertips. Now Sully was certain he would not be able to stay still. He groaned softly and writhed luxuriously against her hands, then opened his eyes to peer up at her. She immediately withdrew her hands in embarrassment and turned her head away from him, biting her lip between her teeth. He watched as conflicting emotions flashed across her beautiful face and a slow blush suffused her skin. "Uh ….. I thought you’d fallen asleep," she murmured as she moved to place the bottle back on the night-stand.

"I wasn’t sleepin’ …… but I sure thought I was dreamin’," he whispered (making a promise to himself to burn that nightshirt - if this was the way Michaela liked him that was fine with him!). Now *he* was the one who was unsure of what to do. Should he wait to see what *she* would do? Or should he turn over? Though then Michaela would be made fully aware of the effect she’d had on him.

The decision was quickly made for him. Michaela had already placed the stoppered bottle down and was beginning to stand up.

"Uh …. Michaela ……please ……. the muscles in my shoulders at the front could do with some of that attention too," he entreated her, as he slowly turned over onto his back, wondering how she would react. Her breath caught as she immediately perceived his ‘state’, but this time she did not turn away. She settled back down on the bed, smiled shyly at him and reached again for the bottle, wanting to prolong the gentle touching, wanting to show him in this simple way how much she loved him.

Several minutes of similar massaging and then stroking of his shoulders and chest did little to relieve Sully’s ‘condition’ but he kept as still as possible, letting her move at her own pace. He had certainly never experienced anything as ‘excitin’’ as this before. When he could stay still no longer he slowly sat up, gently placed his hands on her shoulders and drew her to him for a long, deep, leisurely kiss to which she responded without hesitation or inhibition. She leaned eagerly towards him and her eyes closed as he tantalised her senses.

As they pulled apart, their breathing slowly returning to something akin to normal, Sully cupped her face with his hands, lovingly stroked her closed eyelids, cheeks and mouth with his thumbs and then said softly, "Now its your turn."

Her eyes flew open and looked into his nervously.

"You took a tumble, slidin’ into first base in that game today," he explained quietly. "Ya must have some sore muscles too." As he spoke he could not stop himself from tenderly running his hands down her arms to her waist. Then he reached for the hem of her nightgown which he slowly lifted off over her head. She did not try to stop him, moving instead to make the task easier to accomplish. "Now lie face down on the bed," he instructed her, in what he hoped was a fair imitation of her earlier manner. She did as he asked, willing herself to relax. He reached for the bottle and poured a liberal amount of oil into the palm of his hand.

As *she* had done, he began to rub the muscles in her neck, shoulders and back, gradually changing to a gentler, more sensuous massaging. Her mind suddenly filled with a memory of time past when Sully had washed her back and shoulders out in the woods. Her senses were stirring as they had then, delighting in being cherished by a man.

Sully could feel that she was tense at first, but as he continued that tension gradually eased and she relaxed, even occasionally unconsciously moving back against his hands. After a while he gently turned her over onto her back and again her nervousness returned, not only because of what he might be going to do, but also because of her total nakedness to his gaze. She remembered how she had been stirred by the sight of Sully lying like this in the lamplight. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, again willing herself to relax and appreciate the feelings her husband was engendering.

Never had Michaela’s vulnerability appealed to Sully more as he watched her trying to control her emotions and response.

As he continued the stroking of her shoulders and neck and then began to slowly trail his fingertips down the valley between her breasts to her flat stomach her nervousness did indeed recede but it was replaced with a sensation with which she was totally unfamiliar. It felt like a fire, heating her blood, making her pulse race and her stomach clench. She moaned and suddenly grasped Sully’s hands in her own, needing to still them and hold them against herself. Her breath was coming in short gasps and her eyes remained closed - she was almost afraid at what Sully might see in them if she was to open them to look up at him. He leant forward and his mouth came down to open and move tenderly and then urgently over hers. Her arms automatically came up to encircle his oiled shoulders, pulling him down against her own oiled skin, adding a new dimension and feeling to this sensual exploration. She responded to his kiss and embrace as she never had before, with moans and sighs and murmurings - she could not help herself - and her body opened up to him. She barely noticed as he entered her. He moved rhythmically over her, the urgency gradually building, raising her to heights she had never experienced before - had never even known existed - before she spiralled out of control, calling his name as their release came.

The scent of herbal oil heated by their passion hung heavily in the air. In the afterglow of their loving, as their breathing gradually slowed, they remained wrapped in each other’s arms, while Michaela’s thoughts whirled as she tried desperately to make some sense of what had just happened and of her unimagined response to it.

Slowly Sully rolled to his side, keeping her clasped to him, her head coming to rest on his chest, her body still occasionally quivering in his arms. He reached down and pulled the bed covers up over them and they lay together like that for a long moment, each able to feel the pounding of the other’s heart and each other’s heavy breathing against their skin. Sully leant down to tenderly kiss the top of her head, then held her hand against his lips. He needed to thank her for what she had just given him - for the first time she had given totally of herself, unconditionally; nothing had been held back, no part of herself had been kept hidden from him.

He gently rested his thumb under her chin to raise her lips and eyes to his, so that he could show her how much he loved her and what had just happened between them. But he met resistance. She held her neck rigid and kept her eyes lowered as she attempted to control her thoughts and feelings, coming back to reality and her usual doubts and inhibitions with a rush.

A frown creased Sully’s brow.

"Michaela?"

Her head dropped lower on his chest.

"Michaela? Look at me …… please," he beseeched, gently stroking her back and arm.

She still did not raise her head. Sully was puzzled. She had certainly not withdrawn from him physically; she still rested against him, unconsciously stroking his chest with her fingertips. Why wouldn’t she look at him?

He tried again. "Michaela ……. tell me ……."

There was a long silence and then she whispered in a voice he could barely hear, "I’m sorry."

Sorry? He thought he was prepared for anything she might say, but ‘sorry’ was something he certainly hadn’t expected to hear. He asked gently, "sorry? …… sorry for what?"

"For ……… for ………. just now ……. for being like that ……… I ……. I can’t believe I acted like I did …….. I’m sorry ……" she stammered, embarrassed by her behaviour and lack of control.

In a long drawn out loving sigh he whispered her name, "Michaela!". Sully felt as if his heart would break and burst all at the same time. He once again rested his thumb under her chin and this time succeeded in raising her eyes to meet his. With all the intensity and sincerity he could possibly muster he answered her. "Sorry?! Michaela ….. a man dreams of havin’ a woman act with him like you did just now. Heck *I’ve* dreamed of bein’ with *you* like that! But it don’ often happen ……. to have someone love ya ‘n trust ya enough to let go like you did just now …. givin’ yourself freely ….. pleasurin’ me as much as you just did …….. lettin’ me love you like *I* just did. *Michaela!!!*" Once again his heart was pounding.

Michaela was watching him in awe. "Its …….. its …….. alright?"

"Uh huh."

"But the touching ……… the sounds …… the cries …… what if Brian or Colleen heard us? I ….. I forgot where I was ….. except for being with you."

"Michaela …. its all part of bein’ with someone …… of lovin’ someone ……… Right now I love you more’n I could ever tell ya or show ya, cos tonight you gave yourself to me an’ I aint ever gonna forget it, long as I live." He smiled into her eyes and kissed her tenderly. "Course, some more lovin’ like tonight’ll help keep the memory alive," he chuckled, and then added as an aside, "And I’m sure Brian and Colleen didn’t hear anythin’ cos I made these walls good and thick."

Michaela blushed but her hold on Sully tightened and she whispered, "Thank-you ……. you must wonder what you’ve got yourself into sometimes, marrying me …." Now it was her turn to smile. She lifted herself up to kiss his lips lovingly and then tried to explain in a halting voice full of wonder, "I never imagined that I could feel like that ….. love you like that ……. love being with you like that." Her eyes and voice lowered again with the last, her embarrassment and inhibitions not entirely overcome, then she added softly and somewhat mysteriously, "maybe next time I’ll listen to my heart, rather than ….. than …… my family or friends." With that she raised her eyes once more to his, gave him one last tender, leisurely kiss which promised much for the future and snuggled down against him to sleep.

Before sleep overtook her, Michaela was stirred by another memory of Sully. She saw herself standing in the clinic about a year ago and he was explaining to her that it was time that Brian was told about ‘the birds and the bees’. As clear as if it were yesterday she heard him say, "Isn’ it time he knew what happens between a man and a woman when they fall in love an’ get married ….. ‘bout kissin’ …….. snugglin’?" When she’d said that she could tell Brian, Sully had kissed her and said quietly, "Not everythin’ ya need to know comes from a book." She hadn’t known what to say to that and he’d turned and left. She smiled to herself and took a deep breath. She certainly understood what he meant now!

Sully looked down at Michaela in wonder. He might never understand her, but it was sure gonna be fun tryin’! He sighed softly, kissed the top of her head, pulled her a little closer and more comfortably against his side and then drifted off into a dream world of beautiful women with long coppery hair, gleaming skin and gentle hands.

THE END