For personal and select distribution only � July 1997
by Pam Hunter

Sully strode purposefully towards Grace’s. When he had stopped by the clinic Colleen had told him that Michaela was having lunch at the caf�. He had decided that now was the time to discuss a number of matters with her, but he had his mind set on two in particular.

Half the town must have been in the caf� that day; there was a buzz of talk and laughter and he could see Loren, Preston and Jake entertaining a well dressed stranger.

As he approached he spied Michaela sitting with her back to him, her beautiful long copper hair tied back in a thick braid falling to her waist. She was leaning forward in conversation with someone whom Sully could not yet see. As he neared and moved to his left to join Michaela he realised that it was Dorothy she was talking to - rather earnestly in fact. They were deep in conversation, each oblivious to his approach, their conversation broken by smiles and nods of understanding.

Well, he thought, that was one of the matters he had wanted to discuss with Michaela crossed off his list without him having to say a word! He had been worried about, and a little disappointed with, Michaela’s reaction to her best friend’s most recent accomplishment - her book "My Town". Certainly, Dorothy had included, as part of her story about present day Colorado Springs, things about Michaela’s (and his) personal life that might have been better left unsaid, but Michaela’s response had been to turn her back on her friend - something that Sully could not support or even understand.

He hesitated, wondering whether to interrupt them, and then decided that discussion of the other matter could wait until this evening; in fact it might even be better to leave the matter until the children had gone to bed and they were alone in their own room. The publication of Dorothy’s book had given him the ideal opportunity to bring up a subject he had wanted to discuss with Michaela for a long time although he knew that she would be reluctant to talk about it.

He silently watched the two women talking and then turned and went back to the livery - he would go out to the Palmer Creek reservation this afternoon and then raise the matter with Michaela this evening.

………………………………………………

A stiff wind had built up during the past hour and Sully turned his collar up and hunched down into his buckskin jacket as he rode back towards the homestead. He glanced up at the mountains - huge black clouds were building up heralding a fierce storm. He was glad that he was only a few more minutes from home. It had been difficult at the reservation today with the warring between the tribes only seeming to get worse and he was looking forward to happy laughter and hearing of the day’s happenings from his family.

"Hey Sully…………. looks like a storm’s buildin’," said Brian as he entered the house. The smiles from his children, the warmth from the fire and the aroma of stew cooking were very welcome after the day he had had and the weather outside. Brian was seated at the kitchen table doing his homework and Colleen was busily cooking supper by the wood-fire stove.

"Hey Brian, Colleen ……. where’s ya ma?" asked Sully as he removed his coat, shook it and hung it on the coat hook near the door.

"She’s not back from the clinic yet. I know she had a late appointment with Mr Walker. She shouldn’t be long," answered Colleen looking up from the pot she was stirring.

"Supper smells good Colleen ……. hope ya ma gits back before that storm hits, looks like its gonna be a big’un," commented Sully looking worriedly out the window.

At that moment there was a startling flash of lightning which lit up the room like a summer’s day, followed by a tremendous clap of thunder. All three of them jumped and then looked at each other sheepishly. Sully returned to the window to watch for Michaela hoping to see her ride up to the homestead before the worst hit.

Sully’s anxiety grew in line with the increase in storm activity outside. The thunder and lightning became more frequent and then the rain came - huge drops which thundered on the homestead roof. Not able to contain himself any longer he turned to Colleen and Brian. "I think I’ll just go ‘n meet ya ma ‘n take her heavy coat. She’ll be soaked if she’s on her way home. If she’s not we’ll stay at the clinic ‘til the storm’s over - alright?" Both Brian and Colleen grinned and nodded. They knew that he was more worried than he let on but they were sure that their ma would be fine, after all she’d been through plenty of storms since coming to Colorado Springs.

Sully found it difficult to see more than a few feet in front of him as the rain drove into his face soaking him to the skin within seconds. It was impossible to ride at a gallop, the slippery road and the wind making the going too treacherous. Sully sighed with relief as only a few hundred yards from home he spied a horse coming towards him. That relief suddenly turned to despair as he realised that the horse was Flash and that Michaela was not in the saddle. He called to the horse, caught the bridle in his hands as it came alongside and then carefully continued on towards town watching the road for any signs of her. A little further on a flash of colour caught Sully’s eye - a rain soaked bundle on the side of the road - Michaela!

Sully urgently nudged his reluctant horse into a trot and then pulled up abruptly beside the crumpled heap that was his wife. She was lying motionless on the ground, slightly on her side, her eyes closed, drenched to the skin. Sliding to the ground he stooped and reached for her hand dreading what he might discover.

But he felt a pulse and her breathing was shallow but steady! "Michaela …… Michaela …… its me …….. Sully," he pleaded as he rubbed her hand and shook her slightly - there was no response. Turning her carefully onto her back he saw that one side of her face was covered in blood which was spreading down on to her clothes and the ground as it was diluted by the rain. He stood and gave each horse a sharp slap to the rump, sending them on their way home, and then gently picked Michaela up from the muddy ground, turned her face in towards his chest and set off to cover as quickly as possible the few hundred yards to the homestead.

Colleen and Brian met him anxiously at the door. They had seen the horses enter the yard and realised immediately that something was wrong.

"Sully, what’s happened? What’s wrong with ma?" exclaimed Colleen as Sully carried Michaela into the living-room.

"Brian, run out and git your ma’s bag off Flash’s saddle" said Sully. "She’s fallen ‘n hit her head Colleen. I don’ know yet whether anything’ else is wrong with her." He gently placed his love on the dining-room table and eased off her wet and muddy coat. His bloodied and soaked coat and shirt quickly joined hers on the floor. Colleen moved to her ma’s side to examine her damaged face with shaking fingers. A slam of the front door signalled Brian’s return with Dr Mike’s medical bag.

"We need to clean this blood and dirt away to see what’s really wrong," said Colleen worriedly. "Brian, bring me a bowl of warm water, not too hot, and some clean cloths." As she spoke Sully removed Michaela’s boots and then rubbed her feet and hands, trying to warm them up - they felt so icy cold. Brian brought the water and cloths and hovered anxiously across from Colleen as she gently washed away the stains from their ma’s face. It soon became obvious that she had sustained a blow to the area just above her temple. She had a small but deep gash over her eyebrow and a large purple bruise and lump already forming between the eyebrow and her hairline. Neither Sully nor Colleen could find anything else wrong. Colleen worked quickly to stem the flow of blood from the gash.

"She musta hit her head on a rock or something when she fell Sully. Maybe its only a concussion," said Colleen hopefully, "and I think we should take her upstairs and git her out of these wet clothes. Maybe by then she’ll have come to." Sully felt as if he was the one who had sustained the blow. If anything was to happen to Michaela now, when they had only just begun their life together, when he was the happiest he’d ever been, he didn’t know what he would do, he didn’t want to even think of something so horrifying ……….

Colleen dashed upstairs and turned back the covers on her ma and Sully’s bed. Sully followed her, the unconscious Michaela held ever so gently in his arms.

"Colleen, will you undo her skirt while I hold her," he asked. Colleen did as she was asked and then gently eased the wet and muddy skirt down. Sully placed her on the edge of the bed and then began to unfasten the remainder of her clothing.

He suddenly became aware that both Colleen and Brian were hovering in the doorway watching worriedly. "Colleen, I could sure do with some of your great coffee," he said, "and Brian, the horses need beddin’ down and we’re gonna need to git the fire started in ‘ere. Can ya fetch some of the dry wood from downstairs?" Both Colleen and Brian realised what Sully really meant and quickly left to do the tasks they had been set.

A range of emotions swept over Sully as he tenderly removed Michaela’s sodden clothing. He immediately went back nearly four years to not long after Michaela’s arrival in Colorado Springs. After battling an epidemic of influenza in the town Michaela had succumbed to it herself and he had tended to her when no-one else was able. He had helped her then and he would do so now - everything within his power.

When Michaela’s clothing was finally a sodden heap on the floor beside the bed he stilled momentarily as fear overcame him. His eyes filled with tears which then flowed silently down his cheeks. He took some deep breaths and hastily brushed the tears away - it wouldn’t do to have the children see him like this. He gently traced with his fingers a large, dark bruise which was forming on her hip - she looked so tiny and pale against the white bed sheets, except for those ugly purple bruises. He shook himself, turned and removed a nightgown from the dresser behind him, gently eased her into it and then lifted her over more to the centre of the bed. Sitting beside her he rubbed her feet and hands again, drew the blankets up over her and sat softly stroking the side of her face which had not been hurt.

"Sully, I got the wood like you wanted. Can I come in?" asked Brian quietly from the doorway.

Sully took a deep breath to compose himself and then, trying desperately to control the quaver in his voice, replied. "Of course Brian. We need to get some warmth in ‘ere. Ya ma’s still real cold. Put the wood down and I’ll git the fire goin’."

"Let …. let me do it Sully please …….. you stay there …… with ma," said Brian, a slight nervous stammer to his voice.

Realising that Brian wanted to keep busy but still be close to his ma Sully nodded, "fine, you do that, but before ya start could ya fetch me some towels - I need ta git ya ma’s hair dry."

"I’ll git ‘em Sully," said Colleen who was just coming in the door with coffee and a sandwich on a tray. She put the tray on the night stand next to the bed and went quickly back downstairs.

Brian busied himself setting the fire, often turning to look over at his ma. "do ya think she’ll be alright Sully," he asked quietly. He sounded like a frightened little boy who had seen far too many troubles in his short life.

"Course she will Brian, she’s just had a bump on the head," said Sully in a voice which sounded much more confident than he was feeling. Colleen returned with the towels and while Sully held Michaela Colleen loosened her ma’s braid and towelled her long hair dry. Holding her lovingly against his heart Sully could feel that she was starting to warm up now and when her hair was as dry as he and Colleen could get it he gently layed her down again under the blankets.

Meanwhile Brian had successfully lit the fire and gone downstairs for some more wood. As he re-entered the room he again looked worriedly across at his ma. Not looking where he was going, he bumped into the rocking chair in front of the fire dislodging a large piece of wood from his arms which fell with a loud clatter to the floor. Colleen and Sully both spun around towards Brian who looked up anxiously. "I’m sorry Sully, it slipped," he explained, his brow furrowing and his lip quivering.

"It’s alright Brian," said Sully gently, "we’re all feelin’ a little jumpy at the moment."

Suddenly Colleen exclaimed, "Sully, look!!"

Sully turned to see Michaela’s eyes fluttering and then her hand tightened on his. "Michaela, sweetheart, it’s me, Sully," he said quietly.

Michaela looked as if she was having difficulty focussing. "Sully? …………… lightning …….. Flash …….." she murmured, turning her slowly head from side to side.

"It’s alright, you fell, you’re gonna be fine," he reassured her.

Colleen and Brian were now bending over the bed also, both smiling reassuringly. "You’ve got quite a bruise on your forehead ma, but you’re gonna be fine," said Colleen as she reached out to touch her ma’s cheek tenderly. Michaela’s brow creased as if she was trying to make out what was happening and then her eyes closed and she lapsed back into unconsciousness. "At least she knew you Sully. I’m sure that’s a good sign," said Colleen trying to reassure herself and Brian as much as her adoptive father.

"You’re probably right Colleen. It’ll just take some time. Why don’t you and Brian go downstairs and have some of that supper you were cookin’. I’ll sit here with ya ma in case she needs me," said Sully.

"Alright, but only as long as you eat that sandwich I made ya ….. on the tray there," ordered Colleen pointing. Sully nodded. Then Colleen took her brother’s hand, "c’mon Brian, ma’s gonna be fine."

Brian looked from Sully’s face to Colleen’s, obviously wanting to believe them but not too sure whether he should. "I’ll call you when ya ma comes to agin, I promise," said Sully ushering them both out the door.

Sully returned to his place on the side of the bed and picked up Michaela’s hand again. He slowly rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb - her skin was so soft compared to his calloused, workman’s hands. He leant forward and gently kissed the side of her face on which the ugly bruise was slowly spreading. "C’mon Michaela, we got such a lot to do you and me ……………….. and a lot to talk about …….." he whispered pleadingly into her hair. He looked across at Colleen’s sandwich and coffee but really didn’t have the stomach for them. He stoically refused let himself think forward to what might be. "In the mornin’ I’ll send Colleen inta town to let ‘em know that ya not well …… they can do without ya for a day or so ‘til ya well agin," he murmured.

Apart from some restless movement of her limbs there was very little change in Michaela’s condition during the next few hours. The thunderstorm which had caused this worrisome situation finally abated, the wind and rain gradually easing to a gentle breeze and fine mist. Sully sent two very reluctant children to bed at about 10 o’clock, with promises that he would wake them if there was a change. After stoking the fire he returned to his place at his wife’s side and prepared to wait out the night.

Determined not to let sleep overcome him lest Michaela woke, Sully eyes wandered around the room, so recently their own so very private and safe haven.

On the night stand a touch of green caught his eye - Dorothy’s book, "My Town". He was glad that Michaela had finally patched up her differences with Dorothy about what she had written in that book. Michaela had been so upset that Dorothy had written some very private things about her and Sully. Strangely Sully hadn’t minded. He didn’t really care what people thought about him but he knew that Michaela had been embarrassed when Dorothy wrote of their courtship and her uncertainty about it all. Despite trying so hard to fit into life in Colorado Springs Michaela was still a Bostonian at heart - ever reserved and guarded about her private life. Even now that they were married she found it difficult to express her innermost feelings, to tell him of her troubles, to let down her guard. Though the longer they were married the more of her private self she revealed to him, sides of herself that no-one else would ever know, so many things that would never appear in any book, unless, of course, he was to write it! He smiled wryly at that thought.

He tenderly stroked her face, running his thumb softly over her lips. During their courtship she had also found it very difficult to show her love for him physically and he had had to be so careful not to frighten her with his need to be close to her, to touch her, to hold her. Since they’d been married he knew that it wasn’t because she *couldn’t* love him physically, the more at ease she became about their lovemaking the more responsive she became, sometimes demanding more from him in return. Despite the current situation Sully felt his body warm to these intimate memories of the past few wonderful months. The anxiety she had expressed to Dorothy had definitely been unfounded!

He reached out to touch her long hair, now a tangled mass on the pillow. "Can’t have that can we?" he murmured out loud. He walked quietly across to Michaela’s dressing table and picked up her hair brush, stopping briefly to finger the cut glass bottle of perfume he had bought her on their honeymoon in Denver. Back in his place beside her he gently raised her head with one hand and gathered her hair together in the other, drawing it all to the side of her face not affected by the bruising. He held her hair at her nape and began to pull the brush through it until it fell smooth and tangle free across her shoulder and the bedclothes. Even after he finished brushing he continued to stroke her long copper hair remembering all the times before they were married when he had wanted to run his hands lovingly through it. Since their marriage she often let him brush her hair, here in this room in front of the fire, before going to bed. It had taken three long years but at last Michaela was his and he hers in every sense of the word and nothing was going to change that, only strengthen it.

He started guiltily from his reverie when he felt Michaela move beside him. Again her eyelids fluttered open and then her lips moved soundlessly. Sully dampened a clean cloth and held it to her face and lips. "Sully," she croaked, "thirsty ….." Sully poured a little water into a glass and holding her up gently she sipped from it.

"What happened? I was riding home ….." she muttered.

"I know. Flash musta bin spooked by the thunder ‘n lightnin’ and you were thrown," Sully explained quietly.

"My head hurts," said Michaela as she lifted her hand to her brow. She winced as she came into contact with the gash and bruising and Sully grasped her hand, pulling it away from her face.

"You musta hit ya head on a rock - ya got a real nasty bruise. Hope ya not gonna tell folks I did it to ya," he smiled lovingly. He was feeling more confident now that she was going to be alright.

She smiled somewhat painfully in return. "I just might! Where did you find me ………… how did you get me home …………. how long have I been unconscious?" she asked becoming more lucid by the minute.

Sully smiled more broadly then. This was *his* Michaela - demanding answers and reasons. "I found ya just before the fork, I carried ya home and you’ve been out to it for about six hours ………. and that’s enough questions and answers for now. I want ya to lie back and rest. Besides, I promised the kids I’d let ‘em know when you came to."

Michaela clutched his hand tightly for a moment as if to say thank-you and then lay back and closed her eyes again.

"I’ll be back in just a moment Michaela. You alright?" asked Sully. "Mmmm," murmured Michaela as she drifted back off into sleep.

Sully rose, pulled the bedclothes up to Michaela’s chin and went to tell the children that their ma was going to be alright (he hoped).

As he opened Colleen’s door she stirred immediately as if waiting for him. "Is she alright Sully?" she asked anxiously. "Yeah, looks like she’s gonna be fine, even started askin’ questions …. you know ya ma …" Colleen’s relief was obvious. "Now you go back to sleep and you can check on her in the mornin’," ordered Sully. Colleen smiled and her head dropped back to her pillow.

Sully had to wake Brian which he did reluctantly but he knew Brian would be upset with him if he left it until the morning. Brian’s relief was as heartfelt as Colleen’s. He reached out for a hug from Sully who was happy to oblige and for a moment they comforted each other. "Tell ma I really do love her, won’t ya Sully," whispered Brian into Sully’s chest, still mindful of Michaela’s concern over something Dorothy had written in her book. Sully reassured the boy, tucked him in and then returned to Michaela.

Her eyes opened as he entered the room. "Sorry Sully," she said softly.

"What d’ya mean sorry? Aint nothin’ to be sorry for …. these things happen. We’re just glad that you’re alright," he said taking her hand in his.

"Now you can get some sleep. I can tell that you haven’t had any up to now," whispered Michaela.

"Yeah, well I needed to know you were alright. You gave me …… us …….. quite a scare." With his words he tenderly lifted her to the side of the bed and after undressing lay down beside her under the blankets taking her gently into his arms. "You’ve got quite a few bruises. I’m gonna enjoy kissin’ ‘em better when you’re up to it. But for now I just wanna hold ya," he whispered into her hair.

Michaela blushed but then snuggled in against his warmth, relishing Sully’s tenderness and love. She felt cherished, yes that was the word she thought, as she went back to sleep.

Sully, on the other hand, lay awake, only now acknowledging the fears he had previously held in check. His body began to tremble and he held Michaela tightly against his chest. How could someone have such a profound effect on a person’s life he mused as her gently rocked her.

His eyes once again alighted on Dorothy’s book on the night stand. The publication of "My Town" had certainly distressed Michaela, but memories of another book which had also caused some anxiety came into his mind. During their engagement his bringing Walt Whitman’s "Leaves of Grass" into the house had caused both Michaela and Sully to consider their future together and what it might be like. While Sully’s thoughts of their future had been positive and happily anticipatory, Michaela’s had been unsure and even fearful. He had been so careful during their courtship and engagement to be gentle and loving with Michaela, realising very early on her inexperience in relationships with men. Of course she had been engaged to David Lewis before coming to Colorado Springs but Sully’s knowing guess was that the relationship had been limited to polite Boston teas and the occasional goodbye kiss on the doorstep of her Beacon Hill home. They had their doctoring in common and he was sure that was what had drawn them together but from what he could see there hadn’t been too much lovin’ in the relationship!

After much persuasion Sully had finally convinced Michaela to share Whitman’s poetry with him, sitting on the front porch of the old homestead one night in the lamplight. She had been predictably nervous, knowing only that Whitman’s poetry was regarded as rather racy and improper by those in society. Sully had held her and quietly read the verse which said so much to him and about how he felt. While perhaps not fully understanding much of what he had read, Michaela had finally been open to hearing and responding to the verse and both of them knew that sharing it had had taken them to a new level in their relationship. Sully was certain that Michaela would not have mentioned this to Dorothy, considering it too personal to share, even with her best friend. He wondered idly what Michaela’s reaction to Whitman’s poetry would be now and resolved to find his copy amongst the books in the desk downstairs and ask her to read it with him again some time soon.

Throughout the night Sully mused over incidents which had changed or enhanced their relationship, so many that meant so much but also so many that he would rather forget, like Michaela’s abduction by the dog soldiers - how he had feared for her life and her sanity! He had spent three days searching for her, wondering whether there would be anything left of her to rescue. When he had finally wrested her away from the Indians he had been consumed with fear about what they might have done to her - desperately wanting, but afraid, to touch her, to hold her. Sully shivered involuntarily and his heart pounded for a moment. But, while she had been terrified and feared for her life she had not been hurt in the way he had most dreaded. When he thought about it, for all its terror, this was the time that both of them fully realised that they could not live without each other, that they were linked, heart to heart, soul to soul.

He determinedly turned his mind to happier, safer times and thoughts of the building of the new homestead and the carving of the bed in which they now lay came readily to mind. She had discovered the bed he had been working on as a wedding gift hidden behind a quilt a couple of months before the wedding and they had shared one of the most tender moments he could remember telling each other how much they were loved and how much they looked forward to being together. And then, of course there was their wedding night, a moment in time he would never forget for as long as he lived, every single detail etched into his heart and mind forever ………

………………………………………………….

Michaela woke just as the first weak rays of the morning sun were filtering through the bedroom curtains. She was immediately aware of a dull ache behind her eyes which made her squint when she tried to open them. She was still held cocooned in Sully’s arms, her head against his chest. Through narrowed eyes she carefully peered upwards and discovered that he too was awake, seemingly lost in thought despite the occasional gentle stroke he gave her back and arm. His eyes were focussed on the distance, beyond the curtains, maybe beyond the visible scenery from the homestead window.

"Sully …….", she whispered.

"Mmmmmm," he murmured in reply.

"Have you slept?" she asked.

"Couldn’t …. too much on my mind I guess. Don’t you ever give us such a scare agin ….. alright," he said as his hold on her tightened and he brought his lips down to caress hers gently. "How’s yer head?"

"It aches a little, but I’ll be alright," she answered as she tentatively reached to touch the bruising on her face and then snuggled back down into his arms. "Still a while before we have to get up, try and get some sleep Sully ….. for me ….. I’m going to be fine …"

"You won’t be gettin’ up early today ……… doc’s orders," commanded Sully, with a smile and a waver in his voice. "You’re gonna take it easy …. I’m sendin’ Colleen inta town to tell ‘em you’re not well … alright."

In reply Michaela stroked his bearded chin and lowered her head again to his chest. "Alright …….. I know what will happen if I say I have to go into the clinic ….. but you have to stay with me and try to get some sleep too," she whispered as she drifted back off to sleep.

Sully finally fell asleep still holding his wife tightly against him as if he was afraid to let her go, and that was how Colleen found them. After knocking and receiving no response she tentatively opened the door to discover them both still asleep.

"Sully ……… Sully ….," she called quietly. Sully’s eyes opened slowly and as he turned his head to acknowledge her he raised his fingers to his lips.

"Sshhh …."

"Colleen whispered, "Sully, its almost time for school, is ma alright?"

"I think she’ll be fine Colleen. Will you let the people in town know that she won’t be comin’ in today? You two go to school. I’ll look after her ….. alright?" Sully said quietly, not wanting to disturb his wife.

Colleen nodded and turned to leave. "Love you," she whispered as she carefully closed the door and crept downstairs to tell Brian.

Sully smiled - his love for his new family grew almost by the hour - and as he closed his eyes again Michaela’s hand gently stroked his chest letting him know that she had heard Colleen too.

…………………………………………….

Michaela insisted on getting up a little later, against ‘doc’ Sully’s orders, and eating breakfast with him downstairs. However, Sully did win the argument over what chores would and would not be done today and who would do them. She put up little opposition, her head ached and the various other bruises she had sustained had left her a little stiff and sorry for herself.When the sun had risen high in the sky Sully insisted on moving her rocker out onto the porch and then he gently sat Michaela in it covering her with a colourful indian rug. The sunlight was a little strong for Michaela’s eyes but she lay back and rested her head on the back of the chair with her eyes closed, absorbing the sun’s warmth. She was just dozing off when Sully reappeared, sat himself on the porch floor and leant against Michaela’s knees. He had two books in his hands.

"Feel like some readin’?" he asked.

"Mmmmm …………... as long as *you* read and don’t mind if I go off to sleep ….…. I’m feeling very lazy," murmured Michaela who was unused to being idle.

"That’s alright by me," said Sully and he began to read, "Michaela Quinn is my closest friend in Colorado Springs ….." "Sully!!…………. That’s Dorothy’s book … I ……… I don’t feel like reading that now ……… besides I’ve already read it," exclaimed Michaela.

"I thought we might *share* it," said Sully, "I think we *need* to share it. Yesterday I was all ready to talk to you about it when I saw you sittin’ with Dorothy at Grace’s. Then, after what happened last night I decided we *gotta* share it ……. we don’t *share* nearly enough Michaela ……." he explained, quiet but determined, hoping that she would understand.

By now Michaela was obviously agitated. "You’ve read it Sully, we both did, what more is there to say?" she pleaded.

Sully dropped his head and traced a knot in the timber floor with his finger. "Ya know when you were upset that Brian had talked to Dorothy about his real ma rather than talkin’ to you?" he murmured in a low voice.

"Mmmmm."

"Well, seems to me you did the same - went to Dorothy rather ‘n talkin’ to me."

He heard Michaela’s sudden intake of breath and then he slowly raised his head to look into her shocked face. She had definitely never thought of it like that before. He reached for her hand to reassure her that he understood, but he was pleased that he had made his point.

"I couldn’t talk to you about those things Sully. I…….. I didn’t understand what was happening to me …… I……. I didn’t understand my own feelings ….. and I certainly couldn’t put it into words, especially to you," she tried to explain, her words and thoughts tumbling over each other.

"I know those things Michaela. But I’da liked ya to admit just once that you were unsure, that you didn’t have much experience with men, that ya didn’t know ‘bout how to be with me ……. sure …. I worked it out …. pretty early on …….. but it sure woulda helped if you’d talked to me some …."

"I’m sorry Sully. In my family a person didn’t talk about things like that. I was so young when my sisters started courting and getting married. Rebecca married when I was still a little girl and so she never confided in me. When I was at an age where I needed to talk to someone about those things Claudette and Charles and Marjorie and Everett were married and very unhappy and of course back then Marjorie resented me so much that she would never talk to me about personal things anyway ……. so I never had a very rosy view of relationships. And I was so busy being a doctor that I didn’t make many close friends - male or female - until David." She sighed and the grip on his hand tightened. Her other hand reached out to run her fingers through Sully’s hair. She was staring off into the distance. He just let her talk.

"I remember only three times my mother ever said anything to me about being with a man. When I got engaged to David she warned me not to do anything that would shame me or the family and to make sure that, until we were married, we were always chaperoned. Then when I left Boston she warned me that -- the morals of those on the western frontier would not be as I was used to, to be careful and to make sure I didn’t lower myself to their level." This was said in a perfect mimic of her mother’s style and tone of voice. "And then, after our wedding, when I was preparing to join you at the train station for our honeymoon she talked about doing my "wifely duty" whether I liked it or not. So you can see she didn’t provide me with much to go on."

"And do you?" he asked quietly, raising his eyes to hers.

Michaela smiled shyly at him. "Do I what?"

"Like it," he asked gently.

"Oh Sully, how can you ask." She paused, and then added wonderingly, as if she had just made a discovery, "I guess I always have ……….. but I was so scared of my feelings that I told myself I shouldn’t, that feeling like I did for you was somehow wrong or strange. That other people I knew didn’t feel like *that* ………."

Sully rose to his knees and faced Michaela. "It aint wrong or strange Michaela, never was. I would never’ve done anything to make you ashamed." He held her arms tightly at the elbow and looked deep into her eyes. "I felt it right from the beginnin’, right from when I saw you in Loren’s store and you were puttin’ up that note about needin’ a house. What about you?"

"What do you mean?" she asked puzzled.

"When did you feel it?"

"Feel what?" she said, smiling shyly.

"Like ya heart was poundin’ a little too fast and ya stomach was flutterin’………… or somethin’ like that," he said equally shyly, not quite meeting her eyes.

Michaela reddened and then smiled. "That’s easy. The night in the tipi when Brian was missing, you wrapped your coat around me and put your hands on my shoulders. I thought my heart was beating so hard it would burst and that you’d hear it."

"That’s alright then, just so long as you felt it too," said Sully as he pulled her forward into his arms to hold her gently, still mindful of her bruising.

They stayed that way for a long time, warmed by the sunshine and their love for each other. Another stage had been reached in their marriage - both knew it and savoured it. Neither would be afraid to talk further about it later on if they wanted to.

"Promise me you’ll talk to me about things when ya confused or unsure …. please," Sully asked as he caressed her back and neck. She leaned back a little and reached out to run her fingers lightly over his mouth. He trembled. "I’ll try," she said quietly and sincerely, sealing her promise with a light, tender kiss.

Sully opened his eyes and looked into hers. "Now how ‘bout another book, one we haven’t looked at in a long time," he suggested as he sat back on his heels and showed her the second book he had brought out onto the porch. It was Whitman’s "Leaves of Grass". Michaela gently brushed his hair off his face and then said blushingly, "alright, as long as we can *share* it, maybe inside, not like this out here." Sully chuckled, pulled himself up off the floor, took his wife’s hand and escorted her inside.

……………………………………………………………….

A week or so later the bruising on Michaela’s face had almost disappeared, it was only noticeable if you looked really closely. As she walked towards the station to collect the mail many of the townspeople waved to her and asked her how she was feeling. She waved back happily, returning their greetings.

At the station she asked Horace, the telegraph operator, for their mail. "Got the medicine you ordered and a letter from Boston," he said jovially, handing her the letter.

"More marital advice from my mother no doubt," she commented with a smile, flipping the envelope over and recognising the handwriting on the front.

"From what I can see you two are doin’ just fine," complimented Horace.

Michaela smiled almost secretively at him. "We are," she said. "We are!"

THE END

Comments:  Pam H