It is the single most destructive thought we humans have. It is the one thing that is responsible for our feelings of failure,
loneliness, anger, etc. It is what makes us want to control our lives, our loves, our giving, everything. If you
love with expectation, not only do you not love but you will eventually be hurt by it. If you give with expectation, not only do you not truly give, but you will be hurt by it as well. If you expect your life to go the way you want it to go, chances are pretty good it won't happen that way. I wake up everyday with the expectation that this day surely has to be better than the last. I am disappointed more often than not.
In our everyday dealings with people, we expect them to act and react the way we would. If we are kind to them we expect them to be kind back and probably a good portion of the time that happens. But what about the other times? Since we expected them to be kind back and they weren't we were hurt. We shouldn't place our expectations of ourselves on other people. That is not only not fair to them, it is not fair to yourself. The only person you can place expectation on is yourself. You know you. If you place expectations on your child, you are probably placing your ideas about how you would do things upon them. They are not you. They may not be as good a student as you were. It would be far better for you and him to teach him to expect more from himself, than for him to try to live up to your expectations of him. Same goes for employees, friends, etc.
Expectation is funny. When we expect good things to happen, they may or may not. When we expect bad things to happen, they may or may not. When we expect good things to happen and they don't we never look for something to call good. However, when we expect bad things to happen and they don't we start looking for something bad. Why that is I don't know. Maybe its because when good things expected don't happen, it's easier for us to feel sorry for ourselves. And when bad things don't happen we don't have an excuse to feel sorry for ourselves so we look for a reason.
When expected things don't happen we get
angry. If we expect our spouse to remember our birthday or anniversary and they forget....oh boy do we get
angry. What purpose does that serve? Now both of you are upset, and you'll probably harbor a grudge. What purpose does that serve? If we expect bad things to happen through out our day, we go through our day in a bad mood, looking for anything to go wrong. What purpose does that serve?
The only person you can place expectation on is yourself. You have to carefully examine your expectations though. If you set them too high, you will fall. If you set them too low, you will never step up.
Expectation is very, very hard to let go of. Possibly the hardest thing. It is in 90% of our thinking. Acknowledging the fact, is half the battle. Once you know how you harm your relationships with it, you can try to avoid it. You will find eventually that your attitude toward life is changing. You will be happier because you won't be setting yourself up for failure everyday. So recognize it, let go of it, and be free!