The human oikos (or ecos -- as in ecosystem/environment -- or literally translated from Greek as 'house') can consist up to a maximum of 12 people. These are the people we have significant relationships with. Significant means that we have meaningful interaction with them for at least about an hour per day. Consider how many waking hours there are in a day and one begins to see why there are limits to our oikos.

Therefore we can and should count in our oikos our immediate family, children and spouse, and next whatever friends or work associates we have to deal with. If we're counting up more than 12 people we can rest assured that someone in our oikos is getting the short end of us and probably feels that we aren't giving our all to that relationship, whatever it is.

I've used the example of Jesus and the 12 disciples to point out that this was a man who maximized his oikos. By maximizing our oikos we do get benefits psychologically of support and friendship -- but also purposely limiting ourselves to the number 12 ensures that those people in our oikos are getting the max benefit from us as well.

People will move into and out of our Oikos in an ever changing manner... which is why we often find ourselves out of touch with people who used to be 'close' friends. It doesn't mean we don't like them anymore -- it just means that whatever transactional value that relationship had came to bear its fruit and then it's time to move on.. it's no indictment of you or your former close friend.. just human nature... the nice thing about it is though.. that as people move into and out of our oikos we grow.. and we know that others will take little pieces of us into their oikos where we will live on forever.

On the flip side.. people who have too few people in their oikos will eventually become unstable. Less than three is considered a psychotic oikos. These persons either have such a limited oikos because they are already unstable and can't maintain relationships or will soon become unstable without people in their lives losing touch with reality -- retreating into their own minds.... much like Tom Hanks in Castaway developing an unnatural attachment to a volleyball...

Marketing organizations such as Amway, Churches, and underground revolutionary movements have used the natural ebb and flow of people into and out of the oikos to spread their 'gospel' so to speak as did Jesus and the 12 disciples.

© 2001 Night Hawke all rights reserved

-- Kahlil Gibran