'Hi there! The name's Strace and I live with my human, Melissa Mummy...and of course, my wife Burn. She can be a real witch sometimes, but I'm too horny to complain. Hell, when my mummy brought Burn in one August night last year, all I could think of was "Wow! A sow!" and I couldn't keep my paws off her. She wasn't too happy about my behaviour and jumped right into my big yellow food tray. It isn't big enough for 2, but hey! I can wait. All sows play hard to get...' Strace in the grass

'Mummy bought me from this pet store in Chinatown. I think she just had dinner with her family, cuz I could smell food all over her...which was another reason why I kept nibbling and licking her fingers everytime she poked them through the bars of the cage I was in with a dozen other piggies. They were a bunch of chickens and ran to furtherest corner of the cage. Anyway, Mummy's Dad (my grandad) allowed Mummy to buy me from the shop and paid for me too!'

Strace face down 'The first night I spent with Mummy was in the cardboard box with a couple of cabbage leaves. Not the best of accomadations, but at least I didn't feel cold despite the air-conditioning. They bought me a brand new cage the next morning and it was real big for me. Mummy even bought me a leash, so I wouldn't run away if she bought me down on the grass at the playground, but I don't need it anyway. I'm too scared to go more than 2 metres away from human feet when I'm put down on the grass. Who knows what will happen to me if I wander around? There are too many strange sounds and smells, and who knows which one will kill lil' ole' me?'

'Well, that was how I felt before my wife came along. I have to be macho and face the strange world out there, or else she'll laugh at me. Still, I stick close to Burn when I'm on the grass. Now that I have kids, it's all the more reason I have to brave the world. Sometimes I'll get my sons to follow me around, but the minute I hear my kids wheeking, I'll scoot right over to them....just in case.'

Strace is my first guinea pig and of all the pigs I have, he is my favorite. He may not be show material, but his personality is so strong, everyone thinks he's almost human. He recognises his name and comes to me when I call (everyone gets very surprised at this), he loves being picked up and have his back scratched. In fact, if you don't pay any attention to him, he'll lay down in the corner of his cage and sulk till someone comes along to carry him.

Strace's Datasheet
Name: Strace
Nickname: Horny Boy/Boyboy
Age: 3 years 6 months (as of May '01)
Birthday: Unknown
Breed: Agouti Smooth coat
Color Combo: Cinnamon & white
Favorite snack: Yoghurt drops & soba noodles

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