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| Tuesday,
April 22, 2003 Dear Diary, Well, all I can tell you is that this past weekend has been a very emotional one for me. I don’t know why, or maybe I do. I fasted this weekend and it always seems like I am under attack when I do that. But that’s okay… My God Will Never Let Me Down. Just wanted to drop in with two quick observations. I will be back after to tell you about my Easter Weekend. My first is about unconditional love. I had a conversation with my husband where I told him I still love him, and will, no matter what he does. There are no conditions on it. He does not have to love me in return, or do what I think is right, or anything. I LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY. The night I had this conversation with him, I prayed to God, and asked God why He loves me the way He does… and it came to me. He has always loved me unconditionally. Through my life, no matter what I was doing, even when it was hurting Him, He loved me anyway. The same unconditional love I feel for my husband, The Lord God and His Son Jesus feel for me, but on a much grander scale. That brought me a very nice peace. The other observation is about thanking God for what you have prayed for, because you know you already have it. I had a hard time with that at first. I felt more like it was a sort of form of positive thinking, if you know what I mean. But then this morning, again, the answer just came to me. Let me explain. If I go to Jacob right now and tell him, “In one year we are going to Florida for 3 weeks…” Even though the trip has not come to pass yet, he knows that it will, because I told him it would. It’s The Same Thing! There is no ‘positive thinking’ in Jacob’s coming to me and saying “Thanks Muma, for taking me to Florida.” He is thanking me for what I have told him will happen. That is what it means to Thank God for the restoration of my marriage! I get it! I love how God shows me these things! The only difference between Jacob and me is that Jacob has a definite date when he will receive what I have told him. I do not, but that’s okay too. God has given me visions, and signs, and so much more than I could ever imagine that I deserve. I will wait on Him, and continue to pray that He shows me not only How to follow Him, but how to help others. You included. Thank You Lord For All That You Have Done! Toi
Thursday, April 24, 2003 Dear Dairy, Okay, you know what I have figured out? That school vacation is not an easy time to sit down at the computer and do anything without being disturbed! LOL… I am sorry, but this is going to be a short week. Between having a house full of kids, my own issues, and now getting ready to go to NJ, there just has not been enough time. But I believe it is as God makes it, so I am not fretting. I will be back on Sunday (cutting my trip short so I don’t miss church! LOL) I hope you all have a great weekend. I love you Steven. Toi
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Since March 12, 2003 |
