I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Psalms 32:8

"Honestly, Toi, I don't know. Why, what's going on?" I told her about the happenings of the day, again, very calmly, and ended with. "I am going to find my husband, weather you help me or not." She said very nicely, "I wish I could help you, but I don't know where he is." We talked about who knows what for a few, and then she said something that irked me. It's a shame that I don't remember what it was, but I remember feeling irked. So I said to her "Tell me Jen, what does 181 Russ___ Lane mean to you?" She paused for a minute. "That's my address." "Yes, dear, I know that, and I am on my way there right now." She said out loud, in a tone that I believe was for someone else to hear, "You're on your way here?" "Yes, I am. I'm almost to route 9 right now." She tried to cover herself. "Well, your welcome to come over. You can check my closets, my dishwasher (don't ask me why her dishwasher), you can look anywhere, but Steve's not here." I said, "Good, I will." We stayed on the phone, chatting... really... about her friend whose uncle passed away, about Jacob, and other inconsequential things. She even gave me better directions to her house. Manny sat in the passenger seat, not knowing what to think. He was talking to his wife on his cell phone, laughing because Jen was giving us directions. Jen even told me she would put on a pot of coffee for us when we got there. Is this comical or what?

Well, we finally arrived at her house, and knocked on her door. (No my husbands car was not there... go figure). Her friend Kerry opened the door. I smiled and said hi. She invited us in. It's about 12:45 in the morning on a Tuesday. And my day still has not started yet! Jen walked out from the back of the very tiny apartment that stunk like cat pee, and said hello. She led us to the living room, which was about as big as my bathroom. We sat down, and she asked me again what was going on. I told her again. She seemed, and I mean seemed, sincere when asking questions. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to feel that Steven hadn't been there. I knew when she was lying to me, but could not prove it, and did not want to start a big fight. We were all sitting down, talking like rational adults. I wanted it to stay that way.

At about 1:30 am Jen's phone rang. She picked it up, and these were her exact words.

"Hello? Yes... Yes... She wants to talk to you."

Now, before we even get into what happened after that, what does that conversation say to you? I'll tell you what it says to me. This is exactly how that conversation went, word for word, or I am a monkey.

Jen: "Hello?"    

Steve: "Did she show up there?"

Jen:   "Yes."

Steve: "Is she stillthere?"

Jen:     "Yes."

Steve: "Well, what's she doing?"

Jen: "She wants to talk to you."

Now tell me, this is a conversation between two people that have supposedly, according to Jen, not spoken since he told her to leave him alone. Yea, sure... can I have a banana please... those are monkey's favorites, ya know.

Anyway, I got on the phone with Steven, and he immediately began screaming at me. This is a man that has never ever screamed at me. We have gotten loud with each other when arguing, but this was all out screaming. "What's the matter with you! Filing a missing persons report, are you crazy? You better not hurt Jen, or I swear, you'll see a wrath from me like you've never seen! You better leave that house right now, and don't you EVER talk to her again!" I replied with, "Excuse me, but you did NOT tell me what to do as my husband, and you WILL not tell me what to do now. If I never speak to Jen again, it will be because I choose it, not you." It was actually pretty easy to argue with him on the phone; because this was not the man I married. This was not the man that I had shared my bed with only 3 days earlier. This was not the father of my child. We ended our conversation with my saying "I love you." I got no response. I expected it, but it still hurt me deeply.

Jen sat opposite me looking perplexed. I told her that Steven told me he had spoken to her today (he did tell me that). Her face dropped, and she said, "No, I didn't talk to him." I said, "Jen, he just told me he spoke to you." "Nope, I did not speak to him today." "Jen," I said, "he just told me your whole conversation. Please don't lie to me." She stood her ground. "I don't know why he said that, but we have not spoken today." At that point Manny was ready to leave. He kept saying, "Let's go. We gotta go." C'mon, she has to work in the morning." I wanted just a few more minutes to talk, and see how many other lies I would be told. So I asked her, "What did Steven say when you picked up the phone?" "Hi." "Really, he said hi? Why does that call for a 'yes' response?" She again looked perplexed, like she was a bit amazed that I am not that stupid. "Oh, well, he wanted to know if I was all right." All I said was "Really?"

In my head I am doing the math. The only reason he called her was because he knew I was coming there, and wanted to check on her. If he truly had not spoken to her, he would have never known that I was there and would have had no reason to be concerned for her. Lie number... I lost count. Finally, I broke down and started to cry. It was like all of the pent up tension from the previous 48 hours was letting go, and I bawled like a baby. Oh, she was very nice, as was her friend. They rubbed my back, and consoled me, got me tissues and did all the things nice people would do. (Oh, by the way. Kerry, the girl that Jen had supposedly spent the entire day with apparently did not know about the lie. She began telling Jen all of the things she had done during the day after she found out that her uncle had passed away.) I even looked at Jen at one point and said to her,

"All I want is for Steven to be happy. If you are going to be what makes him happy, then you can have him."

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