THE END TIMES
VOLUME II || ISSUE 1 || OCTOBER 17, 2004
Michael Moore, Star Wars Director!
Saddam Hussein Stole JBU Speed Bumps!
North Hall Staging Global Domination!
University Espionage Uncovered!
Michael Moore to Direct
Star Wars 7, 8, 9
In a shocking interview with The End Times, Star Wars director George Lucas not only revealed plans to indeed make a third trilogy but also to hire political firebrand Michael Moore to direct all three films!
"Mike and I were actually really good friends from film school," director Lucas said in an exclusive phone interview with the End Times. "I originally intended for him to direct 'The Return of the Jedi,' but he had a problem with the Ewoks being represented as, so he said, 'only a minority.'" "He thought the Ewoks were being treated unfairly; he thought that they should actually lead the rebellion on Endor. I just shrugged and kicked him off the set."
Mr. Moore had nothing but positive words for director Lucas, aside from the occasional artistic differences. "He was filming the cantina scene, and Han had just shot Greedo, and I just looked at George blankly," explained Moore. "George, what kind of universe have you created, where young innocent aliens can go up to any dealer and just buy a laser gun and go out and kill innocent creatures?!? George just thought I was taking things totally out of context. I just said, 'look at the facts, George.'"
If there is one thing that they both agree on, it is definitely the political structure of Star Wars. "George's political ideas are astounding!" Moore claimed. "This corrupt governor tricks everybody into electing him, he uses his power for evil, and ends up killing the Jedi, the few people that actually stand for truth and justice in the galaxy! It's just like today's society." Lucas' reply? "The emperor is an emperor, not a governor." Moore had no further comment.
With the release of "Star Wars Episode 3" in May 2005, the back-story of the sci-fi universe will be firmly established, leaving room for this future trilogy to be dealt with. "I have started writing a rough draft for 'Episode 7' and have several ideas as to where the story could lead," says Lucas. He is not the only one who is enthusiastic. "Oh, it will be fantastic," claims Moore. "I'm great with fiction."
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