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THE END TIMES VOLUME II || ISSUE 1 || OCTOBER 17, 2004 |
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Michael Moore, Star Wars Director! Saddam Hussein Stole JBU Speed Bumps! North Hall Staging Global Domination! University Espionage Uncovered! |
University Espionage Uncovered!Do the other students down your hall seem a little odd? Do they stay up at all hours of the night, wandering campus? Do they seem to be asking too many questions about the school-to everyone they meet? If so, they may be part of an interuniversity espionage ring working to gather intelligence information for other colleges. A local source has recently confirmed that there are indeed any where from six to fourteen such agents that have infiltrated this year's freshman class. While details are still sketchy, it is clear that they have come for one purpose: to gather secret information about JBU's students and deliver it to their employers working for hundreds of America's colleges and universities. For this reason, the administration is currently considering a new application process. In the future, incoming students may first have to pass a polygraph test, and will take a mandatory retinal scan for the university's files. Meanwhile, the university has neither confirmed nor denied these allegations against its students. |
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