1. Protect freedom of speech and expression! This one was so important, it is now our #1 belief! Political correctness is infesting our nation. Sure, not offending people is a good idea, but since when does mentioning Christmas offend someone? The Mikist Party demands that this political correctness that has gone too far be stopped immeidatly! Here are some of my favorite examples of political correctness that went way too far. Remember Mr. Magoo, that movie a couple years back about the man who got into wacky problems because he couldn't see and refused to get glasses? Some of the blind protested it!! It was a comedy, not an insult to the blind! I guess they were too blinded by the fog of ignorance to see that! Another was the movie entitled Bubble Boy. People protested that, too! People who had known someone who really was allergic to everything died decades ago, so they went after the movie! Certain Afghan people are sueing rapper Eminem for the mockery of bin Laden in a video! What's next? Why don't the Nazis sue Hogan's Heros for mocking them? Or how about if we sue the makers of the Halloween movies for portraying mass murderers as bad and frightening people?! Ok, I could go on for hours here, but I won't. Just one more thing-let's clear the fog of ignorance from America and break down the barriers of political correctness!
2. Ban the nudity ban. Why, these days, is the naked human body considered evil? If God had wanted the human body to be concealed we would have been born with clothing on. Enough said.
3. Eliminate the drinking age. Yes, it sounds insane, but it works quite well in Europe. By telling Americans that they must wait until 21 to have a single drink of alcohol is absurd! If you tell a younger person not to do something without a really good reason whynot to do it, chances are that they will defy that law. Also, this law bans parents from giving their children alchohol. Why is that bad? In Europe, parents teach children to drink responsibly at a young age (i.e.-not going out with friends and getting sloppy drunk). When young, unexperienced Americans go out and drink most have not been taught to drink repsonsibly, causing drunkeness and even death from alchohol poisoning. See, with proper explanation Mikism starts to make some sense!
4. Re-test older drivers. While some elderly drivers remain alert and competent, many are not. A while back, an old woman in a large sedan hit my car TWICE and then drove slowly away from the scene! When she pulled into a parking lot and I confronted her, she walked away and said that she was "too old for this." I reported this to my local police, who to this day have never contacted me. She was right, though, the old woman. She was too old to drive! Let's save us all a lot of problems and re-test elderly motorists!
5. Eliminate racism. I have always said that the best argument against rasism is to talk to a rasist. They are so irrational and absurd that you cannot help but laugh at them. Some walk around pretending they are Adolf Hitler, while other like to dress up as silly ghosts and parade around. If the KKK is so brave, how come they conceal their idenity? And the Nazis! In case they don't know, Hitler was a short, irrational, insecure man who came to power in Germany. In the end, he hid in his little bunker and shot himself. These racsists wouldn't know logic of it kicked them in the crotch and yelled "boo". Here's another thing to piss off the racsists...scientists have traced all human genes back to a black woman in Africa. That means we're technically all black! Enough said.
6. Get rid of the speed limit in some parts of America. In France, it is said that the diver causes the accident, not the speed. Although most of the time I can safely say I do not agree with France, this is one instance that I admit that I do. People can get into accidents at any speed! Also, driving would be more fun and travel would move faster. See, not such a bad idea after all!
7. Make the work week four days instead of five. This will be a short explanation. Number one, it works in other nations. Number two, who wouldn't love every weekend to be a three day weekend. Enough said.
Note on #7: Some schools have actually made the week four days instead of five to save money. The light of reason has been seen! Now if all the other places of business and schools would do that, then the Mikist Party will have truly made a difference. Talk to your employer or school board today (or sometime, just so long as they get the message).
8. Legalize drugs. Pot, Crack, and all that stuff. Yes, it is bad for people. Yes, it is stupid to do it. But should the government spend billions of dollars of our tax money just to protect people dumb enough to do drugs from themselves? If those drugs were legalized, the government could tax them. Also, more honest people could sell them as opposed to the "shoot em' up" drug gangs of today. Cigarettes and alcohol are legal, why can't the other drugs be? Some of the now illegal drugs can also be medicinal! Let's see cigars help cure illnesses! Let's stop wasting good money protecting the stupid and irresponsible from themselves!
Note on #8: Many of you may have seen that government ad saying that buying drugs helps acts of terrorism. This is true, a tiny bit. The TRUTH is that most drugs are from South America or even from our own country. Most drugs DO NOT support terrorism. Besides, following the Mikist plan of legalisation, the government could regulate the drugs so that they are surly not from terrorists.
9. Stop terrorism! Not only does it harm innocent people, it also angers people and can start wars! Terrorism is only used by those who are too irrational and ignorant to express their views in a civil manner.
10. Cease the senseless use of pickups and minivans! Pickup trucks are made to haul things in their beds and to haul large loads by trailer. Minivans are made to accomodate large numbers of people in one vehicle. Both are great when used properly. The probelm is, many owners of these vehicles do not use them for their intended uses. One, two or three people in a huge minivan! Souped-up pickups! Pickups are NOT made for RACING! Who invented pickup racing must have had the logic of a wooden board! Come on America! Either use these things for what they're for or get something else; you're wasting a ton of gasoline!
11. Let's re-think our music! Ever notice how the pretty boy and girl bands are always wearing microphones connected to amplifiers? That's because their singing alone is horrible! It must be modified by machines just so that it is tolerable! Come on, people! Can we not get the bands back that actaully have talent and can sing! A good musical band can do a lot more than just look pretty, dance, and lip-sync. That means you, Barbie, I mean Brittney Spears! She looks good, but she is the biggest sell-out in music history! Can't our young American girls find a a role-model that does not look like she came off a street corner? And the boy bands! They can't sing either. All they do is dance and look nice for their female fans! This is not really a political policy, it is simply something Mikism sees as annoying.
12. Learn to get along. We are all human beings here. We all have the basic needs of life. Just because someone is different from someone else does not give them the right to banter them (hey we've kept the Republcian jokes to a minimum). If people would just stop being so stupid and ignorant then perhaps we wouldn't have so many problems! For example, I hate country music. Other party members, however, enjoy it. Does that mean I throw them in trash cans and beat them until I force them to denounce country music and adopt my preference? No! That would be the stupid way to go about it. The right way to go about that is to just accept it and ignore the music when they turn it on. Enough said. Like the Mikist Party says: "FEEL THE LOVE!!!"
13. Stop the chain e-mail! It's not so much the chain e-mail that I find annoying but the THREAT found at the bottom of it! These internet imbicles THREATEN me with bad luck as if they had some sort of power over me! Ha! One chain e-mail promised me "lotz of bad luck" unless i sent it to over 5 people and promised that "my crush will notice or fall in love with me" (depending on the number of people I sent it to) if I sent it to loads of people. You know, the hard truth is that a woman worth noticing would think less of you for beleving in that gibberish! Really! Once again...not a political policy but something the Mikist Party finds annoying.
14. Stop "Computer Hitler", also known as Bill Gates. I know, comparing Bill Gates to Hitler is a bit extream, I mean, Gates isn't an aweful man, is he? We'll let you, the Mikist, decide. Back in the early days of computers (late 1970s and early 1980s) Bill Gates was just starting out in the computer industry. Back in those days, people SHARED software and didn't charge eachother. Then Bill Gates came along with a rather unpopular (at least back then), charging people for software. At first people just called him greedy and dismissed him, but soon others joined him. They realized the enourmous profits to be had in this system. Bill Gates can be given credit for his intelligence, beacuse he and his team ran into the ground all early competition (especially Apple who has still not given up on peddling their inferior software). Soon Gates and his company (Microsoft) had a stranglehold on the industry. He eventually had every computer company (except Apple) put his Windows opperating system on every new computer. He eventually became even more greedy and made new rules for his software. For instance, if you have two computers and have the systems share the same CD-ROM game, you are violating Mircosoft policy! In other words, Bill "Hitler" Gates expects you to buy TWO of the same game if you are going to play the game on two different computers! And as you know, Microsoft products are not cheap (over $100 for an operating system and over $30 for games). So, should we go back to the days when software is shared freely, or should we continue to deal with the Microsoft coparation (the governament thinks so...after the Clinton administration spent a good deal of time and money trying to end the reign of Microsoft, the Bush administration, immidetly after coming to power, dismissed all charges). So is Bill Gates a man of greed? Once more, you decide...
15. The question of music sharing first came up in 1999, when the Napster site was taken down by major bands for allowing its users to share music for free. It then left the public spotlight until recently, when other sharing programs have popped up (Kazaa being one of the major sharers). Kazaa not only allows for the sharing of music but of movies, games, and operating systems. The Mikist Party has decided to take a neutral stance on the copyright infringment issue for the cuurent time, as the party sees both sides of the issue. Is it right to pay $15 for a CD to a band that already has more money than most of us will ever see? But is it also right to slowly chip away at industries that have practically shaped American culture and life for decades upon decades? Hard questions indeed. |
