| The Mikist Party Welcomes Your To Our SENSELESS PAGE! Nothing to do with Mikism, but more fun than a barrel of Mikism none the less! |
| Bored? Here are some senseless and absurd things to do just for some cheap amusement! Enjoy and vive Mikism! |
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| A GOOD 13 THINGS TO DO AT A BOWLING ALLEY AS SAID BY CHAIRMAN MIKE: 1. Go back to the soda machines and buy a ton of caffine. You're gonna need a lot of energy to do all this... 2. See how many balls can go down the alley at once! Only anti-Mikists use just ONE! Try two, then three, and so on until they get stuck or until the bowling alley staff escort you out of the building (be sure to put up a loud fight if that occurs. Mention that they can throw out you but they can never throw out the spirit of Mikism). 3. Make up strange names for yourself and be sure to put it on the scoreboard screen. Continueously yell out that name every chance you get like, "Yea, Mr. %&%$#$% got a gutter ball." Be sure your name contains obscene and profane language and funny sounding words. 4. Slide around on the waxed wood floor and inpersonate Michael Jackson. Then do other various slides and gibberish dances. Be sure to yell and sing as you do this in order to draw attention. 5. Make up new styles of bowling. Be imaginative! Do the army march style (march like a soldier up to the line and throw hard), Fred Flintstone style (the twinkletoe), and any others that you can think of! Be loud and creative with this one. 6. Offer to give all of the people around you (those you know and those you don't) hugs after every turn. Walk slowly toward them with arms spread. It creeps most people out, so this can be a lot of fun! 7. Take something from a companion and start using or pretending to use it (something petty like a soda bottle or towel works great). When they say that it's theirs and to put it back deny that they own it. Get into a loud and heated argument over the petty item. Keep it going for as long as they have interest in their towel or whatever. When they just walk away and forget it, hide it somewhere so you can get it going again later... 8. Do bumper bowling ON TOP OF THE BUMPERS! Roll the ball down the top of the bumper. This makes for a good laugh and usually knocks over a pin or two. 9. Be horridly critical of everyone who is a good bowler around you. Yell at them. This works great with strangers! These fun filled heated arguments can last a while if done right! 10. Coach! When a friend or even a stranger goes up to the line, go with them. Yell incouragement loudly as you run up beside them and slap them high fives after they roll. Just ignore that Nazi "one person on the lane at a time" rule! 11. Put superglue into someone's ball. When the unsuspecting yutz goes up and throws, the ball with them attached to it will fly into the pins! 12. Obtain a list of all of the bowling ally rules. Then see how many you can break simotaniosly! Try having several people on the lane throwing several balls at the same time while wearing regular shoes and yelling profanity! That's just a stupid example I thought up! I am sure that creative Mikist genious that flows within you can conjure up something even better! 13. Be sure to smile at the security camera as you walk out and wave happily to the people watching it as you walk out! Wish them a pleasant day... |
| 12 GOOD THINGS TO DO AT A BASEBALL GAME AS SAID BY CHAIRMAN MIKE: 1. Mock and sneer at the mascots. Yell at them. If they are in an inflatable uniform, be sure to bring a pin. 2. Stand up and alledge that those mascots are actually foreign assasins. Run fat and scream all the way out of the game. Be sure to tackle the mascot before leaving. 3. At some point in the game, begin yelling random profanity at the players. Point at them and laugh. Continue this until security pays you a little visit... 4. Bring your own mascot costume and run onto the field during halftime. Tackle the other mascots and proclaim supremicy. The run REALLY fast, those security guards have the advantage of not wearing a cartoon animal suit. 5. Run onto the field naked during the game. Why not? 6. When the announer begins speaking, quicly drop to the floor bowing you head and yelling "God has come!" 7. Go up to random people after a home run is hit out of the park telling them that their car has been it by the ball. See if any are stupid enough to believe you... 8. Get into a heated argument with one of those little kids at the game who thinks that they are the masters of baseball knowledge. Be sure to make it loud, very loud... 9. Ask one of the players to autograph your anal area. Give them a pen and drop pants. See what they do... 10. Make up your own Mikist chants and get people around you to sing them with you (this is really easy, people will sing anything). 11. Openly refuse to do everything that the Jubo Television screen tells you (if it says, "Stand Up and Cheer, stay seated and yell for others to do the same claiming it is a trick to convert them to the Green Party). 12. Bring your own baseballs and throw them into the game rabdomly to confuse the opposing team. Who says one person can make no difference?! |
| Note: If you actually do this stuff and get arrested, it ain't our fault! You're the one who did it! The point was that you had fun. No, Chairman Mike will NOT accept responsiblitlty or bring you bail money. Sorry. He would but we're non-profit and haven't the money for lawyers. |
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| CHAIRMAN MIKE'S GOOD THINGS TO DO WITH OLD BEAT UP KOREAN CARS: |
| 1. Melt down the body and make Mikist statues out of the metal. Sell them for high prices to stoned rich people who will buy anything. 2. Sexual activities. Just crawl into the bcak seat with your "friend" (watch out for springs sticking out of the seat) and have fun. Just tell your lover that your German sports car is in the shop getting serviced. 3. Take a hammer to it! 4. Take a bat to it! 5. Challenge people in other cars to drag races. When the police come, just leave. No one would suspect that a Korean car could go over 40 mph anyways (they can actually make it up to 80 mph if you force them hard enough). 6. Hire a private limo driver to drive your Korean car. This is something that has never been done before. 7. Give it to someone you vowed revenge on. Driving a Korean car is the ultimate punishment (I know, I own one of the stupid pieces of crap). 8. Get a someone drunk and offer them to trade cars (anything is better than a Korean thing). 9. Put a 500 watt CD system in to drown out the 1000+ watt road roar. 10. Bumper cars! 11. Put ice packs in it and use it as a cheap beer cooler. 12. Paint it pink, just for amusement! 13. Spray paint Mikist ramblings on it. The noise of the engain will get people's attention to look and the car goes slowly anyways. 14. Since this thing shakes more than a van full of stoned hippies, sell it to a lonly woman as a giant vibrator. |
| THE MIKIST PARTY DICTIONARY For when normal dialect isn't good enough. |
| (Not in Alaphabetical Order) 1. Scowl-angry or loathsome look. ex-The Mikist Party scowled at Al Gore's rambling nature speech. 2. Loathsome-hateful ex-The Green Party became loathsome of the Mikist Party. 3. Loath-to hate ex-I loath having to get out of this desk chair. 4. Scowl-the act of giving a dirty look ex-The Mikist scowled the drunken Nazi. 5. Yutz-a fool, possibly a Jewish word; I'm not sure ex-Al Gore is a yutz. 6. Krakow-a city in southern Poland. Sounds like Crack Hoe if said in Polish. ex-Polish people live in Krakow. 7. Tomfoolery-mischeif ex-The old man told us to stop the tomfoolery. 8. Monkey Business-mischief ex-The old woman told us to knock off the monkey business. 9. Munge-digging up the body of a dead woman and applying force to her stomach in order that bodily fluids flow out of the vaginal opening and into another's mouth. ex-We munged the body of the murdered college girl. 10. Felch-to ejaculate into one's anal opening and then suck it out with the mouth. The big gay man forced poor Little Timmy to felch him. |
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| The Top 10 Ways to Anger the Vice Chairman |
| He becomes angered over anything...he failed a lower grade for not being able to share...he becomes easily violent...he's the Mikist Vice Chairman! And these are the 10 best ways to piss him off... |
| 10. Sell his dog into the Twainese sex slave trade. 9. Rent out his car as a place to "get naughty" to random people. 8. Sell his house while he's gone, and use the money to purcahse a Pimpin' 1980's Caddie and some platform shoes. 7. Dress up as Santa Clause, go onto his roof, and drill a large hole. Then climb in and claim that you had to, as the chimney was too small. 6. Get a donkey intoxicated and leave it in his living room. No further explanation needed. 5. Rent out his kitchen to the United States Military for the purpose of housing Iraqi prisoners of war. 4. Rent out his kitchen to the Mikist Military for the purpose of drinking all his alcohol and eatting all his food. 3. Sell his property to Michael Jackson for the purpose of building a new Neverland amusement park to lure small boys into. 2. Lure him into the woods for a "hike", and then give him a cardboard box announcing that he must make ammends to nature for being a Republican before converting to Mikism. 1. All of the above, all at the same time. |
| The Best Things to Do Involving a Ford Taurus |
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| The Ford Taurus has been on the road since 1986 and was at one time the best selling car in America. Why does it get its own segment? We felt like it, and the Vice Chairman had one that we could take a picture of. So, here are the 12 best things to do invloving a Ford Taurus... |
| 1. Challege Korean cars to drag races. You'll be sure to win, Korean cars can't go over 50 mph. 2. Find a 1996-1999 model (like the one above) and count all the parts that are shaped like ovals. From the tail lights to the seat cushions, you'll be there for a while. 3. Taunt people in Korean cars. Just for amusement. 4. Decorate it with Mikist bumper stickers, paint, window clings, etc. This is a good idea for any car. 5. Sexual activities. Also, a good idea in any car. Your partner will be more impressed with the Taurus than a Korean car, so you won't really need the old "my German sports car is in the shop" story. Ah, hey, why not! Use it anyway. 6. Make loud noises in the back seat to annoy the driver. 7. Trade it in for some alcoholic beverages and a Mikist flyer. 8. There's a ton of these on the road (making them inconsicuous) so use it to spy on your local Green Party HQ. 9. Drive to a Mikist Party rally. 10. Save on gas (its a big car, so we hear), so get some yaks to pull it down the road. 11. Drive it into the inner city area. Be sure the driver is wearing chains and a pimpin' hat. Since "pimps" don't drive Ford Taurus's,, so it'll confuse teh dickens out of the inner city "G's". 12. See how many Mikist flyers will fit into it. |
| The Mikist Party Lists of Extream Stupidity |
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| Other Senseless and Stupid Things We Decided to Waste Space With... |
| Contact Mikism... E-Mail the Mikist Party at [email protected], or IM party leadership (Mike90886) with comments or suggestions for this section, or anything else you have to say... |
| Mikist Bowling |
| Mikist Baseball |
| Twelve Signs That You May be a Good Canidate for Membership in the Mikist Party |
| 1. Every conversation you have seems to end in a disturbingly pornographic way. 2. You can name ten or more shows aired on day-time television. 3. Your last relationship ended when your inflatable girlfriend exploded for reasons you refuse to reveal to any of your friends or family. 4. You have no idea what Mikism actually is; you're just here because you think some attractive women may be in it. 5. You realize women despise Mikism, but stay in anyways because you've got nothing else better to do. 6. Your answer to all foreign policy questions is "nuke the bastards". 7. Your answer to all questions in general seems to be "nuke the bastards". 8. You can't seem to stop making fun of Russia, and how lame their country has become since the height of the Cold War. 9. You can find an alternate sexual meaning to almost any word in the English language. 10. You're saving up $12,000 to purchase a herd of yaks. 11. You think everything is connected in some way to the Neo-Nazi/Green Party movement. 12. You wasted a minute or two of your life reading this stupid list. |
| Fun Fact: A glitch exists involving the 1996 Ford Taurus and 1996 Mercury Sable that we recently discovered. Any key from any 1996 Taurus or Sable will work on any other 1996 Taurus or Sable. We've also heard rumors that this is true for other models, however these are the only models we've tested this theory with. |