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| previous LEE |
Background Background1 Sister Early Years Early Years _2 Teens 20s-Beginnings 20s-Endings 20s-Loss 20s-Leavings 20s-Return 30s Sitemap |
| Facets: |
| Early Years |
| Highly strung It was my own fault you know. Parents went out and when they came home theyfound a little girl no more than 6 or 7 sitting upright in the dark of her room behind a closed door. it would have been 10.30pm ish. Mum and Dad came in to check on me, as they always checked on us both... They asked what I was doing staring up like that in the dark and the ingenuous child answered in all honesty... " I am listening to all the things people never say." From then onwards my parents delicately tiptoed around this child they did not understand. I cannot speculate as to what I meant... then. Too many years separate me from the wee small little girl I once was, but I do know their air around me from that point in time changed. I overheard conversations where I was referred to as "highly strung"... Tranquilisers and 7 year old ME Memories of the one small blue pill I took each morning and evening that made me sleepy and dosey at school... how over time the realisation dawned on me that what had been prescribed were tranquilisers. For me. For a little girl who thought too much and felt too deeply. Even then. Always. Fear of the unknown, of me. ..... Fear for me, trying to "socialise" me and assist me to cut the person I was born into the template socially acceptable... is this THE why?? Motivation I do know that whatever my parents did, was done in love, and I have learned to look beyond what WAS to the WHY.. It didn't help me find my way through to "fitting in" . Some of us just aren't meant to. I am still working on growing and accepting, and opening and being..and that is a big thing for me |
| Tracking and defining ME |