A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair
dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my
hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The
woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was
brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking
them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over,
onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head
phones and listened. This is what she heard.."breath in..breath out..breath in..
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A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of
wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend blonde friend from next
door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
"Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
"Ten," said Buffy. So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the
job, but she had 2 rolls leftover. "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of
wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!" "Yes," said Buffy. "So
did I."
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair
of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay
the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper
said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a
big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on
catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman
standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge
9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the
creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches
in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and
frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes
with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just
couldn't! The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her
breath. The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and
the top is down."
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A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign
that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there
about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch.
After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you
settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."
The cashier leaned over the counter and said:
"Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg"
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A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked
and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The
police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling
nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with
his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop
and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down
on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help,
and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"
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