THE BELL (AWAY) - Thursday, 22 May 2003
| The grounds of University College, Chichester were the setting for the third match of the season, away to the Bell (aka The Bellenders). We were treated to what might be termed seasonal weather, namely a windchill level that would have sent brass monkeys migrating to warmer climes and induced Captain Oates to remain in his tent with any ideas of going out for some time kept to himself. As it was, it led to Neil Holmes begging for spare sweaters and, when the search yielded none, to phoning John Simons, ostensibly to bowl his medium pacers as the Loafers were a man short, but in actualit� to visit chez Holmes en route and retrieve an extra layer of clothing. By the time that the good Samaritan Simons had turned up with the object of Neil's desire, the Bellenders had won the toss, elected to bat, begun to bat, and were what our Gallic non-cricketing friends would describe as dans la merde. Holmes and Gary McDougall opened the bowling, and after ten balls or so of watchful defence, punctuated with the occasional single, the Bell kindly obliged the Loafers with a flurry of wickets, McDougall picking up three for 7 off his two overs with Holmes adding a fourth in an accurate spell. By the time that Windsor "The Cat" Holden induced an edge to provide Keith Budd with a catch behind the wicket in the fifth over, the Bell were 15 for 5 and looking down and out. Enter "Brian" and "Ben". (Pub cricket scorebooks working in a somewhat different way to those produced by Bill Frindall, the surnames of these fine batsmen have not been preserved for posterity.) Brian proceeded to lay about him with abandon until - under Bellender tradition - he was obliged to retire at 25. At this point Nick Pennicott entered the attack, first bowling Ben for 22, and then capturing a second scalp with a ball that pitched some six feet outside off stump: the generous batsman took several steps towards it - still barely managing to reach it - and popped it into the hands of an astonished Neil Holmes at slip. Two more wickets were lost to run outs - the second a comedy of errors where McDougall dropped a catch at mid on then hurled the ball past the bowler, only for confusion to reign amongst the batsmen as they attempted a second run and allowed Tony Eastwood ample time to return the ball from mid off. With nine wickets down, Brian returned from the pavilion only to see John Simons administer the coup de gr�ce by bowling his colleague, and the Bell were all out for just 79. In response, loafing openers Neil Holmes and Alec Walsgrove, evidently deciding that the warmth of the pub was Priority Red One, began with a flurry of twos and fours, enabling the Loafers to speed past the 50 mark before both retired. Their replacements, Tony Eastwood and Nick Pennicott, kept up the good work, with Eastwood showing a marked reluctance to run, dealing solely in boundaries. When he was out for 16, lofting the ball to square leg, three runs were needed for victory. However, Pennicott was bowled for 6 in the following over without addition to the score, and with the rain spitting down it was left to Burford and McDougall to wrap things up and enable the Loafers to celebrate their first victory of the season in the bar of the Bell. Loafers won by eight wickets |
Skulking Loafers Fixture List 2003
