index_r

NICE GUY EDDIE: Okay, first things fuckin' last!

JOE: You don't need proof when you have instinct.

BLONDE: I don't give a good fuck what you know or don't know, I'm going to torture you anyway.

WHITE: If you shoot this man, you die next. Repeat. If you shoot this man, you die next.

PINK: I'm very sory the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.JOE: All right ramblers, let's get rambling!

PINK: Is it bad?
WHITE: As opposed to good?

WHITE: If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in.

BROWN: Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Shit.

JOE: And you are Mr. Pink.
PINK: Why am I Mr. Pink?
JOE: Cause you're a faggot, ok?

PINK: How about I be Mr.Purple?
JOE: No, You can't be Mr. Purple.
PINK: Why not?
JOE: Someone on another job is Mr. Purple!
WHITE: Who cares what your name is?
PINK: Oh yeah that's easy for you to say you've got a cool sounding name. How about we trade, OK? You're Mr. Pink.

PINK: You kill anybody?
WHITE: A few cops.
PINK: No real people?
WHITE: Just cops.

PINK: Somebody's shoved a red-hot poker up our ass, and I want to know whose name is on the handle!

BLONDE: All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you aren't going to get.

BLONDE: Either he's alive or he's dead, or the cops got him... or they don't.

BLUE: Our girl was nice.
PINK: She was okay, but she wasn't anything special.
BLUE: What's something special? Take you out back and suck your dick?
NICE GUY EDDIE: I'd go over twelve percent for that.

AZEEM: The hospitality in this country is as warm as the weather.

ROBIN: And you! You travel five thousand miles to save my life and leave me to be butchered!
AZEEM: I fulfill my vows when I choose to.
ROBIN: Which does not include prayer time, meal time, or any time I'm outnumbered six to one!
AZEEM: You whine like a mule. You are still alive.

WILL: There was a rich man from Nottingham who tried to cross a river. What a dope, he tripped on a rope. Now look at him shiver. Beg for mercy rich boy!

SHERIFF: You! My room. 10:30 tonight. You! 10:45... And bring a friend.

AZEEM: I once heard a wise man say there are no perfect men. Only perfect intentions.

GUY OF GISBOURNE: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
SHERIFF: Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt more!

SHERIFF: Wait a minute. Robin Hood steals money from my pocket, forcing me to hurt the public, and they love him for it? That's it then. Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!

MORTIANNA: ...recruit the beasts that share our god.
SHERIFF: Animals?
MORTIANNA: From the North!
SHERIFF: You mean... Celts! They drink the blood of their dead.
MORTIANNA: Yoke their strength.
SHERIFF: Hired thugs... Ahh brilliant.

AZEEM: Salaam, little one.
GIRL: Did God paint you?
AZEEM: Did God paint me? For certain.
GIRL: Why?
AZEEM: Because Allah loves wondrous varieties.