Welcome to my site, Loud Jaded Opinions; my name is Lisa and I'll be your host for the evening. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.
This is my homepage, comprised of quotes I like, some of mine and other people's poetry, some original fiction, some of my theme songs, and some humourous vignettes about life in general and my life in particular; that would be the opinions. They're not in fact especially loud or jaded, but it's part of it and I came up with it because it matches my initials. I thought that was a nice personal touch.
You may have noticed, or you will notice, that there are no original (yes, thank you, Matt) graphics on my site. This is because I would rather make them myself and, though I now have the program, I'm not very good with it and don't want to subject anyone to my early attempts. Just sit back and enjoy the quick loading, okay?
I'll start with the quotes ... I don't have any attributions, but none of them were said by me. Some are well known sayings, some I've just picked up from assorted whereabouts and a few my unintentionally funny friend has said. They're split up into funny, or at least my idea of funny, deep or inspirational (yes, some are vaguely vomit-inducing, but I quite like them) and insulting. Don't use these last on people you like, and remember, original insults and witticisms are far better than borrowed ones, unless you have the ability to raise one eyebrow, which is better than anything else and you probably don't need any of these.
While I'm on the topic of stuff I find useful but which I didn't technically create, I'll do the songs - these are some of the theme songs of my life, and the words are almost guaranteed to mean nothing unless you hear the music, but you can probably download them from somewhere. If I can recover from just getting a site up I might even figure out how to let you hear them from here. So, songs. The first is probably a common favourite of many post-nineties females, Meredith Brooks' Bitch, which is not as scary as it may sound, but very upbeat and pleasant for singing loudly when there's no-one else in the house. Another one that has many more bpm than the title implies is Life's A Bitch by Shooter. It's good. Just look at the lyrics quickly. Go on. And the last is not strictly a song - more an essay over a tune. It is of course Baz Luhrmann's Sunscreen which really has some good advice if you pay attention. The last is my theme song, or at least has a few lines which are my themes Your Winter is more 'rock' than most of my favourites, but I like this one.
I'll quickly finish off the other people's property with some of their poems. I'm not a big poetry fan (I tend to think that if it doesn't rhyme it's really just a paragraph split up oddly) so there's not much here; some Dorothy Parker because she is very good and a few others I read and liked. None are serious. And if I've got theirs up, I suppose I have to have some of my own, so here they are. None of them are really serious either. Optional extra is a series of limericks I wrote about some of my friends while bored one English lesson, so if you a) want to know about them or b) want to see some examples of really bad rhymes, check them out.
If you want to see how I write a slightly longer piece, a story I wrote, again for the English lesson, is Does My Libido Look Big In This?. I'll just explain that one a little; we had to write about ways in which woman still are not equal, and I chose to do the double standard over promiscuity - a man is a stud, a woman is a slapper. It sounds heavy, but I seem to be unable to write in any other style but comedic, so it's actually quite funny.
And so on to the bits and pieces which give the site its title - I don't really know what to call them, but here they are anyway; again, they're funny, they're different lengths and they're split into sections for your reading pleasure.
If you're not a very nice person and/or need/would quite like a laugh at someone else's expense, check out my computer issues. And I haven't even gone into the constant crashing and disconnecting.
As you may have gathered, I'm still in school, so naturally I have some stuff about that. Mostly it's about exams, because I don't really mind school all that much. It's just the having to wake up at seven o' clock that I object to.
My general observations about life are not terribly coherent but they make a kind of sense if you suspend disbelief for a little while.
The last lot are just general, but just as valid as their more meaningful cohorts. Which probably isn't very much, but it's best not to focus on the negatives.
Want to know about my future plans, or at least part of them? Why I Never Want To Live In London is about ... um, why I never want to live in London.
That's it apart from the basics ... an egotrip you'll have to be pretty bored or curious about what sort of a person did all this to read (it's an All About Me page, if that was too obscure; obviously, the whole thing is technically about me, but this is specifics). There's also my links, which is fairly uncomplicated; it's a list of the sites I like to visit. Check them out. They're all active and interesting. Webrings can also be accessed there. Oh, what the hell; and from here.
If you want to get in contact with me, and please do, email me here. Even if it's only to tell me that my site is f***ing s**t, but please be aware that any such responses will be met with the assumption that the sender is unable to grasp sophisticated humour, and I will be feeling superior. Though if you're sending stuff like that, you're probably not too bothered what I think of you. Off that tangent, I'd love to hear from you, and I'm very likely to respond.
My ICQ no. is 77196434 and I'm online a lot; again, I'll talk to pretty much anyone.
