Five Years In Half An Hour
My Phone Bill Runneth Over
I just upgraded my computer from Windows 95 to 98. HOW stressful? I'm not great with computers, so wasn't sure how it worked or whether I would lose everything already on it. A little pathetic, I know, but hey. The title refers to the five years of my life I'm sure I lost in the length of time it took it to install. At one point, I was ready to scream. At least it worked.
So I finally have the internet at home. The phone bill thing is actually a misnomer, becuase the internet is free as long as you make �10 worth of calls per month with the same company, but hey, it's a catchy title. (I thought, anyway).
It's actually been pretty much an anti-climax - I've wanted the internet for ages, over a year, because all my friends have it and my favourite show (yes, Buffy) has mutiple sites dedicated to it so I can find out what went on in America (Sky is actually only like a week behind, but I don't have sky so I'm stuck with the sporadic showing the BBC manages). But I'm looking forward to setting up a website (watch this space!), so that could be fun and I can do some exploring that goes a bit further than Buffy sites, hopefully.
There have been quite a few trials and tribulations before getting it, though. The ad appeared in the paper. My dad rang up for information. They sent a letter. Three weeks later they sent a CD-ROM. Two weeks later the BT man came to put in another line, becuase we're not in the cabled area. (Last few steps in frenzy of anticipation). Finally - last Friday. New phone line is installed. CD-ROM is here. Wa-hey, no?
No.
Spend half an hour on the sodding registration process (interrupting both parents at work for various details)' can't complete it. Leave for a while, because I suspect it's trying to get onto an internet site and maybe that's the trouble. Go away. Watch taped episode of Ally Mcbeal. Come back. Try again. Still not working. Get annoyed. Ring very expensive technical support line, speak to useless man who obviously knows nothing about computers and takes half an hour to tell me the very, very basic problem is, my computer's not up to spec. Get frustrated, but am polite to dimwit anyway. Find out how to get more RAM (this is the problem). Father's ex-wife's husband comes over with computer type man, who opens up computer (to my silent horror) and says he will come back Tuesday with relevant bits and pieces. Due to computer man, am ten minutes late to meet friends at train station, ensuing hour-long wait for connection, much anger directed at self.
Spend Sunday, Monday, Tuesday morning in similar agonizing suspended thrill. Man comes. Adds RAM in like three minutes. Helps set up the connection, with computer-illiterate father making inane comments in background. Man is paid. Man leaves. Further inane comments. Dad leaves. Am left alone with computer. Huge excitement. Computer crashes. Excitement dimmed while computer restarts. While trying to change user name from that of father and password from v. long, complicated string of letters and numbers, do something odd, rendering both username and password unrecognisable to system. Fear of impending second very expensive call for help to technologically dumb mouthpiece. Give up (pretend problem does not exist). Go on some other sites. Send some joyous email. Computer crashes again.