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Computer
Bill Bill And Boris
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with
God. During dinner He told them: "I need three important people to send my
message out to all people. Tomorrow I will destroy the earth"
Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: "I have two
very bad news items for you:
1. God really exists, and
2. Tomorrow He will destroy the earth"
Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them:
"I have Good news and Bad News:
1. The good news is: God really does exist
2. The bad news is: tomorrow He's destroying the earth"
Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily announced: "I have two
fantastic announcements:
1. I am one of the three most important people on earth
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved"
Moses in our time
My wife was teaching her nursery school class about Moses receiving the Ten
Commandments. She told them it was a long time ago and paper had not even been
invented. So she asked the class how Moses was able to remember all that God
told him on Mount Sinai. A four year old replied, "He saved it on a
disk."
Bill Gated Dies
One day, Bill Gates died. He went to heaven where St Peter was waiting for him.
-"What should I do with you ? Shall I send you to Heaven for spreading PC
on earth, or send you to Hell for making Windows 95 ?...Well, I'll let you
choose ok ?"
-"Ok" Bill answered. He looked att Heaven and what he saw was a guy
cleaning his cloud. Bill looked at Hell and what he saw were beautiful babes
lying on a hot beach.
Bill came back to St Peter and said: "I choose Hell !" Immediatly he
was in Hell, surrounded by dozens of ugly daemons who tortured him.
-" But that is not what I saw !!!!!&quuot; He said. And a deep, terrible
mighty voice from beyond answered: -" WHAT YOU SAW WAS A DEMO !"
Bill Gates Dies 2
Bill Gates dies in a car accident.
He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a
computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly
Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm
going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it
will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters
and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and
frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very
pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY
want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps
and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how
he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall,
screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is
awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe
this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful
beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???"
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter.
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