posted August 02, 2000 11:45 PM               

In you face!!!

posted August 02, 2000 11:53 PM            

on accident even...

Dev

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"Superboy, we just caught this superspy! But why is he laughing at you?"

"HA, HA! Tell him...If you dare!"

posted August 03, 2000 08:57 AM            

Loser, hats off to you.

Dev

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"Superboy, we just caught this superspy! But why is he laughing at you?"

"HA, HA! Tell him...If you dare!"

posted August 03, 2000 11:16 AM            

Dev

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"Superboy, we just caught this superspy! But why is he laughing at you?"

"HA, HA! Tell him...If you dare!"

posted August 03, 2000 11:22 AM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by bellbookcandle:
Therod - that backs up my theory that there's always the same amount of total weight in the world. If you lose a few pounds, someone else puts them on.

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Yeah, my wife hates it when I point out that she didn't really LOSE any weight, it's just on my side of the bed, now. It's not lost at all.

posted August 03, 2000 01:39 PM               

Well, I'm of to lunch at my moms. Another 5lbs. maybe. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

posted August 03, 2000 03:13 PM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ample Man:
5'11"

Let me get the calculator for these h/w ratios

Lardlad: 5'8" = 68 inches; 68/230 = .296
Dev-Em: 6'4" = 76 inches; 76/265 = .287
Ample: 5'11" = 71 inches; 71/258 = .275

And the winner (or is it loser) is: Lardy! No, wait the high height/weight ratio is better isn't it? Does that mean I win/lose?

Okay, I've got a target now: 71/x > .287, so x being my weight needed to elect Dev-Em as the Tug-of-War anchor = 247 lb.

I'll check back in 11 lb. (or is that -11?)

Ample Man (who remembers why he thought he'd be a good math teacher)

---

Yaaaaayyyyy! Lardlad is STILL the undisputed leader of the LMBP Heavy Squad! Maybe my total weight wouldn't make me the anchor on that tug-of-war team, BUT I'm STILL technically the fattest by fat-to-weight ratio! Yippee!

Now, is that a reason to or ?

posted August 06, 2000 02:00 AM               

On a day unlike any other, Young Daeleus Gawain was trapped in the halls of hallowed learning at Ohio State University. Not finding the direction of his life going in the way he desired, He decided to volunteer for a top secret military experiment. Arriving at the base and being strapped into the electromagnetic paticle accelerator, an accident of catastrophic proportions occurred. While the particle accelerator was making mincemeat out of his DNA patterns, a television transmission of the "Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers" TV show was intercepted by the accelerator. The resulting backlash caused the powers and abilities of Doctor Walter Hartford, Shane Gooseman, and Niko were all imprinted on Daeleus's genetic structure. Escaping from the military base with his new found abilities, Series5Ranger fights for truth, justice, peace, and his latest Legion fix.

Powers: Series5Ranger can adapt his genetic code to handle any type of threat, whether Biological,Technological, or Enviromental.
He can also create Super Programs with the PDU he carries with him.
He also possesses certain psychic powers such as telekinesis, and clairevoyance. He can also read an objects "psychic signature"

Series5Ranger's main weakness is that he must recharge his powers every 24 hours in the electromagnetc chamber.

Thank You and Good Night.

posted August 07, 2000 01:56 PM               

A long time ago (4 months), in a city not to far away (depends where you are at). Rudy was in charge of this wife's daycare, while she recovered and rested from giving birth to their first child.

The children were playing with the action figures Rudy had collected over the years and with the Barbies that had been bought for the daycare. After about ten minutes, the children were bored and wanted to do something else, so Rudy told them that if they behaved they could play with HIS favorite toy. HIS Nintendo 64. The children promised that they would be little angels. After the Barbies and action figures had been put away, the children started playing Nintendo. (Rudy did not allow them to play the violent games even though they begged). As he looked on, the children played Mario Kart and one of them pulled back on the controller, (as if that would keep his character from crashing). The game started falling to the floor and not wanting anything to happen to his favorite toy, (because his wife would not allow him to buy another if it broke) Rudy ran to catch it, but tripped on the containers containing the action figures and the Barbies. As he fell, he brought the Nintendo and the games down with him. When he opend his eyes, he saw the children laughing at him as he lay there on the floor with games, action figures, and Barbies all around him. His wife ran into the room with a look of concern in her eyes, "What happened?" she said, looking at the mess on the floor which included her loving husband.
"I tripped." answered Rudy and out of nowhere she started laughing. "Thank God," she said, "I thought maybe one of the children had gotten hurt," and with that she went (laughing) to the room. After picking himself and the mess up, he set up the nintendo for the children again, but this time, he thought that he noticed that Mario would wink at him, but he dismissed it to the fall he had had earlier.

Later that night, Mario came to Rudy in his dreams. "Rudy," Mario said, "I have come to let you know, that you know have special powers, which you must use for good." "I do," said Rudy. "You do," said Mario. "What are they," said Rudy. "Well when you tripped earlier in the day the nintendo hit you on the head, thus giving you the power to become any character in the nintendo games you own and also any figures you own," said Mario. "Whoa," said Rudy. "Also," continued Mario, "any games and/or figures you buy, those characters will be added to your powers. You will also posses the powers of those characters and figures." "O.K.," said Rudy, "So I have the power to become any character in the games I own and the figures I have and to use their powers." "Right," said Mario. "What about characters from my comic book collection," said Rudy. "Sadly, no," responded Mario, "If you would have tripped over your comic book collection, then yes, but you didn't." "Bummer," said Rudy. "One final thing," said Mario, "when you use your powers, you will shrink to the size of the character you become and you will have no control over which one you will become." "WHAT!" exclaimed Rudy. "Sorry, but I must leave now," said Mario, "and remember use your power for good." "Wait," said Rudy and with that he woke up.

"What a weird dream," thought Rudy, "Man I need to go to the bathroom." As he got up he stepped on something. He bent over to pick it up and to his surprise it was a little red hat with an white M on it. "Well" thought Rudy, "My mission is clear, I will see if that universally famous group known as the LEGION of MESSAGE BOARD POSTERS will accept me as a member, so that I can fight evil and injustice by their side, but first, I need to go to the bathroom." And the rest is history.

Oh, and Ample, Lardy, and Dev(Anchor), don't worry I won't use my powers during the Tug-o-War.

posted August 07, 2000 09:40 PM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by Therod:
Oh, and Ample, Lardy, and Dev(Anchor), don't worry I won't use my powers during the Tug-o-War.

---

posted November 01, 2000 04:58 AM               

The Secret Origin of Faraway Lad
One day meek mild mannered civil servant Darden Coulthard was walking his two dogs on
the beach when his attention was caught by a strange glowing piece of wood. Walking over
to it DC dug it out of the sand. It was about 1 foot long, flat with a slight bend in the middle. All along one side the stick was covered in primitive drawings. With the dogs going mad around his feet DC took the only sensible option, with a dismissive flick of the wrist he launched the stick into the air.
��There you go girls fetch�� he shouted. Imagine his surprise when the stick started to turn in mid air until, with a soft plop, it landed in the sand just behind him. ��Hey what do you think of that girls, he said it��s a go away come back again stick��. For many hours the easily amused man and his dogs played with the ��hadaway comebacker�� then DC decided it was time to go home, with an almighty throw he launched the stick into the sky. Up up and up it flew, passing, as luck would have it through the tail of a small shooting star. Slowly the stick turned and headed back to Earth. Faster and faster it fell back towards the ground bounced off the head of the luckless hero and landed upright behind him.
�Ouch�� he said rubbing his head and turning to pick up the stick. There was a sudden flash and facing DC was.........his double.
��Mine I believe�� said a voice from behind DC ��with this stick, I, Behind you boy, will rule the world��
��Yelp�� and ��gulp�� went our hero and suddenly found himself far far away from the beach.
Later finding his bemused way home DC ruminated upon this strange turn of events. Then he cleaned up his ruminations and slide them into the bin.
Later that week further strange events occurred which confirmed that his obscure chance contact with a shooting star he had developed Faraway Powers. It was at the office when everyone was discussion
the latest scandal. ��Why didn��t I know about that�� said DC ��was I faraway when it was discussed? Mmmmmm, that must be it I have been given super powers, I can never be in the right place at the right time , I��m always too faraway to hear what��s happening, I must use these powers for world
peace, I must join the Legion of Message Board Posters. The rest is, or will be history.

Editors note
Much later, after a run in with the Anti LMB, Faraway Lads powers mutated to include an overwhelming powerful f**t capable of rendering unconscious anyone within 50 feet. This power is triggered by eating Brussel sprouts, curry or drinking large amounts of old peculiar bishops finger. It also has the effect of keeping all members of the LMB as faraway from FL as possible, especially after one of the LMB��s rigorous training sessions in the bar.

posted December 01, 2000 02:32 PM            

Sure, I freely admit it. I don't know how to do all that kewl stuff you guys do. I'm more of a literal thinker at heart who has never really been able to write like that.

Thank you for the bump, Therod!

posted December 01, 2000 03:16 PM            

Well, now I have the ID, the power, but no origin. 2 outta three ain't bad!

posted December 01, 2000 04:24 PM            

"Believe it or not, I'm walking on air..."

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Dev Em (Anchor Boy of the LMBP)

posted December 01, 2000 04:32 PM               

Okay you have a sonic scream and you can fly. Okay, I have an idea. Stay tuned to the LMB stories that are going on right know. Carrina, I hope you like the way I'm going to put you in to LMB continuity.

Therod

posted December 01, 2000 04:33 PM            

In keeping with the Highlander thing.

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Dev Em (Anchor Boy of the LMBP)