posted May 10, 2000 08:29 AM               

27 years ago a fiesty young lady call Annak MacNeil met the man of her dreams only to find out he was the demonic Satanicus Omega!

Unfortunatly he had impregnated her with his dark seed. In despair she ran away in to the night lost and alone until a kindly gentlemen found her and took her to the temple of the holy Squirtle which existed between Earths dimension and Satanicus dimension.

There the child Paulus was born and raised by Squirtilian monks to use his deadly stare for good and to fight the evil influence of Satanicus Omega.

One day after a rather unfortunate accident Satanicus managed to break through in to the Squirtle dimension and destroyed it. Fearing his corruption Paulus escaped in to Earth dimension and descovered the LMB.

There he took sanctuary preparing for they day he will have to use them all as cannon fodder in his fight against his father.

posted May 10, 2000 12:08 PM               

;-P

posted May 13, 2000 04:14 AM               

ORIGIN:
Young Bill was on top of the world. The ultimate winner. High School valedictorian, Class President, Captain of the three-time Planetoid Champion Moopsball team, it seemed he could do no wrong.

After receiving a full scholarship to attend Metropolis University on Earth, Bill has his sights set on bigger and better things. Graduate in three cycles, a professional Moopsball career, marry his High School sweetheart, a budding holo-vid star. He had the tools, the ambition, all he needed was a little good luck, which he had in spades. What could go wrong?

Bill excelled in his Freshman year at the University, holding down a 3.8 GPA, a starting spot on the team, even an internship with the prestigious Metropolis Branch of S.T.A.R Labs, an honor rarely extended to first year students. That's when it all came apart.

Late one night, while finishing up some research in S.T.A.R.'s Humanoid Curiosity Ward, he heard a loud crash from an adjoining room. Rushing in to see what had caused the commotion, Bill was attacked from behind, and knocked unconscious. When he awoke, he was in a private room at Metropolis General, surrounded by doctors. The chief resident explained that he was under examination because he had been bitten by a radioactive loser, who had escaped from his restraints in the H.C.W.

When Bill was released from the hospital, he felt different. His confidence shaken, he began, for the first time in his young life, to falter. He began to oversleep, missing classes, and shifts at the Lab. In his first game back, he fumbled twice, then was sidelined with a back injury after tripping over his own untied shoelace. His grades slipped, he lost his interneship with S.T.A.R., and , perhaps worst of all, his girlfriend dumped him and ran off with her agent. It was during this time that Bill first experimented with alcohol, a since almost constant companion.

Unable to cope with the recent changes in his life, Bill sought the help of a doctor with whom he'd worked at S.T.A.R. After a battery of tests, it was determined that the radioactive loser bite had infected Bill with negative energy, which manifested itself in the series of bad moves and hard knocks he had suffered.

Months of intensive therapy followed, and in time, Bill learned to externalize the "Loser Energy" within him, allowing him to direct it at others, instead of himself. He found, with practice, he could will bad luck upon others.

Soon, with his confidence restored, Bill left S.T.A.R. Labs. On his own, unable to return to the wreck of his former life, he decided to start anew, using his "Loser Power" for good. Taking the name Loser Lad, Bill applied, and, with a little un-characteristic good luck, was accepted for a spot in the budding LMB Academy. He worked hard, and eventually became one of the first Academy students granted full membership in the LMB.

POWERS:
Loser Lad harnesses the residual Loser Energy in his system to create self doubt, lack of motivation, and bad luck in others. The Loser Power can be focused on a single opponent, causing extreme uncoordination, lack of confidence, absent mindedness and misfortune. It can be spread to affect many opponents, causing general confusion. The full extent of this power is yet unknown. Harnessing the Loser Power requires great concentration. When Loser Lad is distracted, he has been known to "leak" Loser radiation, affecting his allies and teammates, generally resulting in drunken mayhem.

posted May 13, 2000 06:56 PM               

Shady-

Very interesting take on Loser Lad's powers. I hadn't really thought about that aspect of the Loser Power, but I suppose with practice, he should be able to draw loser energy out of those already posessed with it, and redirect it, either into himself, or into others.

As for expelling it into the cosmos, I'm not sure that would be such a good idea, as eventually, the free-floating cloud of loser energy would have to land somewhere, causing possibly disasterous effects. Imagine an airline pilot, with a plane load of travellers, suddenly encountering a concentrated field of loser energy as he makes his approach to land. Losing all hope/concentration/good fortune, at a time like that could be very bad. I see Loser Lad as not only a conduit for this energy, but also a battery, being able to store it for later use.

I hope the LMBer in need of the winner energy here is not you. You may think you're having a run of bad luck of late, with the job hunt and all, but I assure you, you're not a loser. Things will turn around for you in no time. As LMBers go, you're among the best of us, and I'm sure you'll rise to the top. Keep smiling

Bell-

I think if Loser Lad was in any way, shape or form responsible for the creation of a new Bill Clinton, he'd hang up the cape and retire to the Humanoid Curiosities Ward himself.

posted May 14, 2000 12:45 AM               

As Bill/Loser said: Shady, you are NO loser! Everyone has runs of bad luck, but the positive energy you possess translates extremely well, even if only through your written words. Just keep trying and someone will recognize what you have to offer! The REAL losers are those who pass you over in the interviews!

posted May 14, 2000 12:55 PM               

Genetically engineered rather than born, SharkLad, a.k.a. Bruce Brody, traces his origin back to the laboratory of famed geneticist Dr. Helena Aurelius. Shunned by the genetics community for her radical ideas, Dr. Aurelius had long conjectured that the future of life in the galaxy depended on the breeding of humans with animals to create a master race capable of surviving almost any environment. After much failure and the creation of several species unfit ever to leave her laboratory, Dr. Aurelius came up with her most daring design � a human shark. Combining her own DNA with that of the ocean�s greatest predator, along with traces of other predatory animals, Dr. Aurelius �gave birth� to SharkLad. The young aquatic being grew quickly, reaching maturity in less than a year. Dr. Aurelius beamed with pride at his advancement, while his genetic �siblings,� especially the aptly named PsychoticBeaver, grew bitter and jealous. On SharkLad�s first birthday, Dr. Aurelius had planned to unveil him to the greater galaxy. However, tragedy struck when PsychoticBeaver attacked and killed Dr. Aurelius, mortally wounding SharkLad at the same time. PsychoticBeaver and Dr. Aurelius� other creations fled the laboratory, leaving SharkLad with no alternative but to infuse himself with larger amounts of shark DNA to bolster his strength. The infusion saved SharkLad but he was hideously disfigured, becoming more shark-like than human in appearance. Preparing to leave the laboratory, SharkLad discovered the gift his �mother� had planned on giving him on his 1st birthday � names. Bruce, from the name of the shark in the movie �Jaws,� and Brody, from the name of the police captain in the same movie. Shortly after he entered society, SharkLad encountered the LMB. Though he initially found himself at odds with them, SharkLad eventually realized that they could provide him with a much-needed outlet for his often-submerged human side. He is drawn particularly to Shady, whose morale-boosting power often manages to soothe his animalistic side.

SharkLad is unaware of two things in his life. Despite his efforts to find PsychoticBeaver and his other �siblings,� they are closer than he thinks. Also, he has a �father.�

SharkLad�s Powers

SharkLad is the perfect killing machine. At seven feet tall, SharkLad is somewhat skeletal in appearance, with an oversized head and mouth. He has a large dorsal fin and eagle-like talons for hands and feet. He can breathe and swim great distances underwater and his body can withstand great pressures. SharkLad�s is a case where his bite is worse than his bark. Along with being able to eat through just about anything or anyone, his �shark bite� is a flurry of projectile teeth, which he fires with remarkable precision. Despite his ferocious appearance and �killer smile,� SharkLad is a loyal teammate and he would never intentionally hurt a fellow LMBer.

posted May 15, 2000 02:31 AM               

The Secret Origin of---

HUMMER LASS!

<Shady, you might want to skip this one!>

Prudence Goodwyfe was a porn star wannabe. She wanted ever so desperately to be a porn queen since she first reached adolescence.

The main problem was that Prudence wasn't sexy in the traditional sense. Heck, most men thought she was a dog! That was a big roadblock for her. But Pru had a great love for the male organ, and she felt this career choice would give her the opportunity to meet the best there was too offer. But audition after audition after audition met with countless rejections.

To build a favorable reputation, Pru and a gay man, Bygg Jonsonn (who had a similar dream), founded a "shoe shine" business. The business went okay because the prices were low, but in truth neither was an especially good "shoe shiner".

Then one day, Pru and B.J. had an unusual client. This man was a descendant of Superman. Only the descendant hadn't inherited his famous ancestor's powers. The only unusual thing about him was that he had two, um, "shoes". He wanted Pru and B.J. to "shine" each of his "shoes" at the same time.

As the pair finished "shining" the man's "shoes", a strange thing happened. The "shoes" exploded rather violently and covered the pair with their, um, "debris". Pru and B.J. felt strange as it changed their bodies. Suddenly, homely Pru began to transform into the hottest babe this side of Pamela Lee XXXIV! From head to toe, Pru now had a bod any heterosexual male couldn't resist! B.J., formerly about as handesome as David Byrne XXV, was now quite Fabio XXXII in appearance.

Slowly, the two adjusted to their perfect bodies. They soon found that their lust for "shoes" was unparalleled and insatiable! Donning S&M costumes and the identities of Hummer Lass and B.J. Boy, the two began a career of what can only be described as hit-and-run attacks designed to satiate their urges for "shoes".

The LMB have been frequent "victims" of their guerilla attacks. Strangely, the male LMBers never seem to mind these attacks.

Hummer Lass appears to favor Lardlad above all other "victims", something about his "shoe" being the fattest of them all.

Strangely enough, Hummer Lass to this day is still technically a virgin.

POWERS

Hummer Lass can "shine shoes" better than any other female in the galaxy. She is also among the most pornographically appealing women in the galaxy.

posted May 15, 2000 05:53 AM               

Once-upon-a-time,
a long time ago (well, not THAT long ago),
there was a little girl
whose mom didn't think it was proper to name a baby Candy
but thought it made a good nickname for Candace,
so Candace, she became.

'Mom' wanted a frilly daughter with pipe curls and ribbons,
who played with dolls and was sweet as Candycanes.
Much to her chagrin, she got a changeling child,
an opinionated little tomboy URCHIN who loved animals and art but HATED dresses and dolls!

'Mom' felt utterly betrayed by the Doctor Fairy
who had promised that THIS child would be everything the woman had struggled for and dreamed of.
Totally unable to deal with the changeling,
the woman withdrew inside herself,
only coming 'out' to cook and clean
and mumble secret wards & spells.

Candy felt abandoned but being the changeling she was,
liked being alone, tramping in the forests and marshes,
in communion with the animals and fairy tale worlds of her imagination.

In this mode, she grew to be a woman with a wistful and far away look in her eyes.

On a gentle, spring morning,
our changeling,
tired after MANY travels and adventures,
both real & imagined,
sat quietly on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
A narwhale was feeding in the little bay below her
and the gulls drifted overhead in the breezes.

After a time, the morning light lengthened to afternoon warmth and a shadow fell across Candace's (as she now called herself) face and she looked up.

Above her, floating in a nest of golden bubbles
lay a Sea Otter with 2 babies resting on her tummy.
The nest slowly descended to just below eye level
so that the Otter could lean her head back over the edge of bubbles
and look up at Candace without having to change positon or disturb her sleeping young.

"I'm your 'Spirit Guide', dear," said the Otter, "it's time for you to choose."

"Um, choose what, exactly?" asked Candace.

"Whether you shall be a Lady of Shadow or a Lady of Light," replied the Otter in a whispering wave of a Voice.

"I don't understand," Candace said.

"In the Universe, on the one side, there are the Lords and Ladys of Chaos, the Unpredictables.
On the other side are the Majesties of Order, the Laws."

Candace was silent, thinking on these words.

"You are a changeling, thus you have power, thus you must CHOOSE."

The babies began to 'fuss-el' so the Sea Otter rearranged herself and them so that the infants could nurse.
Candace watched this 'production' and when the babies quieted so that only their soft suckling and the waves could be heard, she asked a question.
"May I choose a third path?"

The Otter looked startled and grew very still.
"What would you choose?" she asked.

"I would choose to be the bridge between the two,
then perhaps, both ways could flourish.
There could be endless diversity and surprise
based in clear possibilities and purpose."

The Spirit Otter smiled, her long trailing whiskers brushing Candace's cheeks, making her smile, too.

Soon, the air began to dance with more and more sparkeling bubbles.
Mounds of bubbles that filled the cliff and flowed down to the little bay
until the narwhale paused in it's eating of krill
to joust with the cascading bubbles of light
that burst with 'giggles' and 'whoops'
whenever his magical horn touched them.

"So be it," purred the Spirit Otter, "A Lady of Balance, of the Compassionate, shall you be."

The golden bubbles formed a glowing nest around Candace,
lifting her into the salty winds,
which carried her to the enchanted Land of Internet
and to the exciting Kingdom of the Legion boards
(greatest Champions of Balance!)

As the bubbles gently set her down in this longed for kingdom,
the Sea Otter's voice drifted through the threads,
"Thence-forth, shall you be known as
Shadowplay in Candlelight, Lady and friend."

Um, the rest is history.
POWERS ~
1. usually seeing most of the sides of any issue and trying to clarify and/or bring compromise or humor or huggies to the debate
2. flirting
3. never being afraid to let the people around her know how wonderful and unique they are
4. keeping an eye out for people and trying to understand how they're feeling and being concerned for their welfare
5. listening
6. offering words of encouragement or advise (whether it's wanted or not)
7. LOL, a lot

posted May 15, 2000 10:19 AM               

------------------
!!!!!-jace allen, P.R. director of C.R.O.W.W.
(()) -member of the Ethan VanSciver fan club!
!!!!!-the aspiring artist formerly known as gl-phreak(though probably unknown to most)
//-member of the JSAAA
//-TheMightyFanBoyMan Lad of the LMB
// AolIM:StarMan853

posted May 15, 2000 06:38 PM               

(okay, so I'm showing my love for the "Honeymooners"!!!!)

Thank you. That was absolutely incredible. Pretty much the same as the author.

posted May 15, 2000 08:26 PM               

LOL

Although, Bell made me cry.
Your timing is so great, even if your mind hasn't quite caught up, yet.

I'm glad you're back, Beagle, luv.