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C H A R A C T E R
“Watch your
thoughts; they become words.
Watch your
words; they become actions.
Watch your
actions; they become habits.
Watch your
habits; they become character.
Watch your
character; it becomes your destiny.”
- Patrick Overton -
Contents
Vocabulary
Overview
Contrast of Good
Character and Poor Character
Honesty
Integrity
Integrity -- Where can I
get some?
Quiz
Vocabulary
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Overview
If you are a young person in
middle school or high school, you are living through an exciting, but
confusing, time of your life. When you were
younger your parents made the important decisions. But now, more and more, you are expected to make the vital
decisions that will determine your values. Your happiness and self-pride depends on the
quality of the decisions you make. The
ideas expressed on this web site can help guide you during this pivotal time of
your life.
Character
(the quality of a person’s behavior) is revealed by his/her thoughts and
expressions, attitudes and interests, and actions. Parents, friends, social atmosphere, economic life styles,
institutions such as churches and schools, etc, influence the character each
person develops. However, while you may
be influenced by outside sources, you, and only you, have the final control in
determining the makeup of your own character.
You are the one who determines
whether the values you choose to live by are constructive or
destructive. The thousands of decisions
you make while developing your personal values become an integral part of your
character. Your strength of
character helps you make wise or unwise, sensitive
or insensitive, decisions. A
person whose character reflects high quality values has greatly improved
his/her prospects for real success and happiness.
Real success and happiness come
from:
the development of high
quality personal values
a determined
personal effort
the courage to
make your personal values a living part of your everyday life
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Contrast of Good Character and Poor Character
Obviously, there are people with
good character and people with bad character.
Listed below are some of the
traits of a person with good character (high quality values):
|
Honest
|
Trustworthy
|
|
Respectful
|
Responsible
|
|
Protects Environment
|
Sets personal goals
|
In contrast, a person of poor character
(low personal values) demonstrates these kinds of traits:
|
Dishonest
|
Untrustworthy
|
|
Threat to others
|
Uncaring
|
|
Threat to environment
|
|
Irresponsible, does not fulfill obligations.
|
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May set goals, but they are often destructive.
|
It is important to understand
that most people do not demonstrate all the high quality character traits or
all the low quality character traits.
Most people fall somewhere in between.
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Honesty
Honesty
is perhaps the most fundamental value of a person with good character. Without honesty, other character traits such
as building trusting and respectful relationships will be impossible to
achieve.
Being truthful can sometimes be
uncomfortable. However, if you believe
that it is wrong to lie (and you know it is), you need to find the courage to live up to your belief. Sometimes the truth might lead to
consequences, but it is wrong to lie in order to avoid punishment.
If you believe that it is wrong
to cheat (and you know it is), then again you need to find the courage
to live up to your belief. Remember
that cheating is a deceitful way to accomplish a goal, and will always do more
harm than good. A student who cheats on
a school test harms his/her own character by becoming a person who can’t be
trusted. It is wrong to cheat,
even if it means failing a test.
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Integrity
By reflecting on the ideas
expressed on this web site, we hope that you will be able to:
determine your own personal
values, and
develop a plan to strengthen your values.
A person with integrity is a person who lives up to a high code
of behavior. Such behavior includes
honesty, trustworthiness, being respectful, and having a sense of justice and fairness.
Throughout this web site you will
find words such as integrity, high personal values, high
quality, and good character used over and over again. There is a common meaning to these
terms. They all refer to a person who
is loved and admired by others because of his/her character. Hopefully, these terms refer to a
person like YOU! You have the ability to be admired and loved
by others. By controlling your own
behaviors and caring about others, you can be a person with integrity!
To develop high values, which
establish you as a person of good character, will not always be
easy. People of good character often
will make very different decisions.
They may have different, but sincere, opinions about religion, politics,
education, environment, economy, and a host of other matters. The common thread though, is that they will
respect the fundamental traits of honesty, rights and safety of others,
commitment to obligations, etc.
As you develop your own personal
values, there will be times when you have conflicts with what your family
wants, what your friends want, and what you want.
Example: Jimmy is
12 years old and in 7th grade.
Jimmy’s older brother Sam is a member of a local gang and wants Jimmy to
join. Several of Jimmy’s friends also
want to belong to the gang. Jimmy’s
parents are afraid for his safety and want him to stay out of trouble. Jimmy knows right from wrong, but he also
loves his brother and wants to be with his friends. This is a very important time in Jimmy’s life because decisions
he makes now will be very difficult to change later.
It will take courage for
Jimmy to live up to the values which he knows are right. If he decides not to join the gang, he may
be threatened, called names, and even assaulted.
However, if Jimmy can
find the “courage” to stay out of the gang because he knows that gangs do harm
to themselves and to others, it will be one of the most important decisions of
his life. One that he will not regret,
and will bring many rewards.
In most situations, most of us
know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. The hard part comes in resisting the
pressure of others, or the temptation of personal gain.
“Whether you think you can or
think you can’t, you’re
right.”
-
Henry Ford -
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Integrity
- Where can I get some?
A person with integrity
must have control of his/her own behaviors.
It takes a conscious effort and must be reinforced over and over again.
While few of us have the ability
to play professional basketball, we do have the ability to improve our
basketball skills with effort and practice.
It will also help to have instruction on how to improve our basketball
skills. Once we know what to do, we
must practice, practice, practice! The
more we work at it, the better basketball player we will become. This is also true with football, soccer,
golf, typing, chess, etc. Once we learn
what to do, we must practice our skills.
With sufficient effort, we will get pretty good at it.
Learning values isn’t any
different. You have already learned the
difference between right and wrong. With personal effort you will learn more. It is your job to practice what you
learn.
WHAT YOU DO FAR OUTWEIGHS WHAT YOU SAY!
If you practice negative values
such as stealing, lying, bad language, threats and violence, you will get good
at them. This, in time, will become a
part of your character. You will
become a person of poor character. There
are many serious consequences as a result of this type of behavior. Bitterness and unhappiness will certainly be
the end result.
On the other hand, if you
practice positive values, such as honesty, respect to others, and fulfilling
obligations, then this will become a part of your character. You will become a person of good
character, a person with integrity.
It is important to consciously make decisions based on high values, but
be sure that your decisions go beyond words; they must be backed
up with actions.
“I
shall pass through this world, but once.
Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any
human being, let me do it now. Let me
not defer or neglect it. For I shall never pass this way again.” -
Author Unknown -
It is not good enough to make one or two decisions based on
what is right, and expect that you are a person of good character. For your efforts to be effective, and to
truly become a person with integrity, you must practice making decisions
based on what is right over and over again. Do it until it becomes a habit, and then keep on doing it! The ultimate result of this type of effort
will be happiness and success.
Example:
Sean is a 14-year-old 8th grade student. He should be a high school freshman, but was
held back a year as a result of poor grades and poor behavior. Sean has a reputation with teachers as a
troublemaker because he repeatedly disrupts instructional activities in the
classroom. He also creates a bad
influence on other students.
Sean
realizes that his poor grades and bad reputation have prevented him from being
promoted to the high school with his friends.
He is embarrassed about having to remain at the jr. high school. The Principal has offered to promote Sean to
the high school in the middle of the school year if he improves his grades and
behavior. Sean accepts this agreement.
Sean must now act in order to
accomplish his goal of going to the high school at mid-year. His agreement to the conditions offered by
the Principal has no value unless he backs it up with action.
The true test of whether
Sean improves his character is the long-term effect. Assuming he is able to meet the conditions of the agreement, will
this change in character continue at the high school and on into the future? If so, then Sean will become a person of
integrity. His chances of real success
and happiness will become greatly advanced.
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Quiz
Directions: Complete the following
exercises. They are not tests, but
should be used as a learning tool to help you learn. You should think through a concept and complete the
exercise. Then you can immediately find
out if you have learned correctly by reviewing the answers at the end of the
exercise.
1. Match the following:
|
_____courage
|
|
a. A
state of mind, characterized as a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment of
one’s circumstances.
|
|
_____values
|
|
b. Moral
rightness, fairness, concerned with right or wrong, and the difference
between them.
|
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_____effort
|
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c. The
ability to meet danger without giving away to fear.
|
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_____sensitive
|
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d. The
achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.
|
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_____justice
|
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e. Living
up to a high code of behavior; a capacity of being honest and trustworthy.
|
|
_____success
|
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f. The use of physical or mental energy to
achieve a desired outcome.
|
|
_____happiness
|
|
g. Principles, standards, or qualities
considered worthwhile or desirable.
|
|
_____integrity
|
|
h. Being aware and responsive to the moods and
feelings of others.
|
2. The quality of a person=s
behavior is his/her __________________.
3. Name three traits of a person of good
character:
a)
b)
c)
4. Name three traits of a person of poor
character:
a)
b)
c)
5. Select
the three items below that would be consistent with the high values of a person
with integrity.
- Respects, honors, and obeys his/her
parents.
- Hates people due to the color of their
skin.
- A gang member who carries a knife.
- Admired and respected by others because of
his/her good character.
- Finds a wallet with $100, pockets the
money, throws away the wallet.
- Leader of the student drive to say no
to drugs.
6. To
become a person with integrity, we must learn about high values and then
_____________ using them over and over again.
Answers: 1.
c, g, f, h, b, d, a, e 2. character. 3. Any three of the
following: honest, trustworthy,
respectful, responsible, sets personal goals, protects the environment. 4. Any
three of the following: dishonest,
untrustworthy, threat to others, destructive to environment, irresponsible,
uncaring, substandard goals. 5. a, d, f
6. practice
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Character
The quality of a person’s behavior.
Synonyms: identity, make-up
Courage
The ability to meet danger without giving away
to fear. To have the
courage of one’s convictions.
Synonyms: bravery, strength
Antonym: cowardice
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Effort
The use of physical or mental energy to achieve
a desired outcome.
Synonyms: try, endeavor
Happiness
A state of mind; happiness is characterized as
a feeling of
satisfaction and fulfillment of one’s
circumstances.
Synonyms: content, well-being
Antonyms: sadness, discouragement
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Honesty
The act of being honest; high integrity,
truthfulness, sincerity
Synonyms: decency, righteousness
Antonyms: deceitful, falsehood
Integrity
To live up to a high code of behavior. The capacity of being honest and
trustworthy.
Synonyms: honor, dignity, decency
Antonyms: deceit, worthlessness
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Justice
Moral rightness; equity. Honor; fairness.
Synonyms: equity, fairness, right
Antonyms: inequity, wrong
Sensitive
Being aware and responsive to the moods and
feelings of others.
Synonyms: considerate, tactful
Antonyms: insensitive,
indifferent
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Success
The achievement of something desired, planned,
or attempted.
Synonyms: accomplish, attain
Antonyms: failure, defeat
Values
Principles,
standards, or qualities considered worthwhile or desirable.
Synonyms:
quality, worth, merit,
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vocabulary