Two die in Meron Lagoon shipwreck
by Procopio Paganpan III
IN LIGHT of a recent popular movie, a small raft sank in
the Meron Lagoon, taking with it two unidentified teenagers.
The aptly named TAYTAYNIC was last seen floating upon the
murky waters of the lagoon. Witnesses say it only took ten minutes for the
boat to sink. Forensic scientists revealed some startling information upon
examining the flattened wreck. The boat sank due to small puunctures and
not a huge gash according to popular belief. Those who thought it was an
iceberg are now being treated for extreme stupidity. Those who still think
it was an iceberg should have their heads examined.
Speculation abounds as to the ill-fated TAYTANIC voyage,
but most still grieve the loss of the two unidentified teenagers found floating
beside the plastic of the raft. It would be strange to think they drowned,
seeing as how the Lagoon is only 4 foot deep.
Incindentally, Meron Lagoon has also been affected by Red
Tide, which could also have contributed to their deaths. Due to the reddish
tinge of the algae in the water, the Admi has considered changing the name
of the Lagoon to the more appropriate Meron Na Lagoon.
| ON RECORD SPECIAL!
WORST PICKUP LINES EVER HEARD:
“You know what? I think we have
the same teeth. You have fangs, and I have fangs!”
—Rommel Orbigger, alumnus
“I’ll be your king if you’ll
be my queen.”
— Chess player Dong Mayabangan
“I’m developing in the darkroom
right now. Want to join me?”
— Malfred Endoza, Cameraman
“Bond... Let’s Bond.”
— Malann Dy, Lampoonist
“Akala ko kasi crush mo ako eh.”
— Gino Arriola, IV BS ISKANDAL
“My carpool left me. Can you drive
me home naman?”
— Lolita Desperada, I BS KapalMuks |
|
ADMU WebChat now online
by Pat Chat
TAKING ADVANTAGE of the growing popularity of web-based
Internet chat among Ateneans, the Ateneo Internet team recently launched
CHATENEO, the ADMU web site’s own web-based chatroom.
Located at http://165.220.5.12 (Yeah, right), the chatroom
features several channels, accessible from the HotJabba Stations in the
Rizal library and in Faura. The partial list of chat channels are as follows:
Matanglawin Chat
Indulge in the Filipino art of Kabas Tusan., with misspelled Filipino swear
words. For adults only.
DSWS Chat
Have you lost something? Check DSWS’s virtual lost-and-found service!
Engage in engaging chat with Jay “The Man” Tan and Robert “The
Gremlin” Ramos. Not for boys.
Babble Chat
Join the Babble online and read their favorite cheers in the loudest text
you can type! Learn the lyrics of Blue Eagle the King. For loudmouths only.
ROTC Chat
Exchange experiences of Saturday torture Be there for cyber-hell night!
(Bring your own virtual paddles.) For Masochists only.
Philo Chat
Ano ang meron? (In English, what is the meron?) What is the meaning of life?
What is the essence of the transcendent metaphysical Cartesian paradox as
translated by neo-Thomistic post-reflective inquiry? And why? Lundagin mo
beybe! For the pilosopo only.
Fr. David Chat
In this spinoff from Philo Chat, students sit in a virtual circle and learn
to read three hundred pages of Plato in just under an hour. For The Republic’s
glory.
SAWI Chat
Meet members of the Samahan ng mga Walang Iniibig, as they bash energizer
couples and PDA. For the torpe and pangit only.
JC Chat
No one there.
CHAT OR DIE
The exclusive COMELEC chatroom, with virtual wrestling against Leland “Mr.
Slim” de la Cruz. Don’t forget to vote! For Candi(ce)dates only.
Coño Chat
Wow naman, you know. It’s, like, a chatroom. That’s parang, like,
you know? It’s totally galing talaga. For the pathetic only.
Math Chat
What is the reciprocal tangent squared to the power of the quadratic permutation?
For the socially challenged only. |