Science Complex to be leased
to Victoria Court
by El Niño
THE NEWLY constructed Ateneo Science Educational Complex
that was scheduled to be completed within the year has mysteriously lacked
funding and has turned to leasing out the building to Victoria Court to
keep the project afloat. In a unanimous decision by the administration,
leasing rights were formally offered to the proprieters of the popular Victoria
Court chain. According to the contract, construction would be completed
and operation of the complex would be run by Victoria Court for the next
ten years before being handed over to the Ateneo de Manila University. “Being
a frequent guest at their establishment, it gave me the honor to sign the
lease!” says an unnamed administrator.
The estimated one hundred million peso complex had been
reduced to a budget of just under a thousand pesos upon the dramatic devaluation
of the peso and the mysterious disappearance of the head accountant of the
project, Donald Trumpo. “He’s the only one with the combination
to the safe, so I have a feeling he was kidnapped. It’s been three
weeks since he’s been missing, and we’re still waiting for a ransom
note,” retorts head architect, Anthony Gutierrez. The Trumpo family
could not be reached for comment as they are currently vacationing in the
Bahamas.
With the lease of the building to Victoria Court, Atenistas
have something new to smile about. Featuring fully air-conditioned rooms
and massage parlors, wide screen televisions, videoke bars, and ceiling
mirrors, among other amenities, the new Victoria Court Katipunan is bound
for success. Highlighting the rooms are the six-foot diameter circular,
vibrating, 100% silk sheet, heat absorbing beds with shock absorbers and
heart-shaped pillows. “I know where my new tambayan is!” replied
a plucky Annie Konyo (II BS SexEd). |
Lovers jump off Lambingan Bridge
by Tita Nick
A TRAGIC fate befell two star-crossed lovers last February
12. Leoncio Da Carpio (IV BS Romance) and Kata Winslat leapt to what they
planned as their mutual doom.
After falling the three feet into the river, University
guards found them playing dead. When the guards attempted to rescue them,
they kicked back the guards and yelled, “Patay na kami, patay na
kami sabi, eh! Please leave us alone!”
The two began their ill-fated affair with passion and zest.
The bridge had a significant impact on them. “I saw him by the bridge,
making boso to the frog having sex … He was so cute!!! …
The guy, not the frog,” Kata said. |
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