Redheaded Ramblings
Paige's Diary Entries...
Early Regency Solace/Worth Vialle/Fortunes/Pattern Daeon/Twins/Lilly Coronation/Pregnancy Motherhood/Marius Lucas/Xanadu
On Daeon and Children
(5 Archer)What can I say about him? Mysterious, gorgeous, godlike if you will. Perhaps I was at wits end; perhaps I thought he truly knew what it would take to heal himself. Who am I kidding? He was a breath taking man who wanted me and as has been well documented, I have little willpower. I'd love to chalk it up to rebellion; to the idea that by blatantly ignoring social customs and such I was proclaiming my freedom in the face of the returning elders. I can't. It was something more primal than that.
I could fall forever in those eyes, depths unplumbed. But it's not love, it's... Hells. I don't' know what it is.
Goddess, why didn't anyone warn me that he was fertility incarnate? I always assumed that my control over Pattern would let me avoid children until I felt I was ready, or things settled down, or Martin� Well, anyway, it didn't. I suppose there's always the other option that I did influence Shadow Amber (the best term I have for our home currently), maybe subconsciously.
Aidan and Nadia?
Forest and Sylvia?
I suppose if Jules rescues, ransoms, or redeems him from Arcadia I should allow him an opinion on the matter. It's folly to believe that I expect a girl and a boy, but from the stories Lilly's offered and what else I've gathered on Daeon, it's not to be ignored, either.
I want to rage at moments, to scream and rend the very fabric of Shadow. Doesn't he owe the woman some warning, some explanation?
Shouldn't the woman have asked?
I wanted children, but not like this. I would've been happy to be Alain's for as long as he would have me. I still could be someday. Heirs to a shipping fortune, and the good wife. Alain doesn't want to marry me; he's made that clear enough. I could love him and bear him the children, the heirs he wants, but I could never be the wife he wants, I fear. And he must know it as well.
And how could I ask him to live with my godlings? This is silly and pointless. The bottom line is...
No matter what Julian says about staying around others, I'm alone in this. Or at least that's how it feels. Folly and Lilly are there for me, as is Solange I expect, but it's not their drooping breasts or stretched stomachs, is it?
And now that it's just me feeling sorry for myself, it's time to put this aside for the night.
Paige
On Lilly
(1 Archer)Gods! She's gorgeous. Lithe and graceful with every movement, she's everything I'd expect from Uncle Benedict's daughter. Dangerous to the core.
Especially to me.
They say that lilies weren't always white; that once they were clothed in red.
She's amazing clothed in red. It suits her. Perhaps it's the implication of her martial nature, a vision of her in battle... But that's the philosopher in me, not the bard.
They say that Cupid was playing with his mother, Venus, high above the clouds, and in their delight he expressed a drop of milk from her rubied nipple. It spilled from the sky, painting the lilies of the Earth white.
Somehow a rather erotic little story, especially for me, the pregnant woman, even if it'll be months before I'm expressing milk.
White. Purity from the Goddess of Love.
Damn, I hope she doesn't ever fall to my charms.
She's quick and fiery, as passionate as I am, I can see it in her core. But she's lost in her emotions, a foe she's never faced. So young, so vibrant. I can't ever remember being that young.
She seems to think that I can help steer her through the rapids of Court society, so that she might serve Vialle all that better, and I'd assume, her father. Surely she must've heard of who I am and the reputation I have. So why hasn't she run?
Benedict's daughter, the Knight Commander? Probably doesn't know the meaning of retreat. A strategic withdrawal to rally the forces, but never a retreat.
Or maybe she's just genuine, unlike the rest of us here in Amber. Maybe my best advice would be to send her on her way, before she's corrupted, before she loses the whiteness of the lilies.
Paige
Last updated 05/14/2003 - Editing. Comments?
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