My Thoughts

I used to think that its cruel that fat people are not attractive, and the fat people usually turns out to be someone who have no temper at all, funny, and easy to get along with. It usually hits hard when it comes to finding partners, especially for the fat female.

It made me ponders why fat people are generally not visually attractive. Well, fat people are usually unhealthy people, they have a higher chance of getting diseases like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart attack, etc. And fat people usually give birth to fat children. If you look at the evolution side of human being, being not visually attracted to a fat person, ensures that the human generation will continue to steer towards the healthy side.

Well, of course for some fat people, its not in their genes, but in their living behavior, and of course, some people will still look for fat people as partners, but the visual attractiveness part keeps that to the minimum.

Cruelty or Evolution?

One of my business-inclined friend asked me this question, "If you have 6K debt each with 3 credit card companies (making it 18K debt), and you only have 6K cash, what would you do?" And I told him, I would pay off one of the credit cards, not realizing that the answer that he have in mind is totally different.

He asked me, "you know what's the problem? the problem is that you are trying to solve a 18K problem with 6K, you should actually use the 6K to generate 18K so that you can solve the 18K problem".

Well, at first it sounds so logical, and enlightening. Yet at second thought, its childish to think of the way that he thinks though, you already get into a 18K debt by trying to make more money, if you try to make 18K out of the 6K you have, what makes you think you won't have debts of 36K at the end of the day?

Well, though its hard, I still feel that the proper way of getting out of this is just to work hard, and pay off your debt slowly, even though it might takes 5 to 10 years to do so. Greed Kills.

I have heard about stories of how poor people of my parents' age are like 30 years ago, when even chicken is a luxury, only available on big dates like the Chinese New Year. But some things never became so clear before it meets the eye.

Having my usual lunch of chicken and vegetable, with a cup of teh tarik, my eyes set upon the security guard for my office, eating just a roti kosong, and ais kosong. I think a normal security guard might make around RM500-RM1k a month, maybe more, I am not sure. I was just thinking, what kind of lifestyle would I lead if I only have a RM500 income.

Sometimes, we took so many things for granted, and stopped to appreciate all the little things that we experience each day. Every time we took a piece of chicken, every time we took a t-shirt out of our closet, every time we took a ride in our car, we have taken things for granted, and always felt unsatisfied with what we currently have.

Everyone knows we should be contended with what we have, but not much people could practice it from day to day, including myself.

Got some counter arguments today about my previous thoughts on Difficult People, well, felt that I should post it here so you guys can get a read. There are no arguments from me, because I refused to, ;)

Never argue with an idiot, people close by may not be able to tell you apart

Its a chance HE gave you to improve yourself, on how to deal with the idiot, if you succeed, you are a better person at the end of the day

Its a chance for you to show how forgiving, and loving you can be, by forgiving the idiot, and still love him

HE let you chance upon this idiot, because HE knows that there's no other person that can handle it better than you can

So, see it not as a curse to come across idiots in your life, but see it as a blessing, that you are given a chance to improve yourself.

Have you asked yourself what makes you happy? Is it relaxing, lying on a bed listening to your favorite music, is it singing your heart out in a karaoke session, or is it playing your favorite instrument? Is it going for a tour, is it dining at romantic and exquisite restaurants, is it buying new clothes?

Some people sought happiness from external factors, some people from within. The former will be forever playing a catch up game, as the external factors always changes, and people do get bored and tired of going to the same place for tour, dining at the same restaurant, and wearing the same clothes. When the excitement is over, more and more external factors are needed to make one happy.

Happiness should be sought within, how do you make yourself happy when you are alone, in your house? If you have an answer to that question, then you can almost be guaranteed of eternal happiness for yourself.

A friend told me that he felt that the proper way of living, is that we could buy things that we want to buy, eat things that we want to eat, and drive cars that we want to drive, without thinking whether we can afford it or not. We should not compromise because we could not afford it. Such are his dreams, and now he is working hard to work towards it.

5 years ago, I would have started the debate of what is the purpose of life with him on the spot. Now, I would just nod my head, and tell myself, Understandable but not Agreeable.

When someone gives an opinion about something which we do not agree, we should try to understand it. If we do understand why he or she is thinking in such a way, then we should not start a debate about it!

My friends who are into MLM and direct sales, would always ask me the killer question, "What is your dream?". Well, its a killer question for me, because I could only answer "to do what I enjoy doing.", and most of the time, they don't take that as a valid answer. Most of them goes like, "I would want to be able to buy a BMW 5-series.", or "I would want to have enough money to start a business of the field that I enjoy" etc...

A one day trip to Pulau Ketam, made me ask myself the question, "if I ask the people in Pulau Ketam, what is their dream, what would be their answer?". Which is certainly an interesting one, maybe its just as simple as to have a biggest house there, or maybe just to have a happy family.

Dreams, seems to be directly influenced by the environment, if you have never seen something, you would never have dreamed of having it as your dream. And, if you see dreams as goals in your life, wouldn't it mean that people who have seen less, dream less, making their dreams/goals easier to achieve, and make them more satisfied with what they currently have?

The rape cases in Malaysia, happened at at alarming rate of 3 females being raped each day. Yet I have some female friends, who still drives home alone after 10pm at night. When I told them about the high risk of being a victim, they will give excuses that they have to finish their work before they go home, saying "its not that I want to stay late you know...".

A good question to ask, is what will make you go home earlier? Seems that having a statistic of 3 females bring raped a day is not enough. Is having a colleague of yours being raped enough to make you? Or do you need a close friend or a close family member of you being raped to make you?

The important thing is not the answer to the question, but the realization of such questions.

Probably most of you have read this before, but this article rings in my heart very loudly every time I read it. It made me realize that I have went through a lot of things, simply because I taken the steps to walk through the door in the first place.

I have this friend who is not particular charming, and is single. Sometimes, I advise him to have a good haircut, wear some nice clothes, and be a gentleman. But he will tell me, "If the girl does not like my current look, she won't like me". And I usually will remind him of the salty coffee story, where the small things that brings two people together, to have a chance of advancing their relationships, might not even matter in the end, because of the amount of experience that both of them have went through, at the end of the day.

Enjoy.

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,let me go home.. suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, why you have this hobby?

He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea , just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there".

While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,has responsibility of home.. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date.

She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:

"My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I wanna tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I don't wanna miss U, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life. Even though I have to drink the salty coffee again ,I don't mind taking that for you".

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.

Sometimes, we became so much of an arrogant idiot, that we failed to respect others for who they are, what they do, and where they thing they are heading. Respect others, they are not inferior, just different.

If you are a Christian, stop thinking that non-Christians are doomed because they are not. Respect their choice, they are just on a different way.

If you are a BSD zealot, stop thinking that Windows and Linux are for idiots. Respect their choice, they are just using something different.

If you are a jazz musician, stop thinking that pop fans are inferior, they just enjoy the simpler expression of music.

If you are into Rich Dad/Poor Dad, and had sorted out your millions making plan for the coming 10-20 years, stop thinking that people who are working their ass off and do not have a plan are stupid, they are just on a different way.

Respect.