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16th September 1997

Well it's a few days since I last wrote, but the main thing is that God's still blessing me more each day. I wonder at times why I do not go to sleep then I find out why, God wants me to speak to someone. It happens, just when I need the rest.

Anyway, I wrote to my fellowship here in Kalgoorlie, and now I am waiting to hear if I am allowed to return. I'm waiting as it will show the way they will react. I know some will quote Leviticus, and other biblical areas, and I will ask where is their love? We will see.

28th September 1997

You think that it will be smooth sailing with God.   Well it's not.  He has a tendency to throw you into situations that just are incomprehensible and difficult. They are tests of faith.

I have yet to hear from the fellowship, but then again I should ring. I just am afraid of not being allowed to fellowship and learn.  I will see how things go this week.

Talking of trials, God allowed me to test my faith in Him and my strength in Him. I had a real shit (apologies for the words, but it was worse than bad) week. There have been problems at work, and as a result I'm having to look into ways of solving them using people in authority.

It's not often that I get so upset about the things that are going on, but when I do - look out.

I made a mistake, and I have apologised for the mistake, yet man will not let go. This is a flaw that he has. God on the other hand just says, "OK you messed up, you've seen you have made the mess, and you have asked forgiveness... no what is your problem?"  He's forgotten already.

Tonight, I was in the #GayChristian channel and there was a young gay lady who came in and we chatted. She was down, but God ministered to her and the others through the chatting. She left for dinner with her dad feeling happier. I pray that God will help the healing process at home. I believe he will.

After the trials of this week, I am learning new ways of defense and attack.  God's got me in training. Not to attack the people around me, just get to the root of the problem and destroy it. It's gonna take prayer and more, but God and I will get there.

I'm not the sort of person to give up easily, but I almost did this week. Today though, I have the strength to carry on and WIN the fight that God has me in. He will provide the armour and the army.  The battle is His, and the war is His. He will win.