HOUSE OF PAYNE INTERNATIONAL: Archive: GMP
The Gold Monkey Project: Episode ??
Subj: Monkey business
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2001 4:51:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: TIMOTHY FRANTZ
To: John Payne
It is three days after we last checked in on our little band of forest dwellers. Chisaibu has, after much pondering and meditation (and checking through all of Shaft�s things until he knows them better than he knows his own), taken to eliciting all the hidden secrets and knowledge of trap-making of the ages from his newly acquired treasure in the way most respectful, most honest (shudder) and most likely to succeed that he knows.
He has spent the better part of the past two days talking to his new box.
Indeed, since such sacred knowledge requires deep focus, he and the box have been off by themselves. alone. Undisturbed. Well, there has been the occasional squirrel or deer, but he cleverly hid himself from these evil spies, these minions of his personal adversary, until they were convinced by the skillful application of thought control that he wasn't around and moved on. His delvings into these mysteries were revealing things Chisaibu is sure he would never have thought of on his own, Well, pretty sure anyway, when near the end of his second day of solitude his wanderings brought him across a body.
It is the beaten, battered and scarred body of a large warrior. He is injured but seems about to recover consciousness. He could easily be dispatched, possibly a good idea since there is something familiar about this man's armor and possessions. Very familiar. He could be another halfling thief cleverly disguised as a large human fighter! Chisaibu should probably kill him. But then again, He might learn something about disguise from such a one as this. Wasn't there something about a healer nearby? And a party he promised to attend in that town. This one could be the newest member of Chisaibu's Ultra-Secret Roving Rogues Society. The three of them striking paranoia into the heart of all the MoonSheas (a noble end unto itself), as soon as he tracks down the other member that helped with the recovery job by distracting the guards. Still... Maybe he should kill this guy and get it over with.
The big one is staring to open his eyes. Maybe Chisaibu should ask The BOX for guidance. (Your turn.)
Hey, you back yet?
Don't you just love run on sentences? I have a few things I'm avoiding doing on this pleasant day off. I guess I should get back to them. T.T.Y.S.
LONGSHOT
Subj: Business as usual
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2001 6:43:36 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: JPayne1138
To: [email protected]
Timothy!
Good to hear from you! I have been meaning to drop you a line, but it looks like you got to it first.
Seems like Chisaibu has exchanged one magic box for another. It is enough to make one wonder if perhaps these two boxes are really distinct and separate entities. Perhaps they are related. Or relatives. Perhaps one is the larval form of the other. One would think that the latter is the larval form, since it appears later, and boxes always live backwards with regard to the time stream. But one can never tell. Although two can. Certainly, though, Chisaibu can't tell. Who would he tell it to?
But there's something about this box that marks it as different. For one thing, it's more talkative than the last box. Which makes it seem more magical. And to be honest, Chisaibu never saw his ghost box do anything, so how can he even be sure it was really magic at all? Maybe it was just well-lacquered. (Although a really fine black lacquer job is a kind of magic unto itself...)
No, this box is special. Chisaibu has already witnessed its great powers, its ability to kill those who would plumb its abyssal depths to get at the treasures hidden inside. Yet it did not kill Chisaibu. It wounded him, but it was a wound of reproof. Like a mother bear slapping the paw of its naughty cub. In a way, this box is the father Chisaibu is convinced he never had.
Chisaibu also recalls the story of the great old god who sacrificed his eye to learn wisdom. Chisaibu has also sacrificed to the god in this box, who maimed his poor fingertips. These cuts may not have appeared grievous to the naked eye, but those who can see with the inner eye of the soul, holy men like Chisaibu, would instantly recognize the spiritual wounds inflicted on this poor curious halfling. To cover these psychic scars, Chisaibu will wear gloves for the rest of his life. Or whatever.
During this time of spiritual reawakening-- or is it a rebirth? Or just a birth? Or death? Has he gone to the other side again? Here Chisaibu can only shake his fist at the sky and curse the impotent gods who trained him so ineptly in priest-craft that he is left with no answers in such a time of many questions.
But, to continue, in this time of... In this time, the time when he and the box have been chatting it up, Chisaibu has been puzzled by Shaft's strange and sudden shyness. He has grown quiet of late, which is worrying. To be specific, the box is worried, although Chisaibu has done his best to allay the box's fears.
(On an unrelated note, the box -- The Box? --- has so far been unforthcoming on the subject of its name. This kind of freaked Chisaibu out at first. I mean, what kind of person won't tell you what their name is? Weird... But the more he and The Box have gotten to know each other, the more he has come to admire his rectangular little friend. It's a nice contrast to his experience with Brother Courtesy, who was happy to introduce himself and then spent the rest of his time putting a lie to the name.)
In the days and nights past, Chisaibu hasn't been sleeping much. The Box says it suffers from insomnia, and gets lonely when it has to sit around all nght with no one to talk to. (Chisaibu think the real problem is that it is afraid of the dark, but he has decided it would be rude to say so.) For an insomniac looking for conversation, The Box doesn't talk much at night. So Chisaibu has been spending a lot of time talking to Shaft recently, while his new friend sits by, content just to listen.
But Shaft has turned taciturn. Laconic. He doesn't say much. The desire to avoid awkward silences has drawn Chisaibu out into conversation farther than he would usually go. And since everyone has been speaking in Jipangi for the last few days, Chisaibu feels more comfortable opening up. He finds himself saying things he never thought he was brave enough to say. Still Shaft says nothing. But Chisaibu is now sure that this is a sign of his earnest desire not to interrupt Chisaibu's train of thought. He has been a very good listener.
"Shaft, I know we have talked about this a few times in the past couple days, but I have to tell you one more time that I am really puzzled by your behavior. No, I don't mean the way you've been quiet lately. It kind of freaked me out at first. I was doing so much talking and you two were so quiet, sometimes I thought I would go crazy!
"But I'm coming to respect that. This kind of modesty is rare among bushi, but to tell you the truth, I find it very seemly. It's... I don't know... Lordly. Magnanimous. Very dignified. No, I respect you more for this. I really do.
"No, the thing that puzzles me is how you fought that night until you could hardly stand up. Why did you do that? You kept fighting until there was no one left to fight. And it wasn't because you were blood-mad. Don't try to tell me that! I've seen that before, and you were in control that night. Completely in control. So what was it? Why did you sacrifice so much? The Box thinks it's because you were afraid.
"Don't look at me like that! I don't even know what it meant by that! No, seriously.
"So, why did you do it? I just don't understand. I would never have done something like that. Not on purpose. Yeah, go ahead. Smirk about it. Keep that up and I may take back what I said about you being lordly earlier. Just kidding.
"But what would push you to go so far? You might have died, you know. You could very well have died. You almost did. It was very dangerous, what you did. What on earth possessed you that night? What were you thinking? And don't tell me you don't know, because I know you did. I saw you. You were in control. You chose to keep fighting after you could have quit. If there's ever a case of putting others before self, this is it. Why?
"Come on, I won't make fun of you. I really want to know. Just tell me. I'm trying very hard to understand this. Me and The Box have been talking about this a lot, and I think he gets it, but I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it. Well, I guess I'll just keep trying. It's good of you to help me try to work through this. I really appreciate it. Thanks for listening.
"And thanks for saving me that night."
Chisaibu climbed a tree that night, leaving The Box on the ground with Shaft, and thought a long time about his conversation with Shaft. But try as he might to figure it all out, the only conclusion he came to was that Shaft was truly the best friend he had ever known. He climbed down out of the tree even more impressed with Shaft than he had been before.
Shaft's decorum and quiet dignity appeared all the more laudable the next day when they were contrasted with the rough manners of the surly character Chisaibu met in the woods the next day. Admittedly, the man had a bruised and battered body, but what about his soul? Chisaibu saw no sign of spiritual ill-health. Which reinforced his belief that all so-called warriors are just big sissies and momma's boys. Hm. Well, Chisaibu will try to set aside his prejudices and deal justly and graciously with this stinking, ugly, cretinous wretch.
The Box wanted to leave the man without so much as a how-d'you-do, but Chisaibu convinced it that this would be a mistake. Not only would it be stooping to the brute's lowly level returning rudeness for rudeness, but it would be imprudent as well. After all, the man could be a spy for the deer. Or for the funny yellow-blooded gooey guys back at the manor. On the other hand, he could be a messenger sent down from the gods. Without talking to him, it would be impossible to know.
"Besides, to know more is always better," Chisaibu concluded sanctimoniously. The Box agreed readily, and something in the way it smiled made Chisaibu wonder if perhaps it had only raised the objection so that Chisaibu would argue and come to this very conclusion. He eyed the box carefully out of the corner of his eye, but it was too canny to give anything away.
Thus, Chisaibu will approach the man-- cautiously. He will attempt to stay well out of his reach, and will keep his right hand free to use one of his spring-loaded throwing daggers.
He will ask the man who he is, where he comes from, and what he is doing out here in the woods. He will start by asking the man in Jipangi, since that way seems less likely to elicit a useful response.
He will ask the man if he requires a healer. If this is so, Chisaibu will ask the man where to find a healer. After all, one tree is pretty much like any other to Chisaibu. It's not like he's got a clue where the healer is around here. It's all he can do to change Shaft's bandages and pour some liquid down his throat from time to time.
But the most important thing is that Chisaibu will require the man to keep his eyes closed at all times. If necessary, he will even tell the man so in common speech. Shaft has been keeping his eyes closed a lot lately, even when they talk. And this has come to seem like a very sensible practice to Chisaibu. And the whole idea of eyes is kind of wierd when you think about it. Nasty little white things rolling around inside your head all on their own, like great fat maggots with big black sucker-mouths. Grotesque.
So if the guy can answer a few simple questions in Jipangi and keep his eyes decently covered, Chisaibu will be a happy camper. Or a campy happer. Or a champy pamper. Pappy sampler. Ook.
JOHN
Subj: belated berated aerated elated
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2001 6:56:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: JPayne1138
To: [email protected]
Timothy,
Okay, I know my last letter was really long, but I just thought of a few other quick things...
1. I wrote down that there was also a purse in with that nobleman's clothes, but I forgot to have Chisaibu open it up and see what's inside. Can we assume he opened it and appraised the value of its contents during these last few days?
2. I saw something about characters healing their level in HP plus CON bonus. Is this an option presented in the official rulebooks, or is it just somebody's house rule? In some ways, the con bonus is more compelling than the level bonus, but the level bonus for HP recovery makes at least as much sense as additional HP for each level. Maybe you should say that characters who go to their level or below in HP are critically injured and their bodies will not heal normally until they recover somewhat. Say 3d6 days minus con bonus and level. Then after that, they can recover one plus their con bonus per day. Maybe a Fort save to avoid infection. Or maybe a fort save to regain con bonus worth of HP. Or character level worth of HP per week. Or something.
3. Was Shaft in his armor when Chisaibu found him back at the thieves' guild? Is he still in his armor? If he is, can we have Chisaibu help him get out of it, or would that take an intelligence roll or something? If so, it ought to have a bonus because it seems like something that would have needed to happen for him to change the bandages anyway.
4. What does Giandurre look like?
5. Who is Tunis/Tanis? Is this a fake name for Giandurre?
6. What season is this? I'm assuming it's summer, because I think we said that sundown is at about nine, but I'm not sure I remember that correctly.
7. Does your bookstore have an online catalog that I can peruse?
8. That's all.
9. Later,
10. JOHN
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All text and images copyright � 2001 John Payne. All rights reserved.
Episode 10 of the Gold Monkey Project was posted on Monday, April 23, 2001.