Subj: The Gold Monkey Returns
Date: 1/20/00 3:19:15 PM Mountain Standard Time
From: [email protected] (TIMOTHY FRANTZ)
To: [email protected] (John Payne)
Hi John,
Sorry I've been gone so long. I didn't realize I hadn't checked my mail since Christmas. I thought It had only been two weeks.
Anyway, ON TO THE MONKEY!!!!
When we last left our hero he had just successfully started a barroom brawl by interrupting an all too common thief and his associate who were trying to relieve Shaft of his purse. Having done his bit to preserve the balance of good and evil for the day, he blithely walks off towards the door of the Tavern trying only briefly to remember why he was here to start with. He quickly gives the exercise up as unimportant after a low-flying chair narrowly misses him. He decides instead to concentrate on the serene atmosphere: the flickering torchlight, the occasional patron sleeping blissfully on the blood-stained floor, the barkeep attempting to restore order, this table of unattended food that no one will miss, the plate in his hand snatched from the aforementioned table before it was suddenly replaced by a pile of kindling that someone is napping on, the purse in his other hand that the person napping in front of him is obviously not using right now. Chisaibu breathes deeply the satisfaction of a job well done and strolls out the door.
He turns in the direction of where his possessions are safely stored. He's pretty sure he saw armored men with swords in their hands running from that direction. It's hard to say as he was being violently yanked into the alley leading behind the tavern at the time.
"You made me drop my plate!" he complains from under some oaf's arm.
"Quiet!" comes the hissed reply.
"I wasn't done with that yet. I was hoping for dessert on the way home. How can I have dessert when I haven't finished my dinner yet?"
"I said quiet!" Chisaibu's two-legged taxi has reached the back of the tavern and now holds him against the wall, three feet off the ground by the neck, thus compelling Chisaibu's silence.
There are two other people here. The three of them look vaguely familiar, something about the bar he just left. The shortest (only 5 foot 11) and best-dressed of them steps forward.
"I see you got our message. Thank you for responding." Chisaibu nods his head in response but it comes across as more of a rolling motion.
The speaker continues. "You may call me Tunis. I represent a personage of some power who wishes to remain anonymous. I am, however, authorised to act in all matters and make any arrangements I wish to on my client's behalf. It has come to my client's attention that you have an object that you wish to know more about-- a cube of some sort, I think. My client has the means to help you. But such would require a great expenditure of power and resources and my client is quite busy for the next few days on... research."
Chisaibu finds all this fascinating but on the whole would rather hear it from a more comfortable position. Maybe he can slip out of this oaf's hand by blending into the background. The goon might just forget he was holding anything and let go. Great plan! Now if the wall were just a touch more blue it would be easier to blend in.
"However, my client proposes a trade. A service for a service. There is an object owed to my client as payment for a debt. The debtor has reneged and fled beyond this city. You retrieve this object, and my client will identify your cube for you."
Blending in doesn't seem to be working. Let's try hiding in shadows. Chisaibu is quite good at that and besides, it seems to be getting darker out here anyway.
"Percy, let him go. He's no use to us dead."
"Not much use alive, if you ask me."
See! Hiding in shadows worked. You're on the ground now. This would be a good time to make your excuses and go. But all those pretty red and yellow spots are calling to you. Besides why waste energy running when you're sure if you lean over at just the right time you can simply fall out the bottom of the alley as it passes under you. Did this guy say something about your cube?
"... is a sapphire. You can't miss it. It's three inches long, two inches wide and an inch thick. It's one of a kind. My client is the rightful owner of it in exchange for services rendered. Understand this. My client is honorable. You are being hired only to retrieve this one item. If anything else goes missing from the gem show my client is not responsible. Are we agreed?"
You go to say something but start to choke and cough. You bob your head to try and clear your throat.
"Good! Here is a map to Hillshire by way of the road heading west. It will take you a good two days to get there and the gem show starts in three days. It will be open to the public three days and probably guarded at night. After you retrieve it, return to this tavern at sundown. If you do not return in ten days my client will assume you have been captured, killed or have
betrayed us. That last option would not be a wise decision."
Tunis, Percy and friend turn to leave. You finish clearing your throat and find your voice.
"Wait!" you call.
Tunis turns and glares at you coldly. "You have a question?"
Well, DO YOU?
Talk to ya soon,
LONGSHOT
Subj: Sapphfires
Date: 1/27/00 10:28:33 AM Mountain Standard Time
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Timothy,
Thanks a million for your comments on Long Pig. It's not a finished story-- I want to expand it a lot and explain a lot of the things you commented on. But you are correct in that I am trying to develop the world of Helga, Shaft/Kumalo, Chisaibu and the rest through writing short stories. I had never thought of trying to serialize the Helga stories, but now that you have brought it up, it seems like a great idea. Once I get another one or two done, I might propose such a thing to one of those magazines. That would be very cool.
AND NOW...
Tunis turns and glares at Chisaibu coldly. "You have a question?"
"Not a question, no, but... Well, as I am a holy man, I wish to give you my blessing before you part my company." Chisaibu will then bless them in jipangee with a chant he learned in his childhood from a priest who stayed briefly in his village: "Chisai kiroi saru da, anata wa namazu da." (I am a little yellow monkey; you are a catfish.) After the blessing, he will give to Tunis a gold piece and say in a kindly tone, "For the children of the poor." Then he will pass a gold piece to Percy and say, "For your wife."
With this benediction, he will part company-- swiftly, if need be.
First and foremost, he wants a drink to help his head stop spinning, or at least make the sensation feel a little more normal. Chisaibu never drinks alone (unless he does) and so he heads back into the tavern to retrieve Shaft. If Shaft is still engaged in brawling, Chisaibu will help him out in his own special way, by looting the bodies of the fallen, and tripping the occasional assailant. Other than that, he will seek to stay out of the way of brutish fists and the like. He has his weapons on him, but Chisaibu never gets into a fight he can avoid (unless he does).
Once he has located Shaft, and Shaft has got his fill of fighting, Chisaibu will get a bottle of something fruity-tasting-- he never drinks hard liquor (unless he does)-- and the two of them will depart for more a picturesque locale. The pit matches, for instance. He and Shaft will have a few drinks and talk things over. Chisaibu will watch himself carefully to ensure he doesn't get knocked-out loaded, because he doesn't want some half-trained amateur relieving him of his hard-earned gold.
Chisaibu is feeling a little stir-crazy and wants to get out of town for a little while, and this little jaunt out to the country to pilfer jewels sounds like just the ticket. On the other hand, that would mean missing the costume ball, and Chisaibu hasn't been to one of those in ages. In fact, never. In fact, he doesn't know what the word ball means. He doesn't know what the word means means. Nothing means. No meanings. Nani-mo gozaimasen ga...
This is a tough choice. However, the solution, as always (or never) is simple: fire. The costume ball is supposed to happen in three days. But, if the mansion burns down tonight, it will probably be delayed, and Chisaibu has a good chance of making it back from his felonious side-trip in time to attend the ball.
Here's another way to think about it. Let's say this is Wednesday night/Thursday morning. Wednesday morning, he heard a rumor about a costume ball in three days. By my reckoning, that would put the ball on Saturday night. Now, he just heard about the gem show, which also starts in three days. Depending on how the guy was counting, that would mean the show starts either on Saturday or Sunday. It will stay open for three days, meaning either Sat/Sun/Mon or Sun/Mon/Tues. It takes two days of travel to get there and is closed at night. If Chisaibu and Shaft were to depart the morning after the costume ball (Sunday morning), they could make it there Monday evening, or sometime during the day on Monday, if they really push it. So, it is possible to do both, especially if the show doesn't start until Sunday. And even if they miss the public part of the gem show, they would be able to follow it for a couple of days and still make it back before the ten-day deadline.
These calculations would have been easier if Chisaibu had thought to ask what exactly the man meant by �three days,' but a holy man such as Chisaibu can hardly be expected to trouble himself with the mundane details of this temporal world. Time is measured to men only, and Chisaibu is not a man-- he is a servant of the eternal and timeless gods.
(A note to the DM: it might be helpful if we could name or number the days, to make it easier to keep track of what happens when. Also, what season is it?)
Chisaibu, of course, prefers burning the mansion down tonight, but perhaps Shaft will be able to talk some sense into him.
Once they have decided on a course of action, or at least talked about it a bit, Chisaibu will remember something about armed men coming from the direction of his hidey-hole and will be gripped by a feverish paranoia. He will drop whatever he is doing and run at top speed to his hidey-hole, seeking reassurance that everything he left there still remains, safe and sound. He is in the throes of a wild, mad, jealous, greedy passion, and woe to him who Chisaibu finds in the alley with his things. Woe likewise unto him who attempts to keep him from reaching his hidey-hole.
The monkey runs.
JOHN