U. S. PEACE CORPS
Country:     Antigua, Eastern Caribbean 2003-2005
Program:    Youth & Community Development
Job Title:    Information & Communication Technology Trainer

Hello! This is the story of my time in the U.S. Peace Corps, serving in Antigua in the Eastern Caribbean. This is my own journey and consists primarily of excerpts from my personal journal and photographs that I have taken along the way. I don't know if my experience is typical of others who serve in the Peace Corps. Since Antigua has a large tourism industry, is fairly urbanized, and the fact that working in the computer arena necessitates a minimum level of modernization, I suspect that it is not. However everyone's experience is unique. This is just the story of one of those. Friends think I'm on an extended vacation - granted the beaches are beautiful and I have recreational opportunities that may not be available to other volunteers serving in sub-Sahara Africa or the Ukraine, for example - I hope that my writings and photos will portray a diverse picture of life in the Caribbean. One of the locals said to me the other day, "Some people say that we're living in paradise. What do you think?" Well, this is what I think...

Follow the links at the top of the page to read excerpts from my journal of the two years that I spent in Antigua. It will take some time, but I suggest that they be read in chronological order, from oldest to latest, for best continuity and flow. I hope you find it entertaining and somewhat insightful. Enjoy!

Work is finished and my flight itinerary is set. I leave here and arrive back home in San Diego on July 15, 2005.

I've been back in San Diego more than 15 months now, back in my home for 14 months, and at the new job for exactly one year. What do I know? The first months home were difficult, mostly because I wanted to put it behind me and everyone wanted to talk about it. Even today, if the fact that I recently spent 2 years in the Peace Corps comes up in the conversation, I usually say as little as I can get by with unless pressed to say more. I've moved onward and forward, and although I will always carry it with me, it does not define me. But there are some interesting things to note, maybe unexpected, and I think it's worth sharing... or at least recording.

In reflection, the time spent in Antigua was probably the most difficult 2 years of my life. I was not prepared for the isolation and feelings of being so ... foreign ... so alone ... there was an ambivalence towards my very presence that was anything but welcoming. There were so few relationships of any significance, but what was there was just enough to sustain me and get me through. Without those, I could not have done it.

Several months after my return, I had an experience that shed some clarity on the reasons why I had to go to the Caribbean, why I had the feelings that I did while I was there, and why I had to leave in the end and return home. Basically it was a karma thing, now resolved. And although it all came together for me and I understood, it still bothered me that I had (have) so little control over the situations of my life. But I put it behind me - I let go and I move on.

I don't know what this journal will mean to those reading it. Until now, I did not post an email address because I didn't want to get bombarded by spam. I've since rethought that decision - you may email me at [email protected] - just make sure to put "Peace Corps" in the subject line or it may get missed. I've also decided to update the paragraph on the PCV assault described in May 2004. It didn't seem appropriate at the time to go into detail, but now that we've all departed the island, it's probably ok, maybe even the right thing to do, I don't know.

So from where I sit now, what surprises me the most, I think, is that the primary people in my life today I did not know before I left, or at least did not know them well. Almost without exception, the closest people to me now, I didn't know barely more than a year ago. Remarkable. People grow, they move on, they learn to live their lives without you. Me too. It's ok. I love my old friends, and now I have a whole bunch of new ones to love as well. It's all good. And who would have known that I would learn to love the rock so much? Today I climbed my first CLEAN 5.10 - yahooo! I've been backpacking, climbing mountains, climbing rocks - enjoying this beautiful state more than I have at any time before. I don't know what the next move is. God is guiding me, I am at peace, and that's all that matters.

UPDATE 9/5/2007 - My photo album has moved to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/joykl03.

The latest edition of the Volunteer Handbook requires that I add this disclaimer:
The contents of this Web site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.