Tyson Jokes

The Top 15 New Problems for Mike Tyson
15 Fight controversy may adversely affect pro wrestling career.
14 Upcoming TV special with Martha Stewart in doubt.
13 That constant ringing in his mouth.
12 Spock vs. Tyson bout hastily cancelled.
11 Can't decide between the Crest & Tom's of Maine endorsement deals.
10 Kids really start to freak out whenever he tries to play "Got Your Nose."
9 New nickname of "Nipsy" less intimidating than "Iron Mike."
8 Has absolutely no idea how to handle his next opponent Vinny "No Ears" Bottatucci.
7 Nobel people called -- they want their peace prize back.
6 Saturday: Bite some guy's ear off. Sunday: Ozzy Osbourne won't stop pestering you to go for a drink.
5 Willing opponents now down to Vincent Van Gogh and J.Paul Getty, Jr.
4 Don King, fearing a loss of credibility, ups commission from 98 to 99%
3 ASPCA has yet to approve match with Marmaduke.
2 He's starting to make O.J. look respectable.
and the Number 1 New Problem for Mike Tyson...
1 Recurring fantasies about Ross Perot and Prince Charles

Tyson One-Liners

1. Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

2. Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off,he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!

3. Evander after the fight,"Maybe I shouldn't have told him to 'Bite Me'"

4. Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.

5. For the third fight between Mike and Evander,Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.

6. New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!!

7. They are making a new boxing term for Tyson....instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"

8. Can't beat um...Eat um!!!!

9. If Tyson fights Golatta,is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite?

10. In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!!

11. Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.

12. Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!