NOTICE

TO: ALL PERSONNEL

SUBJECT: NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY

It has been brought to my attention that the attendance of this staff is a disgrace to our gracious benefactor, who at your own request, has given you your job. Due to your lack of consideration for your job with so fine a system, as shown by much frequent absenteeism, it has become necessary for us to rewrite some of our policies. The following changes are in effect as of today:

SICKNESS:	NO EXCUSE. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE (for an operation):	We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation, as we believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than what we bargained for.