Pseudopsychoenvironmencology Today

Fitness Reports, or personnel evaluations, preoccupy an inordinate amount of time in the military as well as the civilian worlds.  Pseudopsychoenvironmencology Today presents here a combination of two anonymous "pass-arounds" which just might tickle the funny bone of anyone who has had to draft one.
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(Plain Text for page 20):

THE COMPLETE CONTEMPORARY FITNESS REPORT GUIDE

     Frequently, personnel managers and executives are called upon to submit fitness report forms that judge the levels of performance of various employees that work under their direction.  This guide will greatly simplify that difficult chore.

SECTION ONE

     Employees are rated as to whether their performance is: A) Far in excess of job requirements B) Exceeds job requirements C) Meets job requirements D) Needs improvement or E) Does not meet minimum requirements.  Using the above criteria, personnel directors can easily rate their employees in the categories below:



 

CATEGORY A B C D E
QUALITY OF WORK leapes tall buildings in a single bound leaps tall buildings with a running start can leap short buildings if prodded bumps into buildings cannot recognize buildings
PROMPTNESS faster than a speeding bullet is as fast as a speeding bullet would you believe a slow bullet? misfires frequently wounds self when cleaning gun
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