Loss and Bereavement

What is Loss? It is not only experience of the death of a loved one but numerous other losses throughout our lives. The experience of loss occurs when someone close to us dies, but loss has always been part of life, although we may not have recognised it as such. We live by losing, leaving and letting go.

There are many losses .....

Concrete Losses: These are loosing personal possessions, such as money, your home or your job either through retirement, redundancy or unemployment.

Abstract Losses: Include our dreams, childhood, our faith, hopes or expectations, our humour, health and possibly our femininity and virility.

Developmental Losses: Ageing brings with it the loss of hearing, vision, and natural hair colour and skin tone.

Loss Of Other People: This may be death but it also occurs through illness, when someone is deteriorating or changing as a result of terminal illness such as cancer or long term conditions such as Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. The carers and family have lost the fit person they used to know. Separation and Divorce involves the loss of partner. A house or job move or retirement leads to the loss of many familiar people.

Loss of Self: This may result from surgery, physical or mental illness. Emotional, sexual and physical abuse all involve the loss of how one may have been without experiencing it.

Accumulated Loss: We experience multiple losses in our lives and if we have been unable to mourn fully for each loss as it happens we may feel accumulated grief. This delayed grief reaction may be recognised by the person feeling that the intensity of their reaction is greater than they expected.

Anticipatory Grief: Refers to the grieving that is done prior to the actual loss. This has been mentioned earlier, when people start grieving before the death because they are aware the person is terminally ill or deteriorating so they begin to mourn.

Attachment: The human tendency is to make strong loving relationships. Thus the feelings involved in the process of mourning when we no longer have our loved ones in our lives can be overwhelming.

For many years I have worked with clients with many of these issues and I can help you to accept the loss and then to make the choices to enable you to come to your own peace and dreams of tomorrow