Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 8:38pm
hey, am i normal? - mood: happy
So I finally got off my happy ass and met up with Leigh yesterday for the first time in 2 months. It was really good to see him again. I connect with Leigh like I connect with Nicole - we all have the same sense of humor. I wonder if people around us (either combination, Nicole or Leigh) feel left out if we're in the middle of a severe in-joke attack, which occur frequently with both. You can't help but feel excited when you're riding the same wave with someone, y'know? We're all born in April, so it should all make sense now. Leigh: 14th, Cathy: 16th, Nicole: 18th.
Met
Leigh's friend Kjersten before heading out to Joe's house-warming party. She's awesome! We got along swimmingly; sure, it helps that we're both half-Asian (ya, brown power!), but she also shares my sense of humor and love for Homestar Runner. We paired off at the party, feeling a bit left out. I love social gatherings, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's hard to work your way into the conversation, especially if you know one other person in the whole room. When we walked in, everyone started watching a movie that was given as a house-warming gift:
Am I Normal?, which is an educational film about male puberty made in the 70's. That alone should inspire laughter.
The party moved to Skate King, where I subsequently busted my ass on skates, which I never really mastered when I was younger. It's kind of embarrassing.. being 20 and not knowing how to rollerskate. It'd probably be worse if I didn't know how to ride a bike, so now I don't feel so bad. Everyone from the party was
really awesome as they helped to teach me skate or held my hand to steady me or help me up if I'd fallen. Good people. I'm feeling the effects of my skate adventure though - I landed on my knees once last night, and it still hurts to bend them. My wrists are delicate from my hands catching my fall a few too many times. BUT... despite all that, I had a great time learning how to skate. Going to Skate King was nostalgic for Leigh, I'm sure; he seemed to be having a great time too.
Afterwards, we headed out to Kjersten's, hung out on the roof of her apartment building (the full moon on a clear night is so pretty, especially when you're on a roof to take it all in) and watched
Meet The Feebles, the brainchild of Peter Jackson who is the man behind bringing
Lord Of The Rings to the big screen. Thoughts: ....oh MAN, Pom Pom... that movie was disturbingly cool. We stayed after the movie and entertained the cat. The cat has a crush on Leigh. True story.
Random phrases from last night that I'll forget if I don't write them down:
"Yea... GET SOME", "Yo sweetness! It's my weakness!", "Biggie's still alive... in your pants", "You dwink. You're loose. You're a loose lush", "You're normal if you masturbate, and you're normal if you don't", "It's cuz we're brown, that's why", "Pom Pom and Strong Bad are totally making out", "You've got to stop dipping your shoes in catnip, Leigh", "The Butterfly? Nuh uh, that's old - let me see the Tootsee Roll", "Since when is sushi junk food?", "Delta Quadrant"
Bleh. Now I'm sick. Itchy throat which leads to coughs and painful swallowing (yuck, knock it off, gutter-dweller). I traded my health to see a good friend. Hot damn, I rawk.
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Thursday, September 12, 2002 - 10:37am
the self - myself, in particular - mood: content
Today will be my 3rd day back at my previous employer. Everything has gone smoothly so far; I remember everything I need to know to be �ber-efficient. It's almost as though I never left. I still haven't met some of the people they hired on after I was gone; my first meetings with them will be the inspiration for funny anecdotes, I'm sure. I haven't laughed this much in a place of work since I left this job for the one that wouldn't keep me. I didn't think I'd miss working with customers face-to-face, but now I realize that I did. I have a few regulars that would come in asking for me, and it's uplifting to see how happy they are now that I am back. Not only is it refreshing to know that my cash flow is going to resume, but it's just awesome to be working again. I felt so
useless for the week that I didn't have a job. Sure, the free time was nice, but as I thought about it more and more, I felt that I was lacking purpose. This job isn't going to be my career, that's for certain, but it gives me relief in knowing that I'm doing something.
Upon reading this blog, someone (who's name will be left out because of the lame-ass temper tantrum that ensued because of having their name posted here) said that my writing didn't sound like me. I find this terribly humorous, and I'd like to speak to that. My reply: maybe you don't know the real me at all. What I write in my blog is the culmination of what I'm truly feeling as I'm typing the words to match the sentiment. It'd be too ambitious for me to create a fictitious version of myself. The real me is far more interesting and amusing, anyway. These are my thoughts, dressed up in a form that is visible to everyone else. Perhaps this person doesn't see the link between my thoughts and my behavior. The link is there. Those who truly know me can see it.
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Monday, September 9, 2002 - 11:25pm
I'm going to WORK tomorrow - mood: relieved beyond belief
Long story short: was hired back at my previous job in a heartbeat after going to my old boss about my recent layoff. I'm just feeling this relief that's honestly beyond words. I'm so happy! Will write more later, just wanted to chronicle this most jubilant event.
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Wednesday, September 4, 2002 - 7:23pm
just fucking cope - mood: annoyed
It's been brought to my attention that some of my entries are offensive to some, as their names or actions are included in them. I'd like to remind my readers that this is
my journal, and I can record which events I want to. I can be as ambiguous or detailed as I wish. What I write here is my escape, and my way to look back on things that have happened to me so I can gain insight from what I do or don't do. Yes, this journal is posted online, for all to see, and that is a circumstance that I fully understand and accept. I refuse to censor or leave out events in my life because it may upset one or two people. It is my decision to be crass or diplomatic if I so choose to be. If you find offense in my entries, do yourself a favor and stop reading this weblog. I will not stop writing, so stop reading if it bothers you. Feel free to leave me a comment, drop me an email, give me a call, swing by the apartment, or hit the tagboard if you've got a problem.
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Wednesday, September 4, 2002 - 8:48am
reality check - mood: indescribable
I lost my job yesterday. Yes, a month into living away from home, I've had my first speeding ticket ($133 in Clallam County for going 71 in a 55) and I've been laid off for the first time ever. I kept my composure as the VP of Sales and the HR Secretary were telling me this. I'll never forget what they said:
"...we've decided to let you go today. Take your time cleaning up your cubicle, but as soon as you're done with that, clock out and leave."
I stepped out of that office, cleaned out my desk and took things off my walls. I've received presents from co-workers after being there for only 5 months; those were some of the hardest things to put away into a box. I did all this silently, and as I was finished, I sat next to Debbie. She got me this job, and was like a 2nd mother to me through junior high and high school. She was typing at her computer when I said, "It was really nice working with you, Debbie." As the words left my mouth, so did the tears and overwhelming feelings of rejection and anxiety. I moved away from home just a month ago... She just about cried too, from shock, I'm sure. I told her to please send an email to the friends I made while I was there; I really wasn't in the state to say goodbye to anyone. And so I made my invisible exit from Boxlight Corp.
Went straight to the lady in charge of hiring for the Marketing position at Activelight, to let her know that she can't contact me at my extension or my email. She apologized for what just happened, gave me her business card, and I left her office feeling good. If she were my boss someday, I'd work diligently for her. I really hope that job comes through.
I went to Bremerton to file for unemployment benefits. I never thought I'd do that in my life. The teenage invincibility mentality is really starting to wear off. I saw one of my neighbors there at the unemployment office, and he really helped me out and got me encouraged. As soon as I left, I went straight to Nextel and applied. I know 2 people who work there, so maybe they can say a good word or two to some pivotal people for me.
Visited Loree at work and sobbingly told her what happened. She was confident that we'd work everything out. She's totally proud of me for doing everything I did as soon as I got laid off. She said she'd probably lock herself in her room for a day or two before bothering with applying for jobs or unemployment. She said,
"I'm so happy we moved out together - you're so responsible and goal-oriented."
I love you too, dude. So after that, I mustered up the strength to go to my parents' house and let them in on what happened. I had a pounding headache by this time in the day, but I got through the whole scenario without crying. My parents felt bad it happened, but they were proud of me too for the same reasons Loree was. I hope that pro-active approach will pay off.
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Tuesday, September 3, 2002 - 10:27am
- mood: drained
By next weekend, I would be living away from home for a whole month. It's going great aside from being so broke :D I expect my finances to get back to normal by October. Let this be a lesson to you -
save money! I've adopted the habit of keeping change in a jar at the apartment. Will have to stop by Safeway sometime so we can feed that machine all of our change and get dolla-dolla bills in return! Another good habit I've adopted is more exercise. I work out every other day, as soon as I come home from work or as soon as I wake up on a weekend (it takes willpower, let me tell ya!). I'm hoping that my roommate will want to join me sometime; if she sees me consistently working out, then perhaps she'll want to work it into her schedule too. We need the exercise, that's for damn sure!
I'm going to make an appointment today with a counselor at OC - I really want to start classes again. I miss being in school! I'm absolutely dying to have intellectual conversations with new people. Not that I dislike my friends now, but I crave variety. Being at college fulfills my need for talking to many different people in one place. And besides, I'm in dire need of completing my Associate's :D
I've applied for an internal position at one of my company's sister divisions. If I get the job, I'll be the new Marketing Assistant for ActiveLight. I hope I get it; I'm starting to become unhappy in my current position. Although I've tried many times, I can't seem to forge a camraderie with my direct co-workers. I don't know if they're just snobby or what, but my job has become a lonely one. I get along beautifully with people in other departments, but it's different within my own. One of the sales reps. is the mother of a girl I graduated with, so it's like working with my own mom. The other sales rep is just a total dick. He's temperamental and difficult to work with sometimes. My direct supervisor is a bit of a ditz who expects me to do things beyond my capacity, things I should get paid more/receive commission to do. Keep your fingers crossed for me - I hope I get the Marketing job. I may even get paid a few dollars more, which is always a great thing :)
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to feast upon my Cup-o-Noodles for lunch...
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