Wednesday, August 28, 2002 - 3:23pm
my dad is *awesome* - mood: amused
I got "The Eminem Show" for my dad a few days ago, since he already has Em's
first 2 CDs but never got around to picking up this most recent one. Dad just
sent me an email at work:
"I did get a chance to listen to the Eminem CD yesterday.
I like almost all of the tracks - his rhyming skills are
getting better with each new album - no strained rhymes.
The syncopation that he creates between his voice and the
bass/drum line is really cool. So thanks - I enjoyed it."
So ya, how many of you can say your dad is that fucking cool? :D Most of your fathers probably give you all kinds of shit for listening to that CD yourself! I definitely have a great relationship with my father; he's borrowing my System Of A Down CD at the moment :)
~*Comments*~
Monday, August 26, 2002 - 10:14am
her new name is "Stitch" - mood: tired, but amused
I move into an apartment, and start to write entries 5 days apart. This is not good for you, the reader, although life has been grand for me, the writer. As I've said before, it's better to live life than write about life. Then again, it's beneficial to one's well-being to gain insight from writing about past events (but not dwelling on the past, of course). Someday soon, I'll settle into a routine at my new home, and will find the time to write daily as I used to.
Leigh and I have determined what sort of connection we share - he's like the big brother I never had. He's now joined an elite force of guys I've known throughout my life, who have been given the moniker of "Big Bro" :D Protective, hilarious, caring, and fun, my "big brothers" will always be an influence in my life, especially regarding interactions with non-"big brother" types. I think every girl has a group of guys like this in her life, and ladies, if you don't - recruit some! So thanks, bro, I appreciate your help :D
Loree and I went to the emergency room this weekend. She almost cut her fingertip off while cleaning knives at a baby shower. She had to get a tetanus shot and a few stitches, hence her new nickname :) One thing to know about Loree is that she doesn't do well with needles... although she has a tattoo. So thankfully I was there to help calm and relax her! Poor thing. We've been in the apartment for 2 weeks, and have already visited the ER.. an omen???
Things with Michael are good. We worked through some issues from the past on Saturday, and I'm confident that his energy is focused on our relationship, which is still so new and fragile.
I don't think I've ever been this broke before. It's a humbling experience, that's for certain. It'll be good to get on top of things, so the cash flow will be... flowing.
~*Comments*~
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 9:33am
I'm gonna be a belly-dancer! - mood: tired
Being tired all the time must stop. I have to really get strict with
my schedule, and having friends over at night. They have to leave by
10pm on a weeknight. I don't mind having people over at all hours on
weekends, as long as they keep quiet and don't stomp around the apartment
as though nobody lived downstairs. I still have to try and meet my neighbor;
whenever I'm home, she isn't. Either that or she's not answering her door.
Now that I'm committed to keeping perpetual drowsiness at bay, here's a
run-down of what's been happening in the past few days:
- Met up with Michael McKibbens, whom I met while working at Linens 'N Things; I was 17, and he was 16. He and I made out in a storage closet there, while on the clock :D We had huge
crushes on each other, but never got together because I had just started exclusively dating someone else. I stopped working there, and we lost contact. My roommate still works there though, and last week, Michael came in to visit. To make a long story short, he came to our apt. to hang out, he and I got to talking, and just naturally rekindled the feelings we still harbored for each other. It's an exclusive relationship. So much for not having a boyfriend for a while, huh? :D See July 8th's entry for details. It really makes me feel good knowing that it's just the two of us, working toward the same goal. He's so sweet, you guys. He's taken the garbage out for me (after I
mentioned in passing that I needed to do that), unloaded my dishwaster (after I
mentioned in passing that I needed to do that), and at night, he turns down my comforter, arranges my pillows the way I like, tucks me in, gives me a kiss & a hug, and locks the door after himself when he leaves. He even wants to learn how to cook so I don't have to (although I do love to cook). I could get used to this :D
- Adam and Loree (my roommate) are having a "beneficial friendship"; she went out on a date last night with a guy she'd rather be with. I'm doing my best to keep out of this whole situation, although I know someone is going to get too attached/hurt. They're both my friends, so it'll suck to see either of them hurt from this.
- Christina and I are becoming really close friends. She and I cried together yesterday. I'm glad she's found a girl she can connect with. That was always a difficulty of hers. Too many girls have stabbed her in the back, so she's been wary of females since she was 15. It's good to have a close girlfriend nearby, although I do miss mah chicas (Nicole, Magz, Roxy)
- I'm going to start working out! w00t! We have a full weight room at my apartment complex, so I'm taking full advantage of that on Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday :D They're even teaching belly-dancing lessons soon! How cool would that be?!?! I'll be like Shakira, who is totally hot.
- Going to a rave with Leigh this weekend up at Northgate! It's going to be radcore, I can feel it :)
- TODAY IS PAY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
~*Comments*~
Thursday, August 15, 2002 - 11:11pm
they call him "The Great White Hope" - mood: tired, but happy
Finally got around to buying "The Eminem Show" last night.
Amazing album. I don't give a shit about what you think of the man.
He is *talented*. He rhymes words that you don't normally put together when you formulate a rap. He can rhyme circles around you and put you to shame. He's got my respect - and my $20, but that's alright. What's my favorite song on the album, you ask? So far, it's
"Superman", which is his look at the single life and groupies/gold-diggers. I've never heard someone use the words "anthrax" and "Tampax" in the same line before:
Don't touch what you can't grab
End up with two back-hands
Put anthrax on a Tampax and slap you till you can't stand
The content of "Superman" has been labeled as hyper-misogyny, but I don't think that's what it is. One of the intriguing things about his music is trying to figure out when he's being tongue-in-cheek, and when he's being serious about what he's saying. People who say they hate him secretly own his CDs (maybe even some of his underground stuff before he was picked up by Interscope), or at least know the chorus of his most recent singles. So say what you will about Mr. Mathers - he rawks my socks, that's for certain. I can even get through the first verse of "Without Me" without tripping over the words. Now *that* is radcore.
The apartment is still cool. Loree and I just made brownies for our dinner party tomorrow night. The next few days are going to be great: dinner party tomorrow, sleep in Saturday morning, go visit Leigh and kick FF 10's ass (finally, right, yo?!), and just relax on Sunday. *sigh* It's been a long week. I feel physically and emotionally wasted. I just need to recharge. Off I go to into Shady's world...
You know you want me, baby
You know I want you too
They call me Superman
I'm here to rescue you
I wanna save you, girl
come be in Shady's world...
~*Comments*~
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 - 9:46am
the great experiment continues - mood: pensive
The apartment doesn't look like a storage unit anymore. It actually
looks like a cozy living space. And yes, it's spacious. I'm anxious
to borrow a digital camera so I can take pictures while we're in our
"it's-new-so-let's-clean-up-all-the-time" mode. I'll always be that way,
but I dunno about my roommate. She's the kind to leave dishes in the sink
overnight because she doesn't want to do them. I do them as soon as they're
in the sink so I don't have to do them later. We have yet to really see
where the potential for conflict lies.. it's only been 3 days. I'm a very
tolerant person though. I like to think I'd be an easy-to-please roommate.
Just give it time.. we'll see how this goes.
We have cable, internet access, more food, and laundry detergent. I've
set a goal of unpacking one box a night, as to ensure that I don't
overwhelm myself. It's working out great so far. I have the place to myself
again because Loree is working tonight. I'm tempted to just not invite
anyone over, so I can relax on my own, just for one night. I'll end up giving
in and calling people up :) I entertained D & C, my brother and his girlfriend for the first time in the apt.
ever
last night. Dinner was great, they loved the place, we watched TV, talked on
the balcony - absolutely successful.
I was expecting one more visitor - Jeremy - but he failed to call when he said he would, so he didn't
come over. I'm not terribly distressed by it; he's a busy guy. He's got a lot of friends.
Whaddya gonna do? I've trained myself not to sit and pine by the phone for a guy, even if he says he'll
call - what a waste of time. More often than not, they won't call, so why bother? So why is that? He could be busy. OK, that's cool.
I like guys with ambition and drive. It bodes well for any subsequent friendship or relationship
established with said guy. Another reason I've found to be true with me is that he's intimidated/scared.
He doesn't want to say the wrong thing or sound dumb so he doesn't call at all. Fair enough. I feel that
way sometimes too. But I don't think I'm someone who incites feelings of intimidation, especially if I've given
him my phone number. In any case, whatever the reason, he didn't call. So who will commence the next
attempt at contact? Not me. I absolutely
abhor one-way friendships. I've had a few of those in
the past, and I wish not to have any more in the future. I feel I've reached out enough to this guy; I've
invited him to dinner, to come hang out, etc. twice in a week and a half. He's been busy/had plans each time.
This is sending a strong message. I get the hint. I'll leave you alone. We shouldn't have put the cart
before the horse.
I don't think my soul could take this much longer. I've given away too many pieces of it over the past
20 years... unfortunately to those who weren't worthy in the long run. The shared moment doesn't last forever.
It slips away, and I'm alone. Knowing he only loves my body invites a dull pain, and sad regret. If he could share
the ecstacy
and the sadness, then he truly does love
me, as a whole.
...but when the moment is right, the surrender so sweet, and I feel like I'm floating, how can I say no?
~*Comments*~
Monday, August 12, 2002 - 11:09am
the aftermath - mood: drained, but happy
As things stand now, the apartment is functional for:
- Sleeping
- Bathing
- Watching basic TV (no cable)
- Using my computer (no internet access)
- Eating food nuked in the microwave or eaten directly out of its container
- Hanging out on the perpetually-shaded balcony
- Using the phone (w/ voicemail & caller id)
Amazingly, we moved enough stuff to fill 2 U-Hauls in
one day.
With the help of Dustin, Christina, Adam, my brother, and most of
Loree's family, our apartment is furnished. Getting things out of boxes
is another thing entirely though :D Major priority: get kitchen stuff out
and washed so we can use it! Everything else (books, videos, CDs) can wait
until the weekend, if need be.
It was kind of strange waking up this morning. I'm just so used to waking
up in my room at my parents' house. If my parents were sad or upset about
seeing my desire to move out come to fruition yesterday, they made no show
of it. They came over in the evening, and helped me to arrange my room. They
dropped off some food, took a look at the place (they like it, btw), and went
back home. I think it affects my dad more that I'm not at home. I'm about to
cry as I type this, because I know that I'm much closer to Dad than I am to Mom.
It'll be alright though - they know I'm only 4 minutes down the road from them.
Dad and I email each other all the time during our work days, so we definitely
keep in touch. I think my grandmother misses me a lot too. I'll bring her over
to the apartment tonight so she can get a look at it. I'll be visiting her at
my parents' house. I can't go without talking to her for too long. I learn
so much from her all the time, even if it's little things. We all know that little
things count.
I was up until about midnight working on my room, and cleaning dishes while Loree
slept. She needed to be at work by 5 this morning (yikes!) so I had no problem
taking care of some housework by myself. Have to swing by my parents' house today
to pick up some mail, and then Loree and I must either go buy groceries, or continue
to tackle boxes :D
Pictures of the rad new pad to be posted here soon.
~*Comments*~
Saturday, August 10, 2002 - 9:26am
not moving until Sunday.. - mood: anxious
I'm writing from my parents' house. I have yet to see the actual apartment Loree and I are moving into. If everything had gone as planned, we would be there right now. But I'm older and wiser now - sometimes things just don't go as planned, that's all. What happened was some foolish leasing agent (not the lady we'd be working with all this time) wrote down that we were going to move in on the 15th of August. We were told by our leasing agent that we'd move in on the 9th of August. Good thing we stopped by and discovered this mishap on the 8th! So unfortunately, the apartment isn't ready for
us until Sunday, although we are more than ready for
it. *sigh* So that's thrown a wrench in the plans. We have to move everything and pack enough to survive in just one day, when we could've leisurely did the same thing over 3 days if the place was ready yesterday. But that's alright - we made TONS of lemonade out of those lemons. We'll have a U-Haul packed full of our stuff when we march into the leasing office tomorrow morning to sign the lease, so the second we have the keys, we can get to our place and start moving things. No problem. I'm not going to lose my head over something small like a change of date. There are people in the world with far more heart-wrenching problems, and they handle them regardless. I strive to be strong like that.
Some of you have asked me what's happened with Jeremy. I haven't mentioned him since my "story post" below :D I dunno if you've noticed, but I haven't been writing much at all this week, so I didn't get much of a chance to mention him. I would write about him, but we haven't talked much this week. I know what you're thinking: "How can they NOT talk?!? It seems like they totally hit it off!" Look at it this way though.. we spent a
whole weekend together. When you're first starting to get to know someone, that can be overload, so it's usually best to allow some time to pass before talking to them again, or seeing them. I saw him yesterday for the first time in exactly a week. I was at Dustin & Christina's (as usual!) with Loree when he drove up. He was just stopping by to pick up something he left last weekend (a shirt - *giggle*) but he had 2 friends with him, so I couldn't really talk to him. Just gave him the usual pleasantries afforded to everyone else. Funny about that whole "just-stopping-by-for-a-minute" situation.. I conjured up all the
cajones in me and called him 2 hours earlier to see if he wanted to go to D & C's. He said he'd love to, but he had plans already. "That's fine" I say, "..just wanted to know if you'd like to stop by and visit." He said, "yeah, thanks for calling though." *melts* In my experience, guys usually don't thank you for calling.
I'm someone who thanks people for calling, just for the record. So tells me "no" on the phone, but may have changed his mind after the call? I don't know. Boys are tough to read sometimes. Point is: I saw him :D He'll have to come over for a dinner party sometime, when we get the apartment presentable.
One quick thing: how much do TagBoard admins SUCK?! My page has a totally different feel now that it's non-operational. They'd better get it going again soon, but I have a feeling this is a sly way of trying to get people to pay in order to get their enhanced boards. Bastards! I'm moving! I don't
have money to spare! ROAR!
List of People to Visit *SOON*:
- Nicole
- Leigh
- Geraldine
Anybody else wish to be graced with my presence? ;D I'll be starting my visits toward the end of the month.
Allow me one dorky blurt... Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is on DVD now!!!! YAY!!!!! I saw that movie in the theaters 3 times, and never got out of my seat each time, no matter how badly I wanted to :) I can't *wait* to see the 2nd one, but watching the 1st one over and over will suffice, I guess :D Let it also be said that I've been a Tolkien fan for
years. My dad loved the books when he was in junior high (about 40 years ago), and we still have his copies, although they're yellow and falling apart. My dad gave me my own copy of
The Hobbit when I was 6, and I read through
The Lord of the Rings series when I was 12. My dad, my brother and I are
huge Tolkien fans. And yes, we've read
The Silmarillion too. We three are hardcore :D
~*Comments*~
Wednesday, August 7, 2002 - 6:32pm
boxes are piling up - mood: happy, but anxious
Made a mental note of something cute that happened at work today. One of our sales reps. (the one that got arrested in Vegas for those of you who read the archives.. and if you actually do, bless your heart) received a call on his cell phone. It was his wife, whom he met while he was studying in Mexico. He usually speaks to her in Spanish, and being a high-school Spanish student, I can usually catch what he's saying. He was saying things to his wife like:
"Te quiero. �C�mo? No puedo o�rte, mi amor."
"I love you. What? I can't hear you, my love."
Absolutely
a-dor-a-ble. He says "te quiero" *a lot*.. perhaps I'll run across a guy like that someday, especially one that says it in a Latin-based language. Definitely worth mentioning since it's heart-warming.
Speaking of heart-warming, check this out:
Puppies :D Ya, that's my email in the pic. But how cute is that?! Way better than X-rated junk mail.
So I just cleaned up after washing my car. Might as well have it lookin' nice when I start parking it at the apartments, right? I don't want to give a bad impression. Which reminds me... I wonder what my neighbors will be like. If they're awesome or if they're evil, it will be posted here.
I don't have too much left to do, packing-wise. After I post this and start up again, I'm just about finished. It's really all coming together, and I'm very happy.
Talked to Nicole last night for a good long while. Now I feel whole again ;D It's been a while since we've talked! And we had
quite an in-depth conversation too. It ended with me promising to get my tongue pierced when I go to visit her. List your opinion on this in the tagboard or the comments below. I think I can cope - I have a tattoo, after all.
I wrote a mass email to friends yesterday, giving my new contact information, but I've only received 3 replies to date. How dick is that? Then again, I haven't contacted most of them in a while, and I only seem to write them once in a while, especially when I need advice over something negative happening in my life. This is positive though. I was at least expecting a quick note saying something like, "Got ur email. Cool - good 4 u. ok, thx, bye." But
pow, bang, boom - nothin'. <--- (catch the Salt 'n Pepa reference ;) hehe I just need to stop having expectations like that, I suppose. No expectations, no disappointment. Just have to follow the Middle Way...
~*Comments*~
Tuesday, August 6, 2002 - 6:18pm
aww, it's not so bad - mood: excited
I'm taking a quick break from packing, which consists of either throwing something away or packing it. Our �ber-amazing space-age phone is charging at the moment, so it'll be useful when we hook it up in the apartment on Friday afternoon. Some of you lucky people received our new number ;) which totally sounds like a commercial, doesn't it?! It has the same number repeat 3 times consecutively. Simple to remember. It cracked me up when Loree told me what it was. She's calling the cable company now, so we can at least get some basic cable set up by the time we haul our stuff in. Don't get me wrong though - I won't die if I don't have cable. I feel sorry for those folks. Hand them a book or somethin'. Yeesh. I've got plenty.. which reminds me.. I may need a bookcase to hold them all. Dammit - I can't afford one right now.
Thank gawd I'm only packing a bedroom. I'd go absolutely nuts if I had to move a whole house at this point in my life. I'm finding it difficult to just focus on packing so I can finish it.. I mean, here I am typing about it :D I wonder how long it'll take for me to unpack all this crap. Hopefully not long, as it's only for one room. I'll probably be so excited that I'll want all my stuff out of the boxes, and it'll be all set up on Saturday afternoon, at the latest. That'll be my goal!
I'd better enjoy this cable connection while I've got it - I'll only have shitty dial-up at the apartment :( Plus side: it's a free account ;) hehehehe My dad works for an ISP, so he can set me up for free! YAY! My dad rawks!
Alright, back to packing, or else I'll never get it done. It just blows my mind that I'll be in my 1st apartment in just 3 days. ::shivers:: I can't freakin' wait!
~*Comments*~
Sunday, August 4, 2002 - 3:27pm
the story of Jeremy & Cathy's 1st date - mood: happy & hopeful
Christina calls Cathy on Friday afternoon and asks, "What are you doing tonight?" Cathy looks about her room, which is divided in two piles ("to-be-thrown-away" or "boxed-and-placed-stragetically-in-Cathy's-apartment-next-weekend"), blinks, and replies, "Nothing - what's up?" There's some silence on the other end, which is indicative of devious thoughts. Christina goes on to say, "Well, Dustin's sister is staying here tonight since we're going to Dustin's cousin's wedding tomorrow, and Jeremy is here along with Ian & Adam. Jeremy is going to Federal Way to visit his brother, and I asked him if he'd like you to come along. I told him you expressed an interest in him the other night, and with that, he happily agreed. So you're going to Federal Way with him tonight! Just wear something casual, not too dressy. Just be comfortable. He'll be at your house in a half-hour; hope you're ready by then. Talk to you later! Have a good time!"
So without having to lift her finger or bat her eyelashes, Cathy had a date on Friday night thanks to her friend and matchmaker, Christina. Jeremy arrives at Cathy's house and smiles when he greets her. She melts, but quickly gains her composure, greets him, and hops in his gold Volkswagen GTI. Jeremy & Cathy swing by Dustin & Christina's house for a little while to socialize before heading out to Federal Way. Christina gives (veiled) added encouragement as the two make their way to the car.
As soon as the doors shut and the car started, the conversation flowed like a river. The two felt instantly at ease with each other. They discussed their jobs, their plans when they go back to school, their views on various things, and eventually, their respective recent break-ups. This further underlined their availability, and the (good) tension could be felt by both. Cathy realized how mature, intellectual, passionate, full of ambition, and �ber-dreamy Jeremy is; she can only guess what he thought of her by what she said. She figured he must enjoy her company.. he turned to smile and look at her a lot as he was driving, and sincerely ended most of her sentences with "I agree" or "Me too."
By the time their sob stories were finished, they were in Federal Way. Jeremy introduced Cathy to his brother, and she received a impromptu tour of his townhouse. Jeremy went to get dinner and some drinks; when he returned, the two were sitting opposite each other in the living room. Their attention was turned to the TV ("Orange County" was on) but their eyes kept making their way back to each other. A smile would crack on both of their faces, and they would look back at the TV, or listen in on his brother's conversation with his roommate.
Christina calls Jeremy's cell phone, and they talk for a minute. He looks up to Cathy, saying that Christina wanted to talk to her. Cathy sees this as the perfect opportunity to sit next to Jeremy without seeming bold. She plops down next to him, with her leg touching his. She talks to Christina, who asks how it's all going. Cathy decides to describe all that soul-connecting with just one word: "Great!" There's only so much she can say, with Jeremy being right next to her. Cathy eventually hangs up, and remains sitting there, next to Jeremy. They look at each other, and offer up goofy smiles. The time comes for the two to leave; they bid Jeremy's brother goodbye, and head back to Dustin & Christina's house in Seabeck.
Their conversation on the drive back picked up where they left off, and the good vibes continued. They both had a tough time staying awake, but they eventually made it back to D & C's house without incident. Oddly enough, the two felt their sleepiness fade as they made their way into the house. As Christina promised, there were blankets and pillows on the couch downstairs. D & C are really awesome about letting people crash at their place. Jeremy offered to sleep on the floor so Cathy could have the couch, but she said that would be ridiculous. Both people could fit on the couch; there would be no need for him to be uncomfortable just for the sake of
her comfort. He smiled, and took her up on the offer.
He took off his sweater and shirt, revealing a body that has been taken care of. And she watched.. not blatantly, of course. At least she doesn't hope so. She followed suit and took off her shirt. She piled the pillows up on one end of the couch, and Jeremy stretched along the length of the couch, and Cathy laid down with her back to him. She pulled the blanket over them, and he instantly wrapped his arms around her. She felt a tingly feeling in the pit of her stomach, and couldn't help but beam and wrap her arms around his. She felt so safe, happy, and wanted. His skin felt so warm and soft against hers. They continued to talk, and when she turned back to face him, they looked into each other's eyes. Jeremy took the initiative, and kissed Cathy. They continued to kiss.. all sense of time was lost, and their lips were almost numb as they finally administered a good-night kiss to end it all. They slept lightly - whenever he would hold her tighter, she would respond with a squeeze back. She was almost too happy to sleep. But sleep she did, and so did Jeremy.
They woke in a bright living room, with Dustin & Adam in the room.. Dustin with a smile, and Adam with a scowl. Cathy gave Jeremy a good-morning hug and kiss, which he returned before realizing who else was in the room :D Everyone in the house took turns taking showers, and they enjoyed a lazy day together. A plan to watch some street racing at midnight on Saturday night fell through; it was a disappointment for everyone, especially since Jeremy was going to race his GTI. Cathy was secretly relieved that he didn't get the chance to race - she didn't want to see him get hurt, or arrested. So everyone returned to D & C's house. Jeremy and Cathy decide they want to stay one more night, and D & C were more than happy to let J & C stay. This time, they were able to sleep on the daybed in a common area upstairs. The two didn't stay up talking quite as long as the night before; they just shared a few kisses, curled up in bed, limbs tangled up (comfortably) and fell asleep instantly.
They woke up this morning and shared a good-morning kiss. She rushed to take a shower because she had to return to her parents' house today. When she was finished, she went back to him, and they talked about this past weekend. She said that she had so much fun, and that she really enjoyed his company. He replied with the same, and it made Cathy smile. She told him that she's respectful of the situation he's coming out of (a bad break-up) and if she says or does anything that makes him feel uncomfortable, that he should (please) tell her. She promised to be straightforward too about that same thing. He assured her that he has yet to feel uncomfortable around her. This made her smile again. They both expressed a deep interest in getting to know each other better. She told him how attractive she finds him and she enjoyed the goofy grin he made from hearing that statement out loud, instead of being conveyed with passionate, gentle kisses. She assured him that it was true, and he expressed the same sentiment to her. They hope to see each other soon... namely, tomorrow?
*~~~*
My mind still drifts back to Friday night/Saturday morning, when we first fell asleep together. I wish I could always be there. Thanks Christina, you're an awesome matchmaker.
If I had another chance tonight
I'd try to tell you that
the things we had were right
~*Comments*~
