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nothing is foolproof to a talented fool... |
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| Page 1 / Page 2 / Page 3 / Page 4 / PAGE 5 / Page 6 / Page 7 / Page 8 / About Me |
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HERE |
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SIGN THE GUESTBOOK / MY FRIEND ADAM / VIEW THE GUESTBOOK |
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I don't mind being crazy...it's the only thing
keeping me from going insane |
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[email protected] |
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(bein' silly after crew practice) |
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I wonder if I'm the only person thoroughly traumatized by mornings... I'm not sure when the change occurred because at one time, I enjoyed mornings. However, it seems that, (these days) I experience the same fitful escape from sleep every morning.
Every morning, as I wake up, the same thing happens. I rouse [a feeling not unlike slamming face first into a brick wall at the comfortable speed of 80 mph] and THEN, the panic begins. |
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"Don't talk about it,
BE about it..." |
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---anonymous |
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WHAT TIME IS IT! WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE! DEAR GOD, I'M LATE!
It kind of ruins my weekends. I wake up on a nice, sunny saturday morning and end up dangerously close to a massive coronary because I'm still half asleep and can't figure out what's going on fast enough. If I had ever been drunk, I suppose I might have likened it to a hangover. While half of my brain is nearing meltdown, the other half is barely functioning at all. Perhaps it's a side-effect of sleeping through my alarm clock so many times. Either that or...well actually, that's probably why.. |
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"In my house, there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany, she said "Cut it out."
---Steven Wright |
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"I just got out of the hospital: I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a bookmark and flew across the room." |
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-Steven Wright |
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Basic Instincts... |
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| Egbegberun Aimoye |
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Egbegberun aimoye
Nwon won aso ala
Ogun awon t'a ra pada
Nwon Kun bi mole na
Ija won pelu ese
At' iku ti pari
E si 'lekun wura sile
Fun awon asegun. |
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Bitter tears streamed down my cheeks as I shut the door of my car and shoved my keys into the ignition.
I wanted to be angry, to scream, to yell but somehow, only a whimper escaped my lips. I wanted to shut my emotions off--as if by the flick of a switch. I wanted to close my heart to the pain but couldn't for fear it might never re-open. So, instead, I just sat by helplessly as tears slid slowly down my cheeks and dripped one by one off of my chin. My chest so ached painfully I wondered if my heart might actually be breaking in two. I shivered as a deluge of past hurts and repressed memories flooded my mind. Old pain mixed with new...like ripping a healing wound open but only, deeper than the former. Sobs shook my body. I cried out, half expecting to hear the door open as my mother hurried in to caress me...I wanted her to be there to soothe me, to rock me back and forth in her arms while whispering comfort into my ears like when I was little. "That's it, I'm going to go see---" My voice trailed off... I sat there for a moment before withdrawing my keys from the ignition with a heavy sigh. "Who could truly understand or even care enough to try?"
Each time I've felt any sort of emotional pain, I've been surprised at how truly excruciating it is. Like an animal caught in a trap, I would rather lose a limb than lie helpless in seemingly endless agony. As it plays out, one is forced to question how people survive it over and over again.
However, the most painful part of it is the loneliness. The need for someone who is willing to go through it with you, to hold your hand...someone to cling to...We all want to find that one who will take us into their arms and hold us tightly until our strength to cry is spent.
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(translation below) |
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Ten Thousand Times
(translation) |
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Ten Thousand Times ten thousand,
In sparkling raiment bright,
The armies of the ransomed saints
Throng up the steps of light;
'Tis finished, all is finished,
Their fight with death and sin;
Fling open wide the golden gates,
And let the victors in. |
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"God why?"our hearts scream out, "why can't I find someone to love me the way I need to be loved?!" |
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asking the right one the wrong question... |
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All people, no matter what age, gender, or ethnicity have that need in common. The love that gives strength in times of weakness--the love that loves unconditionally. But because we search in the wrong places for it, all too often, we find pain and abandonment in it's place.. |
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Many times, I've heard "relationship experts" agree that "to desire unconditional love is to expect too much." In many ways, they are right. Even a fool will admit that to expect flawless performance from that which is flawed is folly. (sorry about all that alliteration, folks) But the error in that statement lies in the assumption that unconditional love is nothing more than an unattainable goal--a selfish aspiration. However, since the question has come up in a wide variety of diverse cultures, one must assume that it is instinctual. We must have been made to crave and even need an everlasting and perfect love. Besides, doesn't society push the notion that we are to "want the best for ourselves." What is so delusional or selfish about that? If our need runs deeper than what other people have to offer then, logically the solution must lie in something else. The question is rather, in what..or, "whom." We can only expect perfect love from a perfect being---which is to say, "we were created to need the love only our Creator can provide." |
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HERE |
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Page 1 / Page 2 / Page 3 / Page 4 / PAGE 5 / Page 6 / Page 7 / Page 8 / About Me |
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SIGN THE GUESTBOOK / MY FRIEND ADAM / VIEW THE GUESTBOOK |
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