try not to spill any of it on you."
AIM/AOL: That Girl Lola
I love a good laugh and appreciate moral value. I'm not the one to just "sit there and look pretty," nor am I the type to care whether a person is in sweats or "Sean John." I'd much rather use my time doing something more productive like arm wrestling or the electric slide.
However, don't be fooled by my silliness. My most important (only) cause is Christ. I've been a true Christian (i.e. "saved") for nearly 3 years and I intend to walk that road alone or accompanied until I reach my destination. I know it might sound a little odd but then again, so does the idea of "dry cleaning."
(Born June 16, 1981)
"Well, what are you doing today then?"
I began to squirm like an ant under a magnifying glass.. My sister's probing ranks right up there with Iraqi interrogation techniques and Chinese water torture. To every question, my answer is always the same: "Um...I don't know?" See, when dealing with my sister, you have to be VERY careful of what you choose to say or not to say. She's very clever when it comes to figureing out what you "might be hiding." However, as wiley as she is, she hasn't yet cracked the old "I don't know." It's the safest response I know of. Although, you could probably drive a person to insanity with that phrase.
Yoruba Version
Of course using the statement all the time probably doesn't improve my standings with my sister but at least she's given up trying to figure out what I might be hiding. By this time, she was probably wondering how I even got into college with brain activity like that.
As I tore the plastic sealing off the top of the bottle of listerine I'd purchased the previous evening, a displeased moan escaped my lips... (*twilight zone music starts playing*) THE INEVITABLE...(*pause for suspense*) CHILD-PROOF CAP!!!
The secret of the childproof cap had always eluded me. This one was especially tricky. It had a couple extra knobs and a few handy dandy directions etched into the top. That must be why the gas station charged so much for it. *sheesh* Either that or, upon opening it, some unknown force would be unleashed into the atmosphere after a 2 million year captivity and cause an upset in the rotation of the earth and moon--reversing the cycle of the seasons and moving the hairpeice Gerald Kanke, an elderly Floridian, two inches to the left...well... maybe not.
Kodak moment: a 19-year-old college-student struggling with the child-safe cap on a listerine bottle--and losing. I'm not sure if that means the age of legal adulthood (18) needs to be raised or that I faked sick one too many times in the fifth grade. Either way, no solution would come early enough to save my ego. I was going to have to skip my usual pre-brush rinse today. "Only me," I muttered to myself as I replaced the listerine bottle and reached for the toothpaste.
To annoy me, send money.
Be back in five minutes"
...the musings of a procrastinating college student...