ARTICLES
- Peace Thoughts
- When Solitude Is Needed
- Cooping With a Failed Romance
- The Spell of Romantic Love
- Keeping The Value of True Friendships

POEMS
- The Love We Need
- Aversion

[ Home | Who is? | Writings | Lectures | Work ]

Why We Need True Friends

Good friends bring out the best in one another! True friendship makes for peace and security. It also makes for contentment and joy of living. Also, friendships are essential to our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Thus, real friends should be able to ask each other for enormous help when it is needed. When we feel depressed, a good friend can do much to reduce our sadness. When severe problems may arise and we may need guidance, we can trust the helping hand of our friend. Moreover, friendships can lessen loneliness or even make it vanish.

Friendship also means more than just having someone to turn to. It is always associated with love, respect, familiarity, confidentiality, and companionship. Friendships may involve neighbors, workmates, relatives, and so forth.

In view of that, all of us need intimate friends who truly care about us, whose friendships give us strength, peace, and happiness.

Qualities That Builds Friendships

Do not expect perfection. This is the first thing to note. Even when a friendship has a good start, there are going to be some awkward moments. But what if you friend made mistakes? We all make mistakes in all kinds of ways.

When friends make mistakes or upset you, be ready to forgive. Perfectionism can truly end friendships. What if you find out that a friend has talked about you behind your back, possibly revealing confidential matters? Do not expect perfection from friendship.

Be willing help and to give. Being willing to give is a large part of friendship. Showing genuine concern and sharing own feelings and opinions to your friend costs time and emotional involvement. Friendship is always a two-way street involving the spirit of giving. Therefore, ask not what your friends can do for you; ask what you can do for your friends and for your friendships.

The true friend shares his blessings as well as his time, his loyalty, and his material support when needed. Your material resources may be quite limited, but you can give your time. Your willingness to make time for others will make relationships flourish.

Take a warm interest in others. In conversation with others, we must listen; show an interest in their feelings. We must take the lead in displaying honor to others. We develop a friendly interest in others. We begin to display love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, and self-control.

Rather than wait for others to befriend you, perform acts of kindness toward others. In due course, you will enjoy the rich joy that comes from sharing a warm friendship and warm interest. By placing more importance on people and doing things together, you will develop many lasting friendships.

You must care for people. A friend must reach out and actively help others. Your interest and involvement in others was not merely a wishful notion. It is just having a real love and care for people.

A real friend has to care their friend, what they think, how they feel and why they suffer. One must be sympathetically interested in things friends do. One must accept their faults as well as their virtues. One must be willing to make sacrifices and help others to achieve their goals.

Be a good listener. Being a good listener is necessary in building a friendship. If we are genuinely interested in what others are saying, it will surely bring closeness. You must pay attention to how you listen and know the value of every word and understand it.

Be frank, open, and sincere to everyone at all times. And as you get to know and trust someone, you can gradually reveal more of your deepest feelings. Be honest with others. Simultaneously, learning to show empathy and fellow feeling for others is essential for meaningful friendships.

Show empathy and compassion when others are in trouble. Real friends can talk frankly to each other and help each other to improve or to correct themselves where needed. Real friends are compassionate and ready to provide help when problems arise. Show real empathy, kindness, loyalty, and love. Those fine qualities are vital in building true friendship.

Be considerate and understanding. True friends are not only honest but also considerate. They understand each other. They can also sense the other person’s view and ideas. As the relationship grows, they open their hearts to each other, becoming not only true friends but also close friends.

Be loyal. The most important quality of a friend is his loyalty. Stick with your friends even when times get rough. Defend each other when others would say some belittling remarks. Love them to the end. Such loyalty is indeed appreciated since today there is so much hypocrisy and backbiting.

Being a friend means more than just acting friendly. A friend is loyal to you and to your best interests. He must never allow selfishness and covetousness to undermine that loyalty. A real friend sticks closer than a brother and is constant in his loyalty and friendliness. A true friend will be firm and will adhere to his friendship regardless of the trialsome or difficult conditions.

Be a friend. Of course, “the only way to have a friend is to be one,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. Being willing to become a friend, to help others and work to excel in love, long-suffering, kindness, goodness and self-control makes excellent friends indeed!

Mark and remember, true friends are like diamonds—precious but rare; false friends are like common stones—found everywhere.

Things That May Spoil Friendships

Harmful gossips are very painful when they come from someone whom you considered to be a true friend. There is no harm in talking if we are truthful and no injury results from what we say. Indeed, positive remarks may encourage others. But harmful gossip will not draw friends closer together.

Misunderstandings sometimes arise when friends expect too much of each other. At such times, then, try to be understanding. Solve problems quickly and kindly. Make sure your friend realize that you want to maintain a good relationship. Sincere friends forgive each other.

Jealousy can also spoil friendships. Suppose that you have a friend who is richer, more talented, more attractive, or more popular than you. Do you resent the extra attention your friend might receive? The problem of jealousy every so often arises among friends. Some people may want you all to themselves. Keep in mind, friendship also means the sharing of a friend with other persons. This demands humbleness and modesty.

Possessiveness can also spoil friendships. This trait is destructive. What if you discover that a friend is spending more and more time with others and less and less time with you? Do you perceive your friend’s involvement with others as an act of disloyalty?

Bad associations spoil useful habits. They shows perfectionism, disrespectful, selfish, inconsiderate, or unconcerned in your feelings may also spoil friendships. If you look for close companionship with these qualities, you can be sure they will ruin your hopes and efforts toward gaining a lasting happy relationship.

Keeping Worthwhile Friends

Now, you have finally found a friend, someone who understands you. Someone you can trust and loyal. It is, indeed, this kind of a friend is worthwhile and priceless. And losing one can be a painful experience. Consequently, keeping a friendship is not an easy task.

To keep your friendships it helps to know what to expect from a true friend. It is important, too, that friends share the same interests and goals. If you choose for a friend someone whose interests lead you in another direction you may sacrifice your goal in life.

By illustrating, friendship can be likened to a plant that has to be cultivated. It must be watered and tended. Thus, maintaining a friendship needs to be cultivated. It takes planning. On our weekly list of things to be done, we might consider deeds of friendship.

An aid to keeping up friendships is doing things together. Distance may prevent friends from getting together, but a phone call, a letter or a card can certainly bridge the gap. It may also be possible to spend a vacation with an old friend. Time and again, reunions are most gratifying. Through thick and thin, prove to be as worth-having friends.

Enjoy Friendships That Lasts

Lasting friendships can be enjoyed! And every effort should be made to keep the friendships alive. Work optimistically to maintain friendships. Be supportive of your friends.

Be willing to share your friends’ sorrows, grief’s, joys, and successes. Show a sense of humor too, being willing to laugh at your own mistakes, not just those of others. Pleasant remarks can even serve to ease tension at awkward moments. Indeed, lasting friendships take work and determination. But the rewards make them well worth the effort.

Undoubtedly, true friendship leads to unselfish love, that it promotes open communication, that it brings comfort in times of difficulty and affords opportunities to do things for others. Friendship augments one’s life and spices it with greater happiness.

As a final point, true friendship, therefore, comes to those who express kindness, compassion, moral integrity, and genuine concern for others. Be able to rise above paltry jealousy and personality flaws. Place your friendship with love, respect, and loyalty. Again, mark and remember, do not expect perfection. By all these, you will always attract friends! Rest assured you will enjoy an outstanding friendship. FIN